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Wasteland



Among the rocks
and disused dust-carts I stumble~
discarded bottles lie dead
with broken necks;
the stench of ignorance decaying
around me,
makes me determined to clean
and disinfect.

Skies are bruised
and threaten rage (like myself now)~
the more I scrub the more
dirt I realize;
these country fields
have now succumbed to grim wasteland,
I've got no choice
but to find another plan.

Disenchantment
takes me back to my old haunts~
a wistful hand
leads me down to meadow lane;
I used to play here
as a child in the summer,
making gang huts
and tree swings in the woods.

But...

The scent of bluebells
mixed with leafy wild garlic~
has long surrendered
to sewage and decay;
a rotting carcass
makes me retch, I start spewing,
from threadbare rope
hangs the corpse of my own youth.

I slump distraught
amongst the weeds and dead flowers~
my past impaled on
a gnarled, embittered branch;
the panorama
from this vantage point tells me,
my young ideals
were no more than callow dreams.

This wasteland
illustrates that nothing can grow here~
there's no compassion
while love does not exist;
I drink the poison
humankind has decanted,
then close my eyes
and ask death to come for me.


Author notes

. F l o o r b o a r d s. The world is not in black and white, but shades of grey.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 121     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • Intricate Wordsmith
    November 16
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    I do not see a rhyme scheme. Please do adhere to the rules


  • aanika
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    'skies are bruised'

    that's a beautiful line.
    wow, this is in a lot of contests. :| good luck with those haha.

    your imagery and emotional content are very good. i enjoyed this poem.


  • Brlsbb
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is beautifuly written. However i do feel that it was a little bit sad, it didnt fit the promt as well as some of the other finalists. Thank you this was a truly good write, but didnt move me into a beautiful place but insded made me sad at the utter disgust of humans.


  • xkadiex
    March 4
    Edit | Reply
    i like this, i think it will do well


  • DeadlyPoetic88
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    wow you have entered many contests.
    this poem is well written. nicely done.
    thank you for entering it in my contest

    -deadly


  • ruthie fallen angel
    December 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good job its very interesting good luck


  • BarbedWireButterfly
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    46 other contests....And I wrote I'd get annoyed at more than three. The poem is interesting. Thank you for entering.


  • Stormbringer
    October 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "This wasteland
    illustrates that nothing can grow here~
    there's no compassion
    while love does not exist;
    I drink the poison
    humankind has decanted,
    then close my eyes
    and ask death to come for me."

    Amazing, I could not help but picture Socrates forced to drink hemlock.

    Bravo my friend.

    May virtue always triumph.


  • XxGoldenxXDawnxX
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm.. Grey darkness.. what is more dark.. the actual darkness or the greyness in between light and dark where there is not even emotion..
    This poem is unusual and conceptual - I like the style and the emotions portrayed and the negativity.


  • arnica karuna
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Loved it from the start to the finish. You have done a great job here. The stanzas flow well and blend into each other nicely.
    My favorite part:

    "This wasteland
    illustrates that nothing can grow here~
    there's no compassion
    while love does not exist;
    I drink the poison
    humankind has decanted,
    then close my eyes
    and ask death to come for me."

    I love the picture you paint with your words. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck!


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    August 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Gosh this has been entered into a hell of a lot of contests but I understand why, this is a piece you should be fabulously proud of. I loved every minute I spent reading this, basking in the amazing wizardry of wording. Welcome to the finalist list. Best to you


  • SignifyingNothing
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really love this. And I can definitely see why it won so many trophies. Your images really stand out and the poem is very, very powerful. I have often felt this very way. I even wrote a poem about the same subject, but I'm not too proud to admit that yours is much better than mine :-) I would tell you the lines I liked but I'd be quoting the whole poem. The images are just...wow. This kind of has me speechless. Great job, VERY nice. And thank you for entering. It is nice when I can say "thank you for entering" not just as a courtesy, but because I really, really am glad I read the poem. See you in the finalists list.

  • davidbetzer
    July 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is crap. Your use of language is simply horrendous.
    "a rotting carcass
    makes me retch, I start spewing," you have made a bold proclamation here, not about whatever it is you strung these words together to describe, but about the description itself. What is interesting is how this poem is crap. You aren't dumb, you aren't overly sentimental, or obtuse, or ridiculous, its like you are tone deaf--only to poetry.


  • echo-ink
    July 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    This was very, very good,

    apparently, everyone else thinks so too. Good luck, *again*


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    April 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, congrats on your many accomplishments... I have read your poems before, in other contests, and I'm glad that you have chosen to enter this piece here. It's full of imagery, and I imagined myself sitting in that field, breathing and tasting the air with you. Onto the finals list for you... Very well done!

