vagrant love
circumnavigates your listing heart
your frothy expressions
its wake,
visibly tangible
yet
lacking substance
destinations undefined
subtle trails dissipate
into nothingness
leaving behind
tranquil but desolate seas
that which may have been
vanished without a trace
betrayal of shadows past
cast the die,
a doctrine of unbelieving
from which your tools are forged
and still…
you yearn for that
which only you can deny
but choose instead
to aimlessly drift
in vagrant love
Copyright © Henri Ferguson 2003
Author notes
Some folks take to heart the expression “once burnt twice shy”, with respect to matters of love. And so they dance around entanglements, one foot in the other out there somewhere. Terrified of commitments and the potential disappointments therein, yet aching with a loneliness that is palpable, they set their vacant hearts adrift. I am reminded that I can only be their witness to this and view it all through a compassionate lens. Grist for my poetic mill.
Written June 20th, 2003
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Dammit man, you seem to have done it again! Bravo. Before I even read the explanation I had a list of all those over 30 I know who bear scars of a cast of characters on the run from failed relationships and the various states of disarray they have left the woundeds' hearts in, perhaps even leaving them intimacy and as you've said, commitmentphobes. Yes yes yes. I am living this when I hear others taking their injured wounded hearts back to the negotiations table of love and not even having the tools they need to love anymore. Sad.
Really something you are, Henri
(((hugs))) Sarah aka rhi -
As you say most people go to one and then to another, numb, not feeling just roaming...I roam within myself...I find comfort there...I gather all in each day...with joy...excitement...all by myself...it wonderful...the reality of a good relationship falls with where each person is in there life..you can almost feel it...if it will work or not...lol...me rattling on again...well, let me finish...the games played I choose to pass...watching on the side lines...knowing I feel safe were I am...ok..enough...I love this one too...thanks for your time..
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One of the best things about this site ( besides the endless
talent ) is the diversity of peoples views and experiences...
noting what shapes people by reading their individual work.
Much strength within this Henri...seems to express
( as many of your writes do ) a true desire to LIVE and
grasp at life and all it can offer...
As you so eloquently highlight , so many drift , never
truly giving of themselves...love is such a simple
concept , I think its just people who make it so complex by
shaping all it can be to suit themselves...or rejecting it
in entirety...
Beautiful write as ever.
~ sonia ~
Edited on Jun 22, 5:51 p.m. because ''. -
Excellent
Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote, "For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation..." -
I have been on both sides of the coin ... lost in bitterness (swearing to never offer my heart again) and I have traveled the roughest roads in search of the purity of love. I will attest the road which leads to love (while it may not be easy) has always been far more rewarding.
Seriously a great poem Henri - You got me thinking tonight (which I do appreciate). May fear never overtake this heart of mine as I search for what my soul desires.
Respectfully ~ Brian
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We should learn to love ourselves more, accept our needs and flaws..before we can understand how and who we love...I must admit, thinking about my past...the way I often chose to drift and soak my eyes with the pain of wanting (yet fearing)...love seemed sweeter...besides, I guess we cannot completely change the way we are inside of ourselves ...thanks, Maria
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'visibly tangible
yet
lacking substance'
Your description is most fitting and intriguing. Many people live in fear of repeating past mistakes and I used to be worried about taking risks, especially when dealing with love. As I've found the only way to receive is to give. Whatever happens after that becomes what it is.
~Angela -
Its difficult to keep opening up the same ol' spots, not knowing if they will be soothed and treated tenderly or if they will be gnashed and chewed up, making the scars bigger. But in my own eyes, i cannot conceive of not at least trying, because i have to believe that there are positive possibilities.. i have seen it work, i have seen good men that only want a good woman. Of course, I seem to be in the other line most of the time, but I keep trying to switch the queue i am in because I still believe in true love. I may still live in a fantasy world, who knows. I evidently did get something out of this, yes? lol Thank you for penning such things as this.
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Poetic wisdom
wounded beyond fragrance
four petals fold around loss
five petalled heart
A wise and compassionate write ...
Kindest Regards,
Myra -
The last stanza in particular really hit home.
"and still.....
you yearn for that
which only you can deny
but choose instead
to aimlessly drift
in vagrant love."
Easier, they feel, than risking love again...just as you said. This is a very poetic thought - vagrant love. Such an apt description. So beautifully worded. Thanks for sharing this thought.
Maddie -
ghost areas
yearning to be haunted
live in dandelions
or sweet clear liquids
rising from a musky earth
farewell to summer
some think..
tho I will be
In every living thing
In the world
Tonight....
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