There was a man who sailed the seas,
and that really didn't mean much to me,
until I found where he had gone,
and the days were hot, and the nights were long.
And he felt as he stared,
at the open see,
a loneliness unknown,
by you and me.
He had left behind,
his family,
in a desperate need,
to be completely free.
Yet no matter where he went,
or sailed,
when the sea was rough,
and the cold moon pale,
he found as he moved,
through all of its strife,
that he needed his family,
his kids and his wife,
and I on the shore,
who suffered as well,
at least had some loved ones,
to share in my hell,
and as he moved quickly,
upon the sea's brine,
we both had our problems,
he had his, I had mine.
And though I love freedom,
which so matters to me,
to live all alone,
I was not meant to be.
I have noticed that all,
have their problems in life,
but I would never surrender,
my children and wife.
And my friend on the sea,
has his problems, as well.
No matter how you slice it,
we all go through some hell.
And I would much rather share,
all the problems and such,
with those that I care for,
and those that I love.
A contest entry
- Cheer my family up please. by PoetryPuppy.
525 points, ended February 23, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Awesome
Terrific philosophy, and I know exactly what you mean. It's much more than "misery loves company". It's knowing that, no matter how many problems you have, or how many false friends abandon or betray you, or how much of a rancid dungheap of despair life becomes, that at least one person on this earth (hopefully, more than one) - i.e., your wife and children, parents, etc. - really gives a shit about you. How awful it must be to suffer and have absolutely no shoulder to cry on when you need to.
I found the rhythm a bit off here and there but the message and strength of voice overrode them nicely.
Nice work, pal.
Mark
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Good work, oce...worthy sentiments, indeed. I see you know my chocolatier Friend. {waves at Marky L.} 
Well, the both of ya can relax & stop worryin'. I give a shit about ya. 
Sighhh...Rebel without a pause; that's me. 
Wanda
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Such sweet words, Wanda. I "give a shit" about you, too. hahaha One would think poets could come up with something more poetic . . . and fragrant! lol I should be ashamed, but somehow, I'm not.
Your chocolatier friend,
Marky Lark
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Superb/Inspirational
A very cool write about the importance of love, friendship and family. Very well written indeed, with excellant imagery and a smooth flow throughout. Oh, by the way, in line 6, I assume you meant "sea", instead of "see"?
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this was kinda sweet.... sort of. in a peculiar way.
i feel like a big doofus leaving you a one line comment when you left me a whole humongous paragraph, but i've got nothing intelligent to say, so i'll stop typing now. -
good job. enjoyed.
blu -
The meter does have a glitch or two but that doesn't detract from the overall sincerity and simplicity of the message. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
ps. Thanks for reading and commenting on my work. I do appreciate it very much. -
well done, a bit rough at times but for the most part flows well. I also like the message, very true
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I like the flow in this, the rhythm and the rhyme. Kind of a moral type write which gives one a good thought at the end. Easy to read and understand as well. And...not that long. LOL Thanks for commenting on bad words earlier...
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This is a nice message about the choices we make--none are perfect, but we make them based on what matters most to us. It has a nice flow and stands as a tribute to family. I like it.
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Thank you for your poem, love Kiarna xxxxx
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I rather like this--the flow is fine, it's uncomplicated and the message that no man is an island, although not new, is valuably reinforced.
Bill
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Thanks Bill. I actually wrote this for a contest that was aimed at helping a family deal with some tough times. I'll bet I didn't place. Oh well. What do you think? At least I like the poem! - oce
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