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Summer in my Mind:

Missing image

Is the equivalent of a grand circus
that returns after a world tour
and is joyously greeted by all.

Is the distant drone of lawnmowers
besieging an enemy
that relents not.

Are the shrilled cries of children
running through lawn sprinklers
that unbeknownst to the mowers;
are aiding their foe.  

Is the intricate silken works of art
woven by spindly legged masters
whose ravenous needs
seem almost sinister.

Are the traveling troupes of
avian singers sharing their melodies
with any ear that will listen.

Is the alluring scent
of perfumed blossoming maidens
dressed in multicolored gowns,
coyly vying for our attention.

Is a divinely choreographed production
of life giving rain and radiant sunshine
performing together
with absolute perfection.

 

Author notes

I live in Alaska, so Summer is greatly appreciated here as I'm sure you can imagine .

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    June 8, 2008

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    Living in Alaska I can imagine how welcome summertime is.Your description of everything was well done.
    Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest

  • ea silver member
    August 3, 2007
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    Congrats!


  • Star Shine
    July 26, 2007
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    What a beautiful description and awesome metaphor for the, as you said, long-awaited summer. Where I live we have so much cold nd rainy weather that summer brings such rejoincing! And for the many reasons you described. Well done. Thanks for the entry.


  • tinuelena
    June 20, 2007
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    Would you consider getting rid of the semicolons? I think they make the phrasing awkward. They create very long pauses in the middle of sentences, where pauses are usually not placed. Intentional?

    It's your art, only my suggestion. I like the ideas and words, though.

    Elizabeth


  • Heavenly Angel gold member
    June 5, 2007
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    Very well done! Thank you so much for being a part of the contest!


  • Northern Raven
    June 3, 2007

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    Summer was in your mind when you wrote this and was certainly very firmly placed in to mine after reading this poem.

    The levity in this piece of work inspires a feeling of interaction where the reader, (me in this case) wants to talk back to you and let you know what my summer days are like in return. Reading this poem tonight serves only to remind me how glorious my day has been in the summer sunshine. The third stanza made me smile as I thought of the lawnmower and the sprinkler being enemies as this is an idea that I suspect is not often thought about and this image brings life to the inanimate objects, thus enhancing and reinforcing the whole work.

    I think you see nature in a very artistic manner and this comes across very well in your lines. Though they are short each one illustrates an image of its own which adds to the over all canvas, which is your beautiful garden. I particularly like the penultimate stanza which gave me the impression of a warm summer breeze giving movement to the flowers, and once again, life to the scene.

    The last stanza draws the others together to conclude the work in a very commendable manner and overall I have thoroughly enjoyed my visit to your page. The flow is creditable and the subject matter is one that the majority of people will relate to.

    Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.

    Northern Raven


  • elemental angel
    February 18, 2007

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    Beautiful imagery, I can't wait for summer and there's nothing better than summer rain mmmmm. Thank you so much for entering and good luck in my contest

1 - 7 of 7