Aye, fond kiss and then... we sever?
Nay! Farewell shan't last forever.
For though far from my arms thou'll be,
Here I shall bide ever patiently.
Aye, thy kiss shall haunt my dreaming,
whilst my tears in want are streaming.
Yet what joy shall be... November,
when new flame embraces ember.
Aye, fond kiss, thy taste I'll miss thee,
When only thy letters reach me,
Yet my heart shall faithful linger.
Love but thee, and love forever.
Aye, fond friend, though distance bars us
from love that doth so sweetly bind us,
your return shall be redemption,
for this lass cursed by rejection.
Aye, fond love, the East doth summon,
return to me when battles won...
for faithful I shall here be waiting,
never this fair oath forsaking.
Now Brave Knight, The battle calls thee,
Return unto thy lady safely,
Where my arms shall greet thee kindly,
With a love that loves not blindly.
Aye, fond kiss and then...we sever?
Nay, true love doth love forever!
Author notes
Thanks go to Melodies fro her assistence in helping me edit the poem.
I was inspired by Robert Burns "aye fond kiss". He is my favorite author.
This is written in Honor of my Marine who will be returning to Iraq in October and shall be there until I know not when. He is my life my love my all, my husband.
A contest entry
- "make my heart swell" by second-born.
600 points, ended September 9, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Waiting and Being Faithful by Beautiful-N-Broken.
360 points, ended October 6, 2007, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Trophy PW by Rhythm Child.
400 points, ended October 22, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Beautiful, beautiful, and one more thing, oh yes, beautiful!
Absolutely incredible! I loved the use of Old English in the poem! I wouldn't be able to tell you which is my favorite part, because I loved it all, nor would I be able to suggest lines and words for you to change, because they are all so perfect. And Robert Burns is an awesome writer! Well done Arrianna! Thank you for a lovely read!
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This is an excellent write full of emotion and love.
I liked the use of old English verbiage in this poem and the rhyme makes the poem flow well.
Beautifully expressed.
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I'm not really fond of the use of old English - that's probably because English isn't my maternal language and I get confused too easily then
You have captured some tender and beautiful feelings within this one and I like that
thank you for entering the contest - I wish you all the best!
Leander -
These words are so true...
"Aye, thy kiss shall haunt my dreaming,
whilst my tears in want are streaming."
Great Write! Good luck with the contest -
This poem touches my heart in a way that only you can relate to. I hope that things go well and your Marine comes home safely to your arms.
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This is such a beautiful but sad outpouring of your feelings. I can see why you won gold with it. Words that come from the heart are always the truest and most sincere. My love and prayers to you and your Marine.
Margaret
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I was going to comment on the "old" and familiar style of this piece, until I read the Author's Notes. lol.
This is a good dedication piece, longing and loving but not overbearing nor losing it's focus. The choice of language used to reflect the style works really well.
Good write and congrats on gold.
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Wow…this is such a sweet tribute your special someone…the form reminded me of classical love poems by John Donne and Richard Lovelace among the few…may love shower you and your lover with eternal bliss…
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Aye, so lovely!!
Great write!! Love it so much..great emotions along with a nice flow
Thanks alot for entering my contest & Best of Luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
Very good I enjoyed it and love the use of language it's really well thought out and written
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this is sweet good job
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It feels, written on old parchment in a stone room lit only by candles - a worthy testament I would say, to focus and intent.
Much enjoyed, and well written.
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hey Abbigail!!!!
if i misspelt your name, sorry. We haven't met before, but my brother is Josiah. you write some good poetry, i liked the old english style, its dope. so maybe if you get time, we could trade reads and such, that would be peachy. KoRn Rocks.
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Devotion isn't a common thing...brilliantly expressed here.
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I liked your poem very much and the background only adds to how special your poem is. To honour your loved one in this way is very special and I am sure they will love it as they love you.
Good luck in the contest.
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Hello, Just a stopping to say I read your poem. Best of luck in the contest. Thank you for taking the time to enter our contest. We both appreciate your entry. You take care, Sandy
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I love your precious love poem!
All the knights of the realm and their fair ladies have assembled to pronounce thy poetry supremely FINE! Your handsome Marine should be very pleased to receive this beautiful message from his lady.
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This is beautiful! So sublime and rich and vivid... I love your wording, your flow, your inspiration... lovely, lovely write... best of luck with this incredible piece!
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