    Laura xxx


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    March 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really great, congrats on all your prior wins with it. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
    ♥
    whisper


  • Pandorea
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    whoa, dismal. very dismal. really well written and i enjoyed it. i can positively see the 'wasteland' you describe. a great poem.

    thank you for entering.


  • Wall Door Salad
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this poem it was very truthful & it didn't over-exaggerate nice work. it caught my eye bcuz i have a poem called wasteland 2 and i was wondering if it was nething like mine but they r 2 different things


  • Tangled Angle
    March 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I remember this one. Still, amazing.

  • MusicMattnessLives
    February 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. good job. it reminds me of a piece of the book "A Million Little Pieces." lol. good luck and good write


  • Luminescence
    February 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh... this was a wonderfull poem.. my favourite line had to be from threadbare rope
    hangs the corpse of my own youth.

    Thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck, this was a great poem.
    ~lumin

  • know one
    February 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    well written

    I really enjoyed this poem!


  • LadyOfFate
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this tells me that I should reycle. very interesting and nice. please explain what it means to you. I would like to hear what this poem means from your persepective. thank you for entering and good luck


  • Commodore Rouge
    February 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting, seeing as how you can't please everyone, you seemed to do it. This wasn't my favorite, and the subject didn't appeal to me, but if you push that out of the way, this is an impressive poem! Not to mention how many trophies you've won because of it! That's amazing! Keep up the winning pieces.


  • Fading.Heart
    February 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good luck i nthis contest!


  • Thedamned77
    February 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was such an incredible poem. Thank you so much for being a finalist. Please don't be offended you didn't win. I REALLY loved this poem. You are amazing.

  • Thedamned77
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is such a beautiful poem! I wasnt sure which part was my favorite cause it was all just so good, but i did decide on this:

    from threadbare rope
    hangs the corpse of my own youth

    So awesome. I loved pretty much everything in this poem, but especially how you talked about how our youthful ideals die away and sometimes it's sad. It can be good too, though. Thank you for entering.


  • TizMoi
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    *********Excellent***********

    This is so dark and hard hitting and true. The wasteland where once there was life. You made me think about foot and mouth and how our countryside and farmland/farming careers had all now been wrecked. The imigary created also took me back to my own childhood and the endless hours I'd spend in the countryside.

    Congrats on all the trophy's you have for this poem, it really is an outstanding piece penned by you. - Di

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    My first thought,honestly,was why canvas opinions within the feature box after 15 awards for this poem? It had good usage of poetic devices,I adore and appreciate the mention of bluebells,so many other poets write of red roses as if,as if they were the only flower in the universe. The author notes state this is not black or white but shades of grey and I agree, we see, find,recall,and seek the colours that fuel our soul, the author seems to say that he felt wasted, yet I see no reaching for nirvana, an impressive list of shiny's for the shelf,peace from across the pond.


  • Apathetic Graffiti
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It reminds me of my old hometown, but with most people's view of it. I miss the barren, lifeless land myself, but I can understand why so many people dislike it.

    It also reminds me of when I was little and still thought the world was a loving place. It once seemed so lush and loving, but now I realize what an inhospitable land it can be.

    Great job. I really enjoyed reading it. ♥


  • Gl1tt3rn1nj4
    February 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful. I won't say much, since it's all been said.


  • Unsigned gold member
    February 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    What can I say.....................


  • Animarising
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes it's good, but then you already know that. Pretty dark, but I can sympathize with most of it, scarily.

    V. Good.

    ps. How many trophies does one poem need??

  • WoundedSoul
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The wasteland where once was life... this is an amazing concept. I also loved the way you put it into motion. actually, I loved everything about this poem.


  • genevieve3
    February 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i can relate on so many levels, wonderfull!


  • morganaxash
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Pretty amazing, and a little scary for those of us trying to compete against you... I'm curious; how long do you think you spent writing this?


  • Repetitious Chaos
    January 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Vivid imagery, Dear Poet.
    I'm glad to see this has won some trophies.


  • yael
    January 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is very good.
    i like the way you spoke of alcohol,
    and the beginning of the poem reminds me of a very obsessive compulsive kind of person...something like monica from Friends. the bruised sky gave a brilliant picture of a sunset.
    well done.


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    January 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautifully dark captivating piece, depth and emotion. Loved it. hugs, Bunny

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    December 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A very pungent poem. The wording is very descriptive and brings intense, lamentous images to mind. It leaves a sour, spoiled taste in the mind. Oddly, though the buds of my mind resent the thought... I have to say excellent write
    s and best wishes always... ~Genie~


  • O.o
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I can feel your pain...The emotion is strong. Very well done, congrats on all the trophy's! thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Tangled Angle
    December 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Perfect.
    This is truly amazing.

