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Chance Encounter.

You came in so quietly, different in how you stood.
You walked up right behind me, telling me I smelled so good.
You were so nervous, yet you never really said why.
You were so different, acting so close but so shy.
To the park we went; it had become our place.
We lay down together; your lips so close to my face.
You kept pulling me closer, and I was helpless to resist.
You made me feel so safe and like nothing else could exist.
You told me that you cared about me, with a few other choice words involved.
I didn’t know what to make of it; this had all just so suddenly evolved.
But you held me so close and I felt so warm.
Living in this moment was the eye of the storm.
You were so dangerously close and your eyes held a plan.
Avoid it I try: you’re my brother*, not a man.
We lay there together ‘til the sky grew dark.
Me in your arms ‘til they kicked us out of the park.
Back to your house, things quiet and nice.
We watched our cartoons together and didn’t think twice.
But in your arms I was found yet again.
Then you did something that made you more than a friend.
You looked in my eyes and placed your lips on mine.
Not anymore could I ignore the signs.
My friend and brother no more, but a man in my sight.
Your lips, soft like silk felt so right.
You held me in your arms and didn’t let me go.
Tucked away forever, the world need not know.
We lay there together, your face so close and calm.
This evening was so unexpected, dropped like an atomic bomb.
Together, so close in so many ways.
This moment is so peaceful; we both hope it stays.
Hold my hand as you drive me home.
Our hearts beat faster than any metronome.
My friend and brother no more, but a man in my sight.
Your lips, soft like silk felt so right.


*Once again, Brother is used as a loose term.

Author notes

Muffins Rule

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Comments


  • mantis180
    September 11, 2007

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    This is really beautiful, and sweet. in some places the wording seemed a bit halted, and awkward, but it is still a lovely piece.

    -Ashley

  • MadeleineElysse
    June 15, 2007

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    "You made me feel so safe and like nothing else could exist.
    You told me that you cared about me, with a few other choice words involved."
    "Then you did something that made you more than a friend.
    You looked in my eyes and placed your lips on mine.
    Not anymore could I ignore the signs.
    My friend and brother no more, but a man in my sight.
    Your lips, soft like silk felt so right. "
    -beautiful choice of words! this kind of reminds me of the first time i kissed my now-boyfriend
    he actually had a girlfriend at the time, whos now my best friend
    but he had liked me for a really long time

    this keeps making me think of that day, which was one of the days that made me happy enough to help pull me out of my yearlong bout of depression.

    youre a GREAT writer, keep it up!
    good luck in my contest!

    <33
    Muffin Girl


  • Wild Mustang
    June 1, 2007

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    I thought the wording was a bit awkward at parts. The flow was thrown off by the choice of wording in some areas as well. For example:

    My friend and brother no more, but a man in my sight.
    Your lips, soft like silk felt so right.

    I think it would flow better with the rest of the poem if it were:

    Friend and brother no more, but a man in new light.
    Your lips, soft like silk, against mine feel so right.

    Just a suggestion! Not a bad piece at all. It has a good message to it, as well. Good job.

    Unfortunately, you did not apply the rules of my contest to this piece (notes in your author's comments about why it's your favorite piece --- as the option you chose indicated as a requirement)... Since the contest is already over and I've put off ending it for awhile I cannot wait for you to perhaps change this. Please read the rules of contests you enter in the future to save time for the host and to save yourself trouble. Thank you. I wish you the best of luck in your future contests!

    ~ Wild


  • Zero the Hero silver member
    April 2, 2007

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    Wow great story and write, great imagery and feel and the "my freind and brother no more, but a man im sight" is a lovely line thank you