looking up into two,
too-water-blue,
reflecting my own
that don't have description,
I begged.
"darling,
will you tell me please?
what is the saddest color?"
.
.
.
you gathered me close-
all-knowing-you,
then whispered to my teeth and throat.
"it's a secret,"
you said,
"but you're very close to figuring it out."
dumfounded,
confused,
I returned the kiss to this-
or my-
water angel;
and then,
I knew the answer.
Author notes
carcrashhumor
[i was trying to find one you hadn't commented on! ]
In a list
A contest entry
- Paint Me A Picture by April Storm.
450 points, ended March 8, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Unusual... by me-for-eternity.
465 points, ended March 13, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
yes, my love?
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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love it definitely in finalist list
me-for-eternity -
definitely unusual, and obviously unique to you, what was your inspiration? best of luck in my contest
me-for-eternity
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have fun judging! =]]
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this is really unique. i like it
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thanks!! <3
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I like this. The first stanza is amazing, and the rest of the poem held my attention right to the last word. Great job! Keep it up. I always love your work.
♥ Sam -
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thanks so much! =]
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"darling,
will you tell me please?
what is the saddest color?"
i don't know why. but that line made me feel very sad.
[you are amazing.] -
Red.
What is all this about sad and happy colors, eh? I'm lost. Great write....I pictured a tear drop
"looking up into two,
too-water-blue,
reflecting my own"
Maybe I'm reading wrong, but this part makes me sad, like crying...
-Luc
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haha, don't know why I was thinking of that really.
the "looking up into two,
too-water-blue,
reflecting my own" part is about both a tear drop, and his eyes. they're really blue and mine don't even have a set color. they change, and it's hard to define. so yeup.
anyways,
thanks for reading Luc!
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nah, blue and yellow compliment each other
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"you gathered me close-
all-knowing-you,
then whispered to my teeth and throat.
"it's a secret,""
--love the title and how it was used in the poem is great too. This is an interesting question you've come up with. I may try and answer this through a poem sometime heh, oh you, getting me thinkin'
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lol, well I'm glad to get you thinking because then I get to read some amazing poetry! =]]]]
[so really, I'm just selfish ♥ ]
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great poetry. the dialogue style (i love it), pulling the readers into the action and then leaving them with a riddle which they can/should solve – each in their own way as each is a different entity and this is what poetry is all about: satisfying each in their own way without them being even aware of it. this is a beautiful love poem.
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i can't stop staring
can't stop thinking.
this = being able to finally sleep after days of heavy eyes and aching bones.
in other words, it is absolutely.. remarkable.
i hate how i run out of adjectives like that.
but a perfect piece and oh, so perfect words
x
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thanks so much!! =]
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dumfounded,
confused,
I returned the kiss to this-
or my-
water angel;
and then,
I knew the answer. -
Beautifully original<333 Loved every bit, especially the ending:
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thanks kat
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I agree.
and I like that you represented the happy color in a kiss from someone you love.
that was beautiful, clever, and creative.
you're an amazing writer doll.
you never cease to blow me away.
♥
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oh,oh,oh,oh,oh;;;;
can I be your barbie??? -
thanks kenDOLL. =]
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art
Hey this is awesome!! Like a snippet of a story kinda. Just dives right in and doesnt stop. I love how you took such a unique approach to something that can be usually "cliche" Much enjoyed the read!
_nOva
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thanks n0va, I really appreciate that coming from you =]]]
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wow this was brilliant i mean that was reall good. [i liked the way you broken the stanza up; it really gave the poem a more dynamic effect] i like it
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aw, thank you pretty girl! =]
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great
great imagination,lot of imagery. I loved it. Can you give me feedback on my poem I can only be me.
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thanks for the comment! yeah, I'll check it out right now =]
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