not knowing hurts

With every passing day my life recedes,
the unknown length of your time on this earth.
My life is my love,
the warmth of her soul has stayed me,
now I'm cold.
Love has faded,
as the sun fades the curtains in my grandmothers house,
years of pressure,
years of pain,
gradually fading, fading,
i cry in pain,
i sorrow for love,
will it return,
and will i be able to live?
The sun has frozen,
the depths of winter surround my heart,
yet close to me there is a warmth,
a tiny spark that can yet be kindled.
The uncertainty of not knowing whether that spark will grow,
or die under the crushing cold and chilling words of others,
i hold on for light,
i hold on for the day that the fire covers this earth,
the day of renewal,
the day of rest.