Hate
this is what i think hate is.
with an open nife
i'll cut you in a million Pisces.
if you were a open book.
it would be slammed.
if you were a fire.
i would not put you out.
if you were a tree.
i would not cut you down.
better yet.
i would make you suffer.
look at me i dare you.
just ones come on.
you don't dare do you.
whats wrong.
are you better then me.
am i to different from you.
do you hate me.
i would never hate you.
but come on whats life.
if i just let you die.
just stand there.
you'll die.
slow another.
maybe then you'll appreciate.
what stands right in front of you.
God knows you'll die.
A contest entry
- prewrites allowed !! what is the contest about ? by sweethelper.
300 points, ended February 19, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Personal experience is wonderful by live in love.
475 points, ended March 10, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and everything !! ( a truthwriter's contest ) by sweethelper.
300 points, ended April 22, 2007, 145 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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don't be upset, defeat the pain, before it defeat you
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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awesome
i really appreciate your talent of writing poetry .
i could feel the words , they were so intense and so emotional . some lines were just so eye catching and heart touching .
i thank you for entering this contest and best wishes .
your well wisher ,
-truthwriter- -
WOW that was brillant...very emotional i love it good luck and great job!!!
~Angel~ -
ok so to be really honest this made no sence to me and the grammer was bad and i just really don't think it has any rythem at all sry
thx anyway 4 entering
lil -
Great poem, the last eight lines seem to just finish off your feelings. When you havefeelings like this the last few lines are what you would like to do.
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Great
now you have it all perfect. Good Job!!!!!! -
interesting
Interesting. there were a couple of misspellings... mabee=maybe?? and i got confused with the "what stand right stands right" not sure if you meant to write that twice. Otherwise Very good poem and a great write.. Keep up the good work
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Intense!
Your last eight lines confuse the write. Otherwise a few misspellings you have a good poem. Actually, if the last eight lines could not be edited your poem has the best impact on your reader without the last eight lines ending with "I would never hate you" Try editing or deleting the last eight lines by just rereading the poem stopping at "I would never hate you" sincerely, Don Then your final decision I will rate with a new comment.
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