One night
I wouldn't mind one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though
They weren't so great
Just rememmber
She tasted like you
Only sweeter
And is just is much better
They say
That we think
Souly in the form
Of crunching numbers
But if that were true
I wouldn't have gone out
With you
You are zero to me
And she's number one
From outside of your window
We met eyes
And I showed her to you
And kissed her
Right in front of you
They say
That we think
Souly in the form
Of crunching numbers
But if that were true
I wouldn't have gone out
With you
You are zero to me
And she's number one
Just rememmber
She tasted like you
Only sweeter
And is just so much better
Author notes
Someone told me that part of this is from Fall Out Boy but if this is in their CD. I haven't heard it.
I over heard a guy at school bragging about how he broke up with his girlfriend. The other guy was laughing so hard. He broke up with her by kissing her sister, that just happened to have a crush on him.
I spit in his face, both of them. One guy for the act, the other one for finding it humorous.
I find this to be an injustice of any guy to break up with a girl like this. A break up should be honest and for benifit rather than "I got tired of her".
This is why, I write about this. And evil injustice. It disgusts me!
In a list
A contest entry
- Do You Deserve To Be In My Favorites? by Random Lily.
300 points, ended February 25, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Being Lied To In Love by shysky.
450 points, ended April 21, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything. by Sonofdead.
800 points, ended June 26, 2007, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
wow...assholes
wow i would kick both their asses...seriously i would...despite how small everyone says i am...i'm a bitchy fighter...well maybe because i fight very very dirty...hehe..yah..awesome poem i loved it,
my favorite part would have to be:
They say
That we think
Souly in the form
Of crunching numbers
But if that were true
I wouldn't have gone out
With you
You are zero to me
And she's number one
Just rememmber
She tasted like you
Only sweeter
And is just so much better
awesomeness poem
keep writing
~Ashley~<3 -
This was fantastic. You showed that cruelty is a way of life and yet in your notes said that you despise those who treat others cruely. I love it, thank you
-
-
no.
Thank you for the comment. I love it when people notice the deeper meaning. Even though you didn't see the hidden meaning in the poem itself, you saw the second one in the notes.
And I'm so glad to hear that you liked it.
Hope this is a good contest and good luck judging.
-
-
wow, this is one cruel poem, and it sounded like you yourself felt this way - I am so glad you are just writing ABOUT it! It shows your character that you would care about these types of injustices- and I can't believe you articulated it so well. My plan was to come to the comments section, and say, 'this is just plain cruelty.' I am glad you aren't the cruel one- but it's sad that even amongst adults cruel people like this exist....I used to think it must be a HS thing, but it's not. I hoep you get a lot of readers.
-
Very Good
I understand where you are coming from. The same thing happened at my school and I almost kicked the guys butt. This is very very true and I wish all people see it like you do. Good job -
Touching
This was painfully beautiful.
I'm hoping that I never have to feel the pain that this girl had to go through, it sounds awful, and I can't imagine what it must feel like.
I'm glad to see that you didn't laugh like the other guy did, you have a heart, unlike those two.
I'm happy to see a guy who's different from the others, any girl is lucky to have you
Good job, and good luck!
♥ Lacey
-
-
you'd think that any girl is lucky to have me
but rather most of them fear me, for not being like a normal guy. For being pure, excluding my past.
-
-
This is a very interesting and original write. The bitter pain and irony in this is palpable, and the hurt of the one who your speaker speaks to can almost be felt, even though we can't feel her reaction. Intriguing indeed. Good job and good luck in the contest!
-
oh wow. i really like this write. "souly," you are giving it a double meaning, right? like "soul" and "solely," right? it's really a very fantastic write. i can't help but ce completely moved by it.
the "crunching numbers" just makes me think of how society's been dehumanized and turned into machines.
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
