and this is where
we part
wings
flap and take off;
we are afraid of sundays
the long of
morning to night
searching to insert
something
more
than mere mundanity
but we sit, separate
easing toward
all we didn't
think would happen
suffocated
by overstuffing
in the plaid matched set
of someone else's
discarded Country Living home
wish
for Mondays;
clutter
of time
and the way
we breathe
when we're apart--
there are apples
rotted
beneath the crust,
flowers bought
as an after-thought
wilting above
me
what signifies love
more
than its death?
Author notes
silence and how a girl deals with its possiblities
.
"The Silence Phase" yeah, I know I keep beating this horse, but I will until I'm satisfied with it. Deal.
***
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
This one is heavy duty. Wow! That last stanza is full of power but the whole poem leads up to it with a tight labored breath. I like the line "afraid of Sundays" because it is full of so much meaning in so few words.
-
As far as poetry goes the apple pie syndrome is excellent - it is central and a perfect theme - what's in between the crusts of morning and night - the emptiness of everyday life - Sundays filled with a chance for renewal - no lemon merange here - year after year - love never dies. The plaid couches - so personal - put back in perspective - pushed away - all is vain - what is personal - flowers? No. We part wings is a troubling phrase - wings part not for two but one bird as it takes flight. The poem focuses on the we in the present in flight.
-
-
I love your comments. They really dig deep into the poem. They're great!
-
-
Amazing
So emotional and real is this write...
Makes me lose my breath...
Amazing to say the lease...
pain makes beautiful poetry....
Lynda
-
-
-
Very good...you are always great.
-
-
-
awesome, love it.
Criticals..
I didn't like the repeat of part|depart in the beginning..
yup, that's it
what is it about apples that makes them so poetic I love them.. wether they are full and ripe, like boobies.. or rotten..
I always think of the evils of women we are such wonderful creatures
so- i have a lot of catching up methinks.
The ending stanza~~ I can't decide if i like it or not.. it's great.. but. i don't know.
not sure.
but it's aweseomeness
ilys
-
once again you astound and touch me with your words... are you getting better at writing or am i getting better at reading?
seriously this brought to my last marriage and its' slowwwww death. phrases like 'flowers bought as an after-thought' and 'we are afraid of sundays' signify ending to me.
i can't praise this enough and if i continue i'll just ramble... so three claps for you
and for me... i get to put this in my list of favorites by AP poets 
peace to you
-
get it out girl... the phase ends when it ends and if during you create work like this then so be it
-
Wow. This is a really sad sounding poem but it's really good too. I liked how it was spaced out and everything. I thought that it helped the flow. And the way that you wrote it, I could see it and know how that woman felt for a few moments. I think that's pretty good writing and that you did a great job in expressing yourself.
-
i could swear i put three clappy guys for u
-
beat it all you want - who is anyone to tell you to stop before you're satisfied... and when you've beat the flesh off... get something stronger so that you can crush the bones until it all just vaporizes and leaves you at last satisfied...
-
.
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
