My body
a cuban cigar
how I lay lifeless
sensation stiffens
the soul's muscle
in stress pauses I exhale
within toxic waste
of lust
What romance you bestelled
rituals of bedtime lust
you deliver within my head
as you blessed
this sacred tombstone
of my womenhood
I lay a cuban cigar
From a serene flight
upon the landmark of your haven
I find wisdom
Your brightest touch
and I impressed it
as you leave me breathless
A used cuban cigar
You tripped upon peaks
of my nipples
how your tongue
speaks with the words
of a gentle stroke
as my breast lies,
a tree branch
escaped from your tree
of saphirre sensations
your fingers bathes
my sensative clit
that it weeps
in sullen cum
as you rock me in the
thinest bliss of true love
I lay a used cuban ciger
you smoked my lust
into the air of nevermore
"The sullen warmth
as if you pound my body
wherever I go
There comes the sullen warmth!!!!"
Restless like a cuban cigar
In a list
A contest entry
- Erotic Lovers by Just Mandiiee Now...
643 points, ended February 28, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me You Love Freedom, Liberals! by twilight seduction.
850 points, ended December 1, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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I loved it~ very good.
However, just a couple spelling errors!
14. womanhood
32. sapphire
34. sensitive
a tree branch
escaped from your tree
of sapphire sensations
LOVE THAT. My favorite part!
Best of luck
The reason why I chose to read this was because of the title; I've always wanted to smoke a Cuban cigar.
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metaphoric
Hello there, Aurielle.
I liked the metaphoric resonance in this poem. It's quite an impressive comparison you have made between your body and a cuban cigar. It's very ambitious, and that's wonderful to see.
Have a gr8 day,
BJ.
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Beautifully written with a great flow! I really enjoyed this! I also like the background you chose! great write! Thank you so much for entering! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!
-Steve- -
well this was defintly different than what i expected and was defintly different from most of what i read but it flowed well and was wll wwriteen keep writting your talented
~Chrissy~ -
I lay a used cuban ciger
you smoked my lust
into the air of nevermore
"The sullen warmth
as if you pound my body
wherever I go
Enjoyed how you compared the cuban cigar to a person very sensuous and sad. I felt bad for her yet she sounded like she had a very fun time. I had to read it twice I like how you use the imagery and words to get your point across. Very Good.
Thanks for reading my work and making the comments have a great day -
Sad and sensuous at the same time. Be careful of the words you use and their spelling –
“You triped upon peaks” tripe is the stomach lining of a ruminant animal, I believe you meant “tripped” (use your spell check, it makes life easier).
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good write. nicely done. thnx for entering my contest!!! <33-asmyworldcrashes
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This is a really good poem, though, please don't be discouraged with me asking for edits, I feel that I would want to place this poem, too!!
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ooo for real... what must I edit. I'm not sure of what
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Oh, I love this, I love it! You need to edit it a bit, leave me breathless (probably a typo), you tripped, Does sapphire have two r's, oh no, it's two pp's, , as fingers bath, a lot to edit here, I feel. The poem looks so good with this border and background.
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Smokin poem! Thanks for entering! The Tie Gu
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You did an excellent write in this poem. Great euphimisms and metaphors. How old are you?
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I'm 17 years old
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I am curious as how someone your age can write like this? It seems way above your years. Don't get me wrong, you write well. Also thank you for liking my poems.
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Perfect symbol
cigar afficianodo, cigar lover, love my cigar...cigar and love seem to go together so well ..then.. cuban cigar... the height of cigar love...
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excellent
you're one of the first poems i've read that kept the flow fully going through the poem. i commend you. this was an excellent peace. good luck in the contest ;] -
All I can say is....DAMN! This hot yo'. You gettin there.
"I lay a cuban ciger
you smoked my lust
into the air of nevermore"
"fingers bathed
my sensative clit
that it weeped
in sullen cum"
These are my favorite lines and I cannot even imagine how you came up with them. What goes on in that head of yours?
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Horny people, wow. She is horny, very horny. As your cigar push pollutes my sky of happiness, cancer grows inside of my heart, I am dead.
This is a nice write, keep up the great work horny girl. -
There's a hazy, vaporous feeling to this poem and I think it clearly depicts lovemaking in an unhurried way. The cuban cigar, which comes and goes in the poem is placed well and does add rythm and a kind of visual anchor to the poem by its repetiton. In my opinion, a well-worked piece and another angle on writing about lovemaking.
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The addiction of a Cuban Cigar is invigorating. A lust for the smoke of the cuban cigar. Bravo! BHolzner
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What a metaphor you used here - unusual, very unique. Watch cuban cigars being made once in a hotel on Varadero - how they were rolled and played with until the final product was finished. Looks as if you were played with until finished as well - satisfied at least! LOL
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thanks
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