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An Ode to Teddy





Teddy Bear, in bright red twas gently clad.
Meeting at Mart. Friendship was had and brew.
Were together then, and together glad.
Happily brought up, together we grew.

Batter mine heart fluffed precious Teddy.
For your sweet glare comforts my dreary day.
My walk from year one, to twenty steady.
my help? I always have you for display.

Kleenex and tears. United and agree.
Through strange and weird, the adolescent phase.
Together, one the same. We're on a spree.
Broken friendships today, always amaze.



Author notes

By RIP Whoever. turned 12


The English (Shakespearian) Sonnet (Form instruction by JM Kenyon, and a Answers.com search for iambic pentameter.)

since i'm a first timer i donno if i even got the concept right. and since i have no family that would know more then i do...
ehem, anyways. if there's a point of the sonnet form that i'm missing or something, i won't be crushed if you point it out

NOTE: i'm not 20

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Teddibly Abnormal
    February 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    damn you're good!
    wow... i never even tried the sonnet. too scarry.


  • risewiththesmoke
    February 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is really good, especially for a first-time sonnet. great job, and thanks for entering the contest!!


  • leander Moderators member
    February 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ooh, sonnet I think you've done pretty good with this one, and you managed to stay out of the cliched box so kudos for that well written


  • Aurielle
    February 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Teddy Bear, in bright red twas gently clad.

    you write very good i though the topic of teddybear would only have you to wirte cliche
    like teddybare you always care" lol

    but you suprised my mind keep writn


  • Child of an Angel
    February 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    13 and under, this is really good. What a wonderful write. Yo have amazing skills at your age and i see a promise of goodness in your writing, IT should be fun to see where the pen leads you. Great job, and good luck!

    Always
    Emily


    • RIP Whoever
      February 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks i edited it just now, and i think it flows a bit smoother. if you want to check it.


  • Powered by Tofu
    February 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    awww

    aww, how sweet! i love this poem, it's adorable! teddy bears are so cute. good luck in the contest!
    --gooshawn


  • Chihuahua Chick
    February 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Aww so sweet. Sounds just like me and my favorite stuffed animal i've had since kindergarten. It seems like that is the only thing we can come to for anything.


  • CountryCousin
    February 20, 2007

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    I liked it.

    Ah the noble Teddy Bear and you made it come to life in this poem so I think you have a winner. It was lovely to read. This reminds me of childhood and the things we love.

  • piccola silver member
    February 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I'm struggling with the sonnet too...Seems I either can't get the hang of the rhyme scheme, or my count of syllables is off. Be very proud of yourself for even trying. I'm afraid...verrrry afraid.


  • k2vet
    February 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love it! that is so cute. Lovely language and the rhyming is really sweet. Well done a really sweet and gentle poem :


  • Tangled Angle
    February 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Awwwww


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    February 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I have to admit sonnets are not my strong point at all But this is a beautifully done ode to teddy. I really enjoyed it


  • Inside and out
    February 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    To have the gift of writing your thoughts and feelings down this well is a blessing...to have this ability at such a young age is outstanding! Well done dear poet. Your poem is lovely.

1 - 14 of 14