  • Rowan gold member
    December 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations~ so dark, sooo haunting.


  • artis
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    this one had me hitting the floorboards of your last contests to find out your author name, and then I hit the floorbaords again

    after re-reading it, it was like being in a heaven of my childhood, but noticing something was quite skewed, and then realizing that in my depression over lost youth, I had hung myself in my old stomping grounds and was now doomed to haunt its doppler of hell forever. thanks for your entry~~~Artis


  • IamRemy
    December 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very enchanting! I'm impressed.

    Thank you for joining. May we all be green.


  • Slinky-milinky
    November 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very powerful write, good flow and engaging. thank you for entering.


  • Fillthee Nae
    November 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I admire your writing.

    Very gifted writing. As I read my mind endured a mind cramp. I stopped thinking. Pictures of my own childhood flashed before my eyes and reminded me of so much heartache and disappointment. And it's pretty awesome.


  • Griswold gold member
    October 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Extremely well done, I can see that many before me think the same from all the trophy's this has garnered. Bless you...Scott


  • Nam
    October 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "makes me retch I start spewing," - should there be some sort of punctuation between "retch" and "I"?

    "from this vantage point tells me," - I'm probably wrong on this, but, going with the next couple of lines, wouldn't the comma at the end be a colon?

    This entire poem seems filled with self-retribution yet at the same time: not really. Sort of a quagmire, I reckon.

    A good poem that you have written here.


  • black-angelwings-
    October 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Love this line: the stench of ignorance decaying

    Really good job. It reminds me of a teenage wasteland and growing up.
    Awesome write. Good luck in my contest.


  • forbidden-colour
    October 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was great to read.
    Painful and so filled in sorrow, but beautiful.
    Thank you for entering.

    X


  • Ithica silver member
    October 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    When dreams remain unfulfilled it is easy to slip into emotional complacency. When it seems we have exhauted our options the tendency to feel less than lifelike is so totally human. Congrats on your trophys. This was extraordinary... Ithica

  • eternal-devotion
    October 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing.

    This is so very well written, I could feel your disenchantment with what mankind has destroyed here on this earth. You leave nothing much to the imagination for your words tell it all. I am glad that I checked this out as it was well worth reading and one I won't soon forget. As a wasteland is just what will happen if people do not change. Good luck in this contest as your poem sure shows the pain you feel and what those of us who love nature feel also.

  • lovelydesdemona
    October 18, 2007

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    Fantastic!

    The imagery was wonderful! definitely makes the reader realize what this world could become. I liked it VERY much!


  • ShadowEyes
    October 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is amazing. congrats on your wins! and good luck in the newer contest! keep up your amazing work! I can see how it won so many times!

    Shadow


  • Lost Memory
    September 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i quite liked this poem... im not sure what to say about it though... i liked it, thanks for entering

    ~Nick

  • nerd42189
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is one of the best pieces that i have read in this whole website and for sure in my contest this is just great the imagery and metaphor is genuine and genius. Thank you so muck for entering my very first contest.

    P.S. Congratulations on being not only a finalist but my front runner for gold.


  • freestallion
    September 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this poem. I especially loved, 'from threadbare rope
    hangs the corpse of my own youth.' -- and your extended metaphors of a wasteland of your youth/past is so stark, unique, and vivid that it really gives a clear image to the reader. However, I really don't like the last stanza and feel that it gives a bit of an 'emo' feel to the poem, which the rest does not have. I think you could change it to sound perhaps more optimistic. Just my opinion.


  • ellipsist
    September 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very eloquently worded

    especially for conveying such real and stark imagery... this definitely, uh, not appeals to, but haunts? taunts? torments? the senses... very well done... incredibly poetic for subject matter that is probably not typically thought to be so...

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    September 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is excellent, I enjoyed the images and the consistent emotion that plays throughout.


  • Random Goldfish gold member
    August 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Don't you just wish everyone would just pick up after themselves? I do...how ever much that will help...

    People always ask why storms get so violent nowadays...the logical reason would be global warming but to me it's the cries of Mother Nature... we hurt her so bad.

    At least a few times a week I go out into the forest and down by the river to pick up trash...thank you for sharing this...I really enjoyed your words.

  • Samantha Amergirdol
    August 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I can really feel the sorrow in this piece, a mourning for the bleak outlook of humanity. Very touching and eye-opening. I love the style and flow to this poem. A truly amazing write, great job.


