She awoke one morning
Only to realize
That tears would build up
In her empty green eyes
She lay for half an hour
Each seconds filled with more fear
Not even sure why
The reason was unclear
She got up out of bed
Eyes puffy and sore
Struggled for a reason
To live on one day more
Headed straight for the fridge
Looking for what to eat
But she could see nothing
Instead she went to take a seat
Walking towards the next room
Can you guess what she saw?
Could this be her saviour?
Could her pain be no more?
She envisioned herself happy
With a great big grin
All from just one drink
Her new life would begin
Poured vodka in a glad
Mixed some orange juice too
Drink away some thoughts
It’s all that she could do
After a few glass’s
Her head was feeling funny
She couldn’t help but smile
‘Cause she felt kind of sunny
The she walked past a mirror
What a big mistake!
Hating what she saw
Feeling very fake
Walked into the toilet
Knelt down to the bowl
Shoved her fingers down her throat
Thinking this might make her whole
Trying so many times
But, no, she didn’t succeed
Yet another thing she failed
By now she wants to bleed
Walks toward the blade
But then she turned away
Instead goes to the computer
Maybe she live another day
She logs onto ‘All Poetry’
To see who is around
Asked for some help
Then ‘Locked Door’ was found
She told her how she felt
And felt she had to cut
But that she was determined
Not to slip up
She kept her mind busy
They spoke of what was wrong
How they both were hurting
And the power of a song
Now I must admit
Her day was far from through
Many more tears were shed
But it made her stronger too
I have something to confess
I feel it must be said
The girl I speak of; it was me!
But I’m glad I never bled
There’s much more to this story
But I must leave it there
The more I open up,
The harder it is to bare
Author notes
well this is a true story of my day about a week ago... hope you enjoyed the read
- Those That Write From Experience group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Alcohol by Lj-.
400 points, ended February 25, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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aww im sorry u felt like that....but its a good write anyway. i love the rhyming it flows wonderfully! i can relate to it too abit. hope everything gets better for u hunii!! x
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Aww, I am so sorry. It is good to let things out and confess things through poetry such as this. Though they say the eyes are the window to the soul, I believe poetry is another window to the soul as well. Very beautiful write. I can tell you have great talent. I also hope things get better as well. ^^
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wow thanks... i am glad you liked it. and yea i totally agree with you poetry is another window to your soul (as long as your right truethfully), thanks have been a bit better lately thanks
thanks for the comment and applause
much love
XoXoXoX
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Oh, dear... That is so sad! We all have our bad days, and I completely empathize with you. After all, I got into the binge-drinking as well, as I found it a good way of dealing with the pain. It helps, though, to write about it. After all, it puts your heart out there and releases the words that we may never speak. All the best to you!
God bless,
Laura
PS: Check out "Vodka Tears", one of my poems, for a similar sort of feeling. -
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Thanks for your comment. i will check out your poem.
i am sorry you deal with this too. for me its not really a regular thing, but i do think about drinking to let this go alot! but some bad thigns have happend to me while being drunk, so i rather do it alone you know?
anyways thanks for the comment
take care
XoXoXoX
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I'm glad you got this out chickie, I'm proud of you! I don't understand much with the drinking, but I can relate to the cutting and purging and self loathing .. If you ever need to talk or are in a space where you feel like doing something you might regret later then you know I'm always here for you. I don't, and never will, see it as a burden or resent you. Friends worry, help and love. And that's what I'm here for. If there's ever anything I can do, just let me know sweetie. I love you lots, you're awesome! xoxoxox
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you are so sweet, thank you so much sweetie!!! noing you are there, and that i trust you that youve been through and felt alot of things i have makes me more likely to turn to you.
you mean so much to me, and have helped me see alot. you have helped me grow and you have seen me through some tough times.
i love you heaps and thank you so much
take care
XoXoXoXoXoXoXoX
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Very cool, and true, inspiration. Hope everything is better. Nice write.
Thank you for entering,
Best of luck!
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it takes courage to open yourself up this way, and for that i applaud you. dark and sad, this poem pulls emotion from one in a wrenching, painful manner. marvelously done.
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wow thank you very much for the reply, im glad you liked it. althought it hurt me alot to open up that much and describe all of that, im ghlad i did because it helped me let out some of my feelings. anyways thanks again
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Wow! Poor girl...I feel bad. I wish I could take away your pain. Pain sucks....it just f*en sucks...But, on the bright side...another great write from you...
Keep up the writing!
*snap*
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PUUUUUUUUUPPET!
I love it, Mandi! It's so true and exposed but yet so dark and mysterious! My favorite part was when she found the drink and she didn't want to drink it but she did anyways and it only made her want to cut more! I know just how you feel, hun! I think I told you I sliped up a couple nights ago, right? Well, anyways! Please, if you ever need to talk, message me or call me any time, day or night. If I don't answer, I promise I will get back to you as soon as possible! I'm here to help!
~Love Alwayz and foreva~
~Tash~
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this is a really great poem I know that I felt like this too many days of my life to many times I woke up and wanted to die too many times I wished that it was all over too many times I did things to make myself thin because I hated my reflection and drank and cut and did everything I could think of to hurt myself and I hated life. I have days like this alot and I know that talking to someone can help alot just to hear that your not alone and that you can make it through the next 10 minutes if you just keep talking so I'm here if you ever feel like doing anything to yourself or just want to talk I am here always here for you. your never alone! never ever alone stay strong and keep writing you are amazing!
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Thanks for you comment, and all your help. just knowing that sombody is there who wont judge me and understands, and most of all accepts how i feel. if you need anything im am right here too. thank you so much! take care
XoXoXoXoX
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WOW !
This is an excellent piece of writting. Hope that as long as you keep spilling your feelings out on AP, you wont give in to the evil demon that keeps bugging you. The fact that you didn't bleed is a good sign that you are stronger than that demon who keeps calling you. Well done and keep on letting those feelings out
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Thanks for the comment... each day it gets harder not to give it, but then again each day i get that bit stronger to. and i no when im falling into the deamonds trap, that i have people around me to help me out. thanks XoXoX
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Don't ever forget that there are people who care so much. XXX
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