As I gaze across
The Black Cross Fields
My arm loses the strength
To carry my sword
These images haunt my
Ever-sleepless nights
I place a black rose
On every grave
I stumble back as
Sadness eclipses rage
And I hear once again
The screams of pain
All I ever feel is pain
Nothing will ever be the same
This tainted ground holds
The dreams of millions gone cold
Lost as a million hearts break
Knocking now on Hell’s black gates
As I gaze across
The Black Cross Fields
My arm looses the strength
To carry my sword
These images haunt my
Ever-sleepless nights
All I ever feel is pain
Nothing will ever be the same
This tainted ground holds
The dreams of millions gone cold
Lost as a million hearts break
Knocking now on Hell’s black gates
I guess what they say is true
The angels fall first
But I can avenge them
And this is my vow
Every breath I take
From here ‘til my dying day
Will be devoted to
Redeeming their souls
All I ever feel is pain
Nothing will ever be the same
This tainted ground holds
The dreams of millions gone cold
Lost as a million hearts break
Knocking now on Hell’s black gates
A contest entry
- Deep Dark Thoughts by Abstract Image.
330 points, ended August 11, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write about almost anything you want. by TheDevilInYourHead.
430 points, ended August 23, 2007, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter your favorite poem that has no trophies by whispernthedark.
490 points, ended April 5, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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3rd line should be loses....great write thank you for entering
good luck
♥
whisper
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wow this was a really goo poem/song it spoke to me in ways some others don't...good luck
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A well written piece here
Very deep and somewhat true tale here and to me its as though the men who remains standing feels the fury for revenge and in doing so deep down feels hell is his reward .
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Nicley Done!
I was really in the moment . I could only read it till the end. I felt the pain ,the sadness,envisioned the gates of hell. very well done. Thank you for sharing. Peace Blut Rot
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Very dark and wonderfully written. This had a melodic feel to me and could be used as lyrics. The repetition was what really made this piece flow for me.
As I gaze across
The Black Cross Fields
My arm looses the strength
To carry my sword
These images haunt my
Ever-sleepless nights
I place a black rose
On every grave
I stumble back as
Sadness eclipses rage
And I hear once again
The screams of pain
These beginning stanzas caught me, held me and folded me into the words. Excellent!
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Wow. 0.o Really great work on this poem. the darkness and despair that the main character feels is really tangible and well expressed. Also, I liked the name that you gave to the field, even without description of it, that name alone sets the tone for the whole piece, and makes the atmosphere that you go on to describe vivid from the very begining. Your repitition is really good too. Really good job!
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This is dark and vivd. I like the personal touch to the poem(Black Cross Fields) instead of just simply calling it the field. The ending sums up the poem well.
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Bold and Brilliant
Well done bro, some of your finest to date. It has a great conviction that really drives the piece home, in short excellent write.
Sanguineously yours,
Crimson Poet
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excellent
with the lines repeating now and then and the words flowing well... i must say this is the best one i read today !! the title rocked and the poem rocked even more !!
i loved this piece of write and i must mention the lines i loved most -
"The Black Cross Fields
My arm looses the strength
To carry my sword
These images haunt my
Ever-sleepless nights"
hope you be the best in whatever you do ,
your well wisher ,
Truthwriter
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