  • brentsrich
    August 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Bleak, to say the least. A sad portrait, startling in its imagery and unsettling in its accuracy. I like some of the lines in here, such as "from threadbare rope / hangs...", "my past impaled on..." and "no more than callow dreams". Well done

    Thanks for entering.


  • My Darkness
    June 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    you've won quite a few trophies for this.. congrats.. it is a good write, thanks for entering..


  • forever dreaming
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So many fear to write what you have spoke of in this poem yet I love what you have done with this piece. There are a few parts within it however that seem to detract from the strength of the overall poem. Lile the bit about piss and shit. I think the poem would be just as strong without it. Its not that I am against such language, I just don't feel that it adds much too the piece. Whereas certain other parts do, such as the second stanza. The imagery within it is powerful and gives the reader an excellent sense of how you feel without being caught up in overpowering language. Overall I feel that the poem has great strengths. Just a few little tweaks here and there would make a marked improvement but I still like it enough to add it too my finalists list.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    June 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing write. My favorite lines are :
    This wasteland illustrates that
    nothing can grow here~
    there's no compassion
    and love does not exist;
    I drink the poison
    humankind has decanted,
    then close my eyes
    and ask death to come for me.
    Thank you for taking the time to enter.
    Best wishes


  • Blue Rew silver member
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    First let me say, I really approve of the contrasts drawn between perceptions of childhood and then the revisiting with the eyes of maturity. I agree that there are areas that just don't bring to the table what surrounding lines do. Such as: "the stench of piss and shit decaying around me, makes me determined
    to clean and disinfect"...it just doesn't fit with the great material surrounding it such as "The skies are bruised and threaten rage (like myself now)~" which gives off such intense imagery. The sixth and last stanza is excellent...I wouldn't change it one bit...However, the fifth stanza could do with a make-over. Maybe I've hit on the few things you weren't happpy with? In any case, I hope you will view this as a solid and constructive critique. Thanks for entering your writing, Blue


  • reckless abandon
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    it feels so true. It's a deeper thought on things so many people think. Although I do like life, I also do feel that it can sometimes be terrible, like someone or myself ruined it for everyone.


  • Eyes Wide Shut gold member
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very good. Thank you for entering my contest. This is so..imaginative. That's all I can think of to describe it. Great job. Keep it up and good luck.


  • Dead Star--x
    June 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for following the rules!

  • Dead Star--x
    May 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hangs the corpse of my own youth
    luv that line-this poem has a good chance in my contest
    BUT you didnt follow the rules & i will DQ you-feel free to enter it again following the rules or another write
    PrettyX


  • Kiusha
    May 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Is there a reason for the ampersands? I think they detract from the otherwise quite good poem. I believe it would look more professional if you simply used 'and'. I would refrain from using them at all except in slogans and sometimes in titles. This is not my final comment.


  • SeaWithYourHeart
    May 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    constructive criticism

    I realy like the poem but as you said there are parts that need applause but some small bits ruin the atmosphere your poem strives to create.
    "with broken necks;
    the stench of piss
    and shit decaying around me,
    makes me determined
    to clean and disinfect."
    Personally the language is both effective but also offputting when placed at the begginning of any poem.
    My advice is to build up tension to all your poetry give it life and excitement.Maybe re-place the words to fit a different way, maybe introduce a rhyme sheme to pick up a pace or rhythem?
    my favorite part of this poem was
    "It's now I realize
    that nothing can grow here~
    there's no compassion
    and love does not exist;
    I drink the poison
    humankind has decanted,
    then close my eyes
    and ask death to come for me."
    For me this is faultless! To me it gives a message of destruction of nature,which is very critical with events in the current political affairs.
    overall, a very good write. Bravo!!!



  • Entwining Beauty
    May 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Applausing


  • Entwining Beauty
    May 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oh my this is so sad but i still loved it good luck in the contest

  • Avani
    May 24, 2007

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    This is amazing, however (I think I should start writing this on the contest page) I am a bit bias with poems that were written for/are entered in a series of other contests. Especially since this one has won a series of prizes. I loved your writing, imagery, flow and the story. The ending seemed a bit cliche- but just because the concept of 'death' is so overused. But that's not a bad thing, it's because death is such an intriguing and powerful topic. I really loved the last stanza. This is just a quirky suggestion to play around with- but what happens if you took away the line 'and now I realize'? and let that thought stand unsaid? This is amazing, beautifully done. However, I am not sure how far it will get because of my bias.. I am really sorry and should write it on the main page. Feel free to enter more!


