What is this feeling?
I feel love,
I feel goodness,
I feel strength,
I feel fear.
I feel truth,
I feel light.
The bad no longer affects me
Sadness and sorrow have passed away
And no longer linger over me,
No longer does it control me,
No longer am I alone,
I have peace I feel warmth.
I have life after death,
I do not fear death,
I do not feel alone,
I do not feel empty,
I feel whole,
I feel good.
Demons can not touch me,
They fear me and my fathers light.
They run from him and he protects me,
They can not harm him he loves me
And cares for me.
Angels stand by my fathers side
They know who he is
And I know him to.
He is not my physical father,
who is he?
I feel safe,
I feel strong
What is this I feel?
I feel my Father,
I feel Christ.
Author notes
My Father, my Lord, my Savior, my God.
what do you think?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I love it, every line it was wonderful thanx for sharing this with me
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This has a lot of feeling.
Seriously, you need to structure this differently. It is very difficult to read.
"What is this feeling?
I feel love, I feel goodness.
I feel strength, I feel fear.
I feel truth, I feel light.
The bad no longer affects me;
Sadness and sorrow have passed away
and no longer linger over me."
You get the picture. It will greatly enhance the readers journey. The sentiments are wonderful, and most can relate to them, if they stick around long enough to read it. Please consider revising the structure.
rou -
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o.k. I've finally picked up on the form and structure part, anyways I redid it so how is it now?
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Much better. Now, if you work on the grammar part of it: punctuation and capitalization.
"The bad no longer affects me;
sadness and sorrow have passed away
and no longer linger over me;
no longer does it control me.
No longer am I alone.
Demons can not touch me;
they fear me and my Father's light.
They run from Him and He protects me;
They can not harm Him, He loves me
and cares for me.
Angels stand by my Father's side;
they know who He is
and I know Him, too.
He is not my physical father.
Who is He?
I feel safe,
I feel strong."
I would like to point out that Jesus is not our Father, but rather our Brother. We are joint heirs with Jesus to our Father's throne. That would make us brothers.
This is shaping up into a very nice read. Do not give up.
rous
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Once again, the lack of form makes it difficult to pick up on the poetry. When He refers to God, it's capitalized. This poem has the potential to be powerful, but it seems to kind of ramble. It may just be the format, but I get this sense of someone rushing to spit out everything they have to say. Try to relax the pace and set a rhythm. Keep Writing, JB (James 1:27)
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mistakes
I think I fixed all the mistakes sorry a bought that people love you all. -
WELCOME TO ALLPOETRY!
I think you will find that there are alot of spiritual groups here that you may enjoy being a part of. I think that you did a good job with this. If I were you I may think about reformatting the piece a bit. That might make it a little easier for some to read. I am a greeter and wanted to welcome you to the site. Feel free to ask any questions.
Despair
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Good
A very warm welcome to AP, I hope you become an active member and enjoy your self here; it’s a great place to talk and expand yourself as a writer.
Your poem was very good, there were a few spelling and grammar errors but I enjoyed the content and the message that ‘we are not alone’, in this world of mundane societies rules by routine.
‘Girth is second only to intellect, in the writing of words’
Einst said that you only need to see and convey to be a poet but having an imagination and scope can make poets of anyone. That’s the great thing about poetry, anyone can do it and here at AP, everybody can…
Good Poem
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