I swim
in fiery red cinders of
abandon
and sip sweet nectar
from the cerise center
of your bloom
tenderly tasting
with white cotton tongue
as I drown
in the cherry flavored vertigo
of your kiss
…breathless
~
Author notes
Mad Moon
In a list
A contest entry
- 48 Hours: Round One by deadcolor dreams.
600 points, ended February 20, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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first of all, that is one gorgeous picture of a flower ... I often use flowers in my own writing, as they show delicacy and fragrance without much effort ... this is a very nice poem with a power all its own ...
congratulations on receiving a HM trophy on this one ...
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this has quite a bit of power to it, but the ending's cliche bothered me a lot :( "...breathless", even "vertigo of your kiss". It was sooo good before that though :)
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Great write, I like "I swim in fiery red cinders of abandon and sip sweet nectar from the cerise center
of your bloom" it is beautiful. It is so different the way I write, that is a good thing, we all need to write originally, I loved it! Great flow!
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Very sweet, & very beautiful poem. All my love to you. I know from just a sheer glance at your page that you are a heartwarming person, I am very sorry for your loss. I know you will always find the comfort of love around you. You are a beautiful person.
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Oh my, this is indeed sweet nectar. Your poem is absolute poetry por excellente'
This could be as innocent as bee on a flower, or as subtly erotic as a romantic rendezvous.
A beautifully written piece, exceptional!
love and
Dee
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I am ashamed that I did not come to read this earlier--I knew it would be spectacular. (And I am always glad to immerse myself in your writings. This piece pulls me into the vertigo of a fiery, intimate sharing of affection...which, for me, goes far beyond kisses.) I love the spacing and breaking up of the poem...it gives pauses that are both timely and build anticipation. (That's one of the best things about writing love poems...which, we all know, I am no longer good at.) I am glad this placed in honorable mentions, but I think it deserved much better. Splendid write!
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora
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excellence is rare
there are so many sweet phrases in such a short write
you made me sigh too...that is the truest sign of exceptional poetry...an emotional response
wonderful
peace and hugs
Muddy
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Wonderful reds rendered here dear poet. very vivid and colorful! I love the metaphors and the graphic artwork. I am taken away with this one, almost left with no words. Maybe one; "Elegant"!
Congratulations on the Honorable Mention!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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wow
Sis, you always amaze me with the imagery you just throw around like nothing to it, painting beautiful sensations, and perfect picture poetry. I love you so much, and it's so nice to be able to stop by here at AP and read one of my favs. You really outdid yourself, short and sweet!
Keep up the great works, wonderful works indeed! Much love, brother Timothy
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I Loves Ya right back, my Sweet Brother! So happy to see you here, once again. I SO miss your shining light in these AP halls. I'm thrilled you enjoyed this offering, dear man. I'm on this short write kick right now...LOL! Much love and laughter to you, Brother-O-Mine!!
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This is a gorgeous vision... without saying what this lovely creature is, you have outdone yourself... The title is an excellent choice as well. "cherry flavored vertigo" is just stunning, the imagery is just beautiful sweetie! All the best the contest, a luscious piece, and no pun intented, lol! Love you! Annie
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My Sweet Annie...Thank you for, once again, honoring me with such kind words and high praises. I have to give the credit for "cherry flavored vertigo" to Onyxsoul. She provided some great lines to build off of, along with a good dose of inspiration. Thanks, again, dear one. I do so LOVE you!
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I love the images in this. There was also some great alliteration! I liked how you mentioned the colors more than once, without just saying red. I kept gettign a very 'red' vibe from your poem.
Great job, and good luck!
~Lindsay
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Ahhhh yes, red...the color of passion and lust. I've been on this 'kick' lately...LOL! So pleased you liked it, my friend. Loved the lines you provided, and had a hard time choosing. Hope it's what you were looking for. Thanks so much for the invite, and the inspiration, Lindsay! It was FUN!!
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