It's simply been two days,
simply
quietly
calmly
two whole days.
Yet you call it forever,
call it
name it
chant it
forever
So you want to end it
want to
ask to
say you
end it
You claim I'm not trusted
claim
complain
state
I'm not trusted
So watch as my body hangs limp
hangs
sways
dies
limp
You're cold deep down, in your heart
cold
chilling
frozen
down in your heart
Maybe, I'm better off without you
better off
completely lost
finally free
without you
I guess I'm saying we're over
over
done
gone
we are..
Our month of pure love
was fun while it lasted
I guess you're through
I guess the love passed us.
GoodBye
Don't tell me to stay
'but I love you'
you say.
Well
Fuck You.
You wanted it over
you wanted it done
now it is.
Good Bye
Author notes
-sigh-
I really really loved him..
and it kills me so much inside to lose him
A contest entry
- Tell Me The Truth. Did You Ever Love Me? by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended July 12, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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i love the way you wrote it!
very good and good luck in the contest! -
This was a good write, but I thought the swearing did actually ruin the impact of the ending.
Nice write.
Good luck to you and thank you for entering!
Lullaby.x.
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woah. this is very creative write. i am sorry you have lost a love, it must be incredibly painful as is conveyed through your words above. i really like this, very talented write. keep it up hun!
luvs
^+_+^
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I like it
I mean its a sad poem but I think im in love with it lol
I adore the way you elaborate on the different parts of the first sentence
IE
So watch as my body hangs limp
hangs
sways
dies
limp
Dont know how you thought that up, but it is good stuff
I like it
Keep at it
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the death of love..mirrors all the steps of loss..denial, sadness, disillusionment, anger..pain..why does it have to hurt so much?..this piece touches me personally.
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we all have went through this pain, and i know of from experince it hurts and suck. but i also know it doesn't last, we have to live our lives and there is a say, rejection is just another way of promotion, it is hard to get but what it means is that just cause were are pushed away by something or someone, there is a reason and that reason is that something better is on the way. keep it flowing
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