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    May 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This definately was well penned full of great imagery. thanks for your entry in this conest and best of luck to you,
    Vsutton


  • skaterz14
    May 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    This is good

    this is a very good poem and i hope oyu keep writting


  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    May 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was a really great write...i really enjoyed reading this..this poem flowed wel and your words were strong, powerful and emotional as well i really enjoyed reading this keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest

    ~Chrissy~


  • intanglio2ring
    May 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Enchanting!

    Your view from childhood to our adult ways captured in me my own compromises I've made. It's true we drink in the poison that never could we have imagined.
    Thanks for your entry & Good Luck in my contest!
    Tang


  • FunnelWaxFate
    May 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, the tone in this piece is incredible. It really puts the reader into a deep, brooding, gloomy mood. The metaphores and imagery are amazing!!! "discarded bottles lie dead", "the skies are bruised", "meadow lane;", "tree swings and gang huts in the woods", "scent of bluebells tinged with leafy wild garlic", "from threadbare rope hangs the corpse of my own youth.", "callow dreams", "poison humankind has decanted"-those lines especially leapt out to me. This write is incredible with depth and a terribly real outlook on society that really leaves the reader pondering. Very powerful write!!!!


  • grassisgreener
    May 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    you do as much justice to t.s. eliot as one can hope!


  • Trixie08
    May 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I tried to commment on this one a week ago but it didn't post. Oh o well I fell in love with this piece and I loved how you just compare life to a wasteland and it's so true. I mean with all the toxic things that people do in this world is enough to make me sick and this was a very insightful piece and I can tell you say whatever you want reguardless of who wants to hear it. Thank you and best of luck in the contest.


  • Pollycheck
    May 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for subjecting yourself to my review. I am not a fan of dark poetry, probably because I don't understand it. I will admit that your writing style does create a very vivid image in the mind of the reader and that is what every poet strives for.


  • hazeleyedfreak
    April 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sad poem. I like how you used lots of metophores in this. It's now I realize
    that nothing can grow here~
    there's no compassion
    and love does not exist
    I love those lines, they are what struck me the most. I feel this way too somewhat. Thank you for entering and good luck!


  • yourbentangel
    April 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very meatphoric. I loved this. It really made me feel sad. Good luck and thank you for entering.


  • Vera Jewel
    April 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering


  • ckwriter69
    April 1, 2007

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    Great write. I like the feel you created of this, of finding your childhood playground a wasteland. That truly would be a sad thing to encounter. good vivid descriptions and imagery. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.


  • Valley Girl silver member
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great write. You have alot of imagery in this poem. I imagine that it would be sad remembering a place that you use to go as a child and seeing it now years later. I can sense your anger in this write. Like I said you did a great job. And thank you for entering my contest.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    March 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very angry / sad write as you have stated... Also not used to people swearing in poetry as often it is taboo, but it doesn't matter, just like literature, if it's adding to an effect. Anyway, it sounds like you have OCD, wanting to 'clean' everything... I know this as I have OCD, and it's damn annoying.


  • crystallynnbradford
    March 29, 2007
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    obliviously you did not read the rules. This poem is DQ'd for swearing.


  • XHollowXEyesX
    March 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow. there is alot of details that go into the descriptions of this write. I really loved the flow of it and how you kept it, revoulting and stimulating at the same time.
    great wite.
    thanks for entering and goodluick


  • KittieLyyn
    March 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lovely. i loved this part with a passion.

    It's now I realize
    that nothing can grow here~
    there's no compassion
    and love does not exist;
    I drink the poison
    humankind has decanted,
    then close my eyes
    and ask death to come for me.

    it punched me in the face so to speak. good luck in the contest and thanks for entering.


  • dp robertson
    March 23, 2007

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    Hallelujah, thank Christ at last, a poem! Having crawled my way down these list of entries I thought I was never going to get to the land of art. But here I am, sitting among the words of this sombre ode of “fuck I hate this place” This is really good work and can only think of one other entry that would trouble the judge’s decision. Seriously good writing, thank you

    David


  • Heavens Child
    March 22, 2007

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    Vivid imagery, brilliantly done. I love how you have connected this with shame. It caused me to view it a different light. The first verse is incredible, when related to shame, "the stench of piss and shit decaying....clean and disinfect", stunning, a clear image of what shame feel like. Thank you for putting this entry in my contest.


  • Heavens Child
    March 20, 2007

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    The imagery and wording in this piece are excellent. Very well done. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • rollingzen
    March 16, 2007
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    also,the title 'wasteland' is too much associated with t.s.elliot to be effective


  • rollingzen
    March 16, 2007
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    'do not look too long into the abyss ,lest the abyss look into you' nietzsche

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