You never loved me
So why lie and say you do
In the end it's not going to hurt you
But it's going to kill me
Why get my hopes up
When I know they are going to be shattered
Why dream things can happen
When I know damn well they can't
Why waste the breath to ask questions
When the answers are going to be all lies
Why say you love me
When you just want to fuck me
You keep breaking my heart
Ask me why the fuck I let you
I'll tell you
It's 'cause I still fucking love you!
Call me insane
Call me stupid
But no matter what I do
My heart is all for you
I'm tired of this pain
Of the lies you tell me
Tonight is my last
Tomorrow never to see
The sun no longer will shine on me
The moon never to comfort me
My family never able to depend on me again
And I will never know the true meaning of
"I love you"
All because I let you kill me with your lies
'Cause I believed you actually loved me
When all you wanted was to fuck me
When all I was, was revenge
You killed me with your selfishness
You used me to get back
At your past
Not even caring how I felt
It's your fault
I take my razor
And cut my life away
I believed you loved me
And this is what it came down to
My suicide
Author notes
"brokenheart" Loveaswellashate
A contest entry
- Hmmm... by AkaBaki.
600 points, ended February 17, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and Depressing #2 by XHollowXEyesX.
750 points, ended June 18, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartbeak!! options. by xlilliexdiesx.
340 points, ended July 21, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quick Pre-write Contest by Nicole Hanna.
300 points, ended July 9, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Pain...Make Me Cry and Feel the Pain by MusicMattnessLives.
375 points, ended March 3, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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okay. i'll adimit it. i teared up. i have friends going through similar and i completely feel for them. i know how it hurts. good luck and good write.
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Hmm...depressing, deep. A few things to change here and there. No WOW, but really nice. Potential. 7/10. Good job.
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i give you a 5 this was ok i hope you pick up your writing game in the next round if lady bug moves you alone i trust her judgement but this is ok
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4 out of 10
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Hmmm I have to agree. Poems like these are a dime a dozen and you have to get very creative and dig very deep in order to make it stand out above the others. Though there are some nice expressions and visualizations in here, it is just all too common. Lacking uniqueness. I rate this 3/10.
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To be honest, I thought it was a pretty cookie-cutter write. It jut seemed too cliche to be real, if you want to know the truth; like something straight from an Evanescence album. I can tell you worked on this, it just was pretty ordinary to me. I give it a three out of ten, sorry.
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You really brought the emotions out and wrote this in a clever way. I like it a lot. I give this a 6 out 10
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This is very sad. It's always sad to see someone driving to drastic measures over a relationship. Because, I'll be the first to tell you, no one in the world is worth that kind of sacrifice. It's one thing to offer yourself up to save someone else, but to offer yourself up because of the pain someone caused, just lets them know they've won. Thanks for entering. this was intense.
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wow i like this thanks for the amazong entry
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wow this is an awesome write. There is so much depth and power within it.the whole piece flowed beautifully and fitted perectly together. I especially love the lines 'Call me insane
Call me stupid
But no matter what I do
My heart is all for you
I'm tired of this pain
Of the lies you tell me
Tonight is my last
Tomorrow never to see'
they reallygot to me, unique and powerful
great work.
thanks for entering and goodlcuk -
this was a really powerful write..i can really relate to this poem and it flowed really well keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest..
~Chrissy~ -
Damn!
This was an excellent write! The lines "Tonight is my last/ Tomorrow never to see" that really hit me. I hate the way so many people lie like this, saying one thing, believeing another. As you so perfectly said in this poem it's a selfish act, they care about no-one else, only themselves. You penned this beautifully, Expressing the real truth about such people as these! Good luck in the contest and bravo to you for such an awesome fucking poem!
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Great work!
I liked this poem. i feel the same way sometimes. great write. keep it up. wacha-wacha.
-AkaBaki -
Wow
My lil dark kitty, so dark, so powerful in tapping into that emotion. I'm impressed! For one who claims to not know of love you describe the pitfalls so very deeply and well here.
"When all I was, was revenge" that spells it out profoudly in ways you can't even imagine. Well maybe you can after I see what you've written here. The feeling is conveyed so strongly. I love this one.
On a side note though, no man is worth ending your life over. Don't you ever follow something like this through.
*Get's the "bad kitty" water bottle and gets ready to squirt you* I mean that!
Loves and
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Hey James.. thanx for the comment.. im glad you liked this poem.. and trust me.. ill be a good kitty.. no water squrting here.. lol well ill talk to you laters!
Loves yas! *hugs* -
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Yeah you better be a good Kitty! *points squirt bottle at you*
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i love you. plz dont leave me..... think of how i'll feel if u leave me. if u go, then i'll be right behind you. i promise you that. so please dont take the chances and hurt yourself. theres more assholes out there that you'll meet like that whom will make you fall in love eith them or say they love you, and then break your heart and not giving a shit. i'm sorry you had to meet one of those. i love the poem thoi!!
if u ever need some to ACTUALLY talk to me, you know i'm here for ya. if u need anything and i'm not online, then call me. : 1-520-294-5746 and ask for krystal. ok??
loves... *hugs*
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