I walk through streets I seem to know too well,
the sidewalks buckled up, creased like old skin
beneath my feet. Magnolias that should smell
like perfume have a scent something akin
to rotten fruit. Boughs, snarled like arteries,
lace through my view beneath a mottled sky
that hovers, as if riddled with disease.
It feels like home; I know it's all a lie!
I've never walked across this well-cut lawn,
so pockmarked with its scattered stepping-stones
(its grass, a mat I wipe my feet upon,
enfolding them like dead, decaying bones).
I've only been here, ever, in my dreams;
how is it that I know this New Orleans?
© MMVII
Author notes
Well, we all knew already that I'm an idiot.
This poem was written for Touchof1der's contest at http://allpoetry.com/contest/2340346. I received a notification of the contest (which is "by invitation only) and I mistook the notice for an invitation. It's been withdrawn, but the images she provided were so rich in inspiration that I can't stand to junk the poem. Please visit the contest-page and see what was offered...How many of the provided images can you see?
A contest entry
- Favorites (Invite Only) by Lj-.
600 points, ended August 29, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wow! I have relatives there! Katrina ate their houses!
It,way before Katrina, was such a spooky town!
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I really like the atmosphere.
Thank you for your entry,
Best of luck!
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Disturbing...
There was a hint of the half light fellini was so fond of that made me uncomfortable... I wanted to say a dream like quality but it was more nightmare than dream...I concur with your own synopsis - tight and graphic... I suspect the reader was meant to appreciate rather than 'enjoy' this piece. Didn't see you as a sonnet type of guy either to be honest...
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Most folks don't (see me as a "sonnet type of guy). Truth is, it was my first form...even the loosely structured rhyme&rhythm ballad style came later.
This one came about in one of my favorite ways...I was offered a list of words to use.
(I'm guessing that when you get to "Backtrail" and "an indecent proposal", we'll have got around to the sorta stuff you maybe expected from me. LOL)
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^_^
interesting.
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Oh wow I loved this poem..it was incredible. I have never wrote a sonnet before but have thought about it.
Well done.
AmunKama
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Wonderful as always. The end was a suprise because I didn't come to this via the contest page, but through the link in my "new by favorites" area. Long time no see, but as always, it was a pleasure. Lines 9-12 would be my favorites, but was grabbed by the "like old skin" portion as well. Take care you.
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Where you BEEN, Gal?!
Damn, it's nice to hear from you...thought about you just last night going through my colums and seeing the "AP Idol" listings. Glad to see you're still around.
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Amazing!
I must admit that this is some of the richest imagery that I have seen infused so completely in one poem in a long time. I wish you would have seen the original contest.
This would have won an awrd for sure. The "invitation only" contest was simply created to give additional rewards for entries in the original contest that were far too good to overlook and go unhonored. That is the only time I hold an invitation only contest, otherwise they are always open to everyone. I thought it was it was very interesting that you actually appointed a place for all these images, giving it an address if you will. This is going to stay within my mind for awhile now. Great job Eric. Thank you for making something out of words that would otherwise be scribbles within a crumpled old notebook. 
♥ Touchof1der
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I saw it, but was too wiped out to manage anything at the time. I'm still hoping that the short-story contest piece appeals to you...though I never much know what to do with points lately, anyway. I don't have the stamina for judging a contest anymore.
The imagery...well, it was all yours, anyway; I just laid out the lines. I'm glad you liked how it turned out.
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You are just as amazing in providing dark and creepy images as plesant ones! Reading this kind of made me ignore the sunshine outside and be caught up in the flow of this poem, and the eerie pictures that the words made me think of. I love it in a strange kind of way.
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I've done some dark stuff, now and then. The images for this one were all handed to me on a platter...all I had to do was place them in New Orleans and they lined up for me easy as pie.
I've been to New Orleans a thousand times in the pages of Ann Rice's novels...and I believe she is why I have these recurring dreams, because that woman can write! Her descriptive is so vivid I feel I could find my way through the Garden District in my sleep, could find Lestat's old house, and the place that housed the generations of Mayfair Witches, without need of a map or guide.
(The place I just took you was the the street and house where Merrick Mayfair grew up, where Great Nananne died...where the ghost of Claudia was conjured and did such cruel harm to Louis de Pointe du Lac.)
Someday, I'd like to go back...I've only been there once, in my youth, and didn't get to see much beyond Bourbon Street, my hotel, and the Mardis Gras. Left the next day. Unfortunately, Vicki isn't good with heat and humidity. Even Austin was too much for her, so Nawlin's doesn't look too likely.
If you want to see more "dark" stuff, I can direct you...they're fairly rare and scattered in my list. This one, though ( http://allpoetry.com/poem/661991 ) always tickled me a bit.
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