Aluminum whispers break through the skin
And candied hearts swear the promises you never could
[Until now]
Guitar strings are strummed by clumsy fingers
And even if only for today
--The choppy,high-pitched tune
Is breath taking;;
I would kiss your lips
And breathe in with such a force--
To taste the candied cough drops
Swelling at the pits of your beating heart
Carelessly tracing lifelines
In falling leaves
and mud.
_______I don't know the last time
I could look at dirt like this
But God,[in a time like this], the trembling grains
Make me feel
so much more
aLIEve.
Author notes
If it was the end of the world:
I would play the insturments I never learned, I would waste kisses like moments forever lost. I would explore lifes unseen beauty.
In a list
A contest entry
- [it's the end of the world.] by -foreverandever.
535 points, ended February 27, 2007, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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LOVE it!!
I love the detail and the vocab. It just flows really well!! Incredible job, Jane.
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ooh! congrats on the bronze katie!
=]
you deserve every recognition you can get & more. -
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Oh thanks babeh!
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ohh, this is stunning. i like the jagged sort of form, as if your mind is as chaotic as the world.
'And breathe in with such a force--
To taste the candied cough drops
Swelling at the pits of your beating heart
Carelessly tracing lifelines
In falling leaves
and mud.' - your imagery is sublime.
this is gorgeous, heart-wrenching, and the ending is really clever.
thank you for entering
& best of luck
♥ -
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Yay, I am glad you enjoyed it. hope you find exactly what you were looking for.
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I love your note ... yep, I would do that too
"To taste the candied cough drops
Swelling at the pits of your beating heart
Carelessly tracing lifelines
In falling leaves
and mud."
--you make a dirty sickness sound so beautiful. Oh you're good.
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this is just beautiful. it made me feel stripped down to my bones [but I mean that in a good way] like anything that was alive in me was was finally being exposed and pushed through the surface. and something [dare I say] beautiful would be molded.
loooooved this piece.
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Thanks<33 your comments appreciated.
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