A shadow in the night
The dark soul of your delight
You see me each day
Your glances always come my way
This night I come to you
Whispering things I've longed to do
To do things to you that you'd adore
And to make you wanting more and more
My finger caresses your skin
Slowly you let me win
You turn and look into my eye
Now you can't look away and you don't know why
Fear begins to fill your veins
Knowing now that you will feel pain
Now on your neck, you can feel my breath
Knowing that I will be your death
I bite deep and draw blood
Soon it begins to flow like a flood
Soon you begin to fall
Wishing you could call
I drain you of every drop
And even then I don't stop
Finally I release you and walk into the night
Your eyes still full of fright
You lay there in the street dead
Soon, a coffin will be you bed
The people burn you on a fire
Knowing that soon you too will be a vampire.
A contest entry
- Vampires and Blood! by okadadokie.
500 points, ended February 23, 2007, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Frighten me, Give me nightmares, Make me see things! by Forlorn Dreams.
440 points, ended May 27, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
i love vampires, and this was great. good luck and thanks for entering!
~Kelcey -
Perfect! Simply stellar write. I loved it. The rhyming, your words, everything. Great job. Good luck.
~Oka
-
Excellent :D
Awesomely done man!
It's very descriptive, and I can totally see what's going on. There are no awkward parts, but lines 19 and 20 seem a tad short compared to the others. I love the second line in the last stanza though, it's just like, I dunno, I just like it a lot.
Besides the fact that I adore vampire poetry, I think you did a VERY nice job on this, and it's got a great flow going on. I'd love to see more work like this from you!
-
ah, such words for things such as these. You're crafty with your descriptions. I like that, as I do this wonderful piece of art.
Shade
-
Wow, this was very scary, but I absolutely enjoyed this! Hope you don't mind me bookmarking this so I can pour over it later!!!
Peace out!
Cassie
-
yummy sexy mmm
-
SWEET!!!!
Gotta love Vampire Poetry! This one friggin ROX love i adore it!!! I love the imagry and the cold feeling i get when i read it. sends shivers down my spine lol LOVE IT
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
