as time has come and gone, I wish to know
my abstract goals, what I want life to be
engaged in thought, my mind turns over slow
reality and want tug to and fro
and I am watching ever carefully
as destiny reveals what paths will show
leaving behind deep footprints in the snow
laughing at all the criss-crosses I see
all becomes clear, it's time for me to grow
never before have I seen such winds blow
keenly I sense the time is now for me
reminded of the stalking of time's flow
if I should aim true, what will time bestow
supposing I survive this jeopardy
to be the star, or maybe miss the show
I look upon my shadow down below
now knowing he will point the way for me
always away I walk for now I know
position of the light, where I must go
Author notes
Allan Emery
In a list
A contest entry
- A contest for villanelles. by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended May 15, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Beauty of a Villanelle by CitrineSunrise.
900 points, ended September 1, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 56 of 56
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I noticed in your comments that you said this follows the rhyme scheme of the villanelle perfectly. Yes it does rhyme correctly, but the capitalization in a rhyme scheme means that the line must be exactly as first written (a refrain). The imagery was lovely and I loved the concluding stanza. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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Engaging and thoughtful poem, acrostic, musing. Nice. But it doesn't have the repetions of a classic villanelle - is this a different form? Is there more than one way of presenting a villanelle?
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This follows the rhyme scheme of a villanelle perfectly:
AbA abA abA abA abA abAA
it is, however, impossible to do an acrostic using the repeating lines, so indeed this is a hybrid. Good catch.
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Please place your name in the author's box since this is a prewritten poem. I am allowing pre-writes only if the poet submits an original entry also. Thank you, Liz
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Very good poem and acrostic, I really like this stanza its time for me to grow too! leaving behind deep footprints in the snow
laughing at all the criss-crosses I see
all becomes clear, it's time for me to grow...... love your style. Vickie -
one of your most endearing qualities, I think, is the fact that you are a man filled with not only humor and laughter, but a deep sense of love and "light." I simply want to put my arms around you and hug you right now...this is a beautiful poem.
I wanted to read this again...
Lane -
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The line forms three blocks down, right over by the McDonalds. If you get there soon you should be able to hug me by 2 or 3 this afternoon, if you can haul yourself away from your own line long enough...
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Truly Speechless...
Take my hand, dear friend, I'll walk with you...
This was truly a brilliant write, and it made me ponder.
One cannot just wait for things to happen, but one has to make it happen sometimes, otherwise you'll get stuck in a circle, that has no end.
I loved this...
Elmarie -
I walk along
God speed. My friend this is a wonderful expression.
I think the key is to always no matter what keep that awareness about everything to get you through.
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What a thought provoking poem. You did the acrostic beautifully, but it's the sentiment of the message that really settled around me. I have felt the crossroads, and time as of the essence, but not the directions given so clearly as you've penned. You touch on the spirit of what eyes and ears do not know. ~ K
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crisscross
crystal clear darkness and light blinding white
and yet we see it as the same
and now I know
Well done
B D
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You are penning my thoughts with this one...at least very similar musings. The older I get the older old gets, but time is oblivious to my protests.
Such thouthful perpestive on crossroads and dreams in a very well-penned poem! 
~ K
I didn't realize this was and acrostic, too. Fabulously done!
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Allan this piece is wonderful ,the way you look at things and at life is truly unique... well written piece here
love
J -
this taps
at the heart
in its subtle touch
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very good
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this poem reminds me
your poem is better.
I wrote a poem Live Your LIfe -
very good!1
good rhymn and good quality in subject
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it need credits
I will go back and give 3 applauds.
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great poem
it is well written -
very good!!
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I don't quite see the acrostic.. but a powerful deep poem nonetheless.
Metaphorically you are looking behind and seeing your mistakes and are able to laugh at them as you continue on life's labyrinth of a journey. You seem to be saying basically you are getting the hang of this neverending maze.
At the end I wonder why you are looking at your shadow and knowing he will point the way for you. Could it be that you only have a shadow because you are standing in the light? -
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It says: Amera Allan Kristin AP
(I had to make something that fit the number of lines of a villanelle
If I walk away from my shadow it means I am walking towards the light.
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"Engaged in thought, my mind turns over slow"...hmmm...good advice, and from this excellent piece of writing, I may actually take it! I am impressed as well as the two women you aimed for, not a bad thing to be proud, if you can bring it....and you have here...Well done, again..Peace, Rhonda
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Two will do... for now... thanks for reading...
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A very deep and thought provoking write. As always you have taken the reader on a journey of thought, which is always wonderfully inviting.
Very nicely done. One in which I enjoyed very much.
Thank you for sharing. -
This is yet another wonderful,excellent write! Your talent fills the pages with your words. the way you write answers and questions in your writes is awesome. Thank you so much..
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This was truly a wonderful write, with questions and answers all in one breath... I really loved it dear friend...
You have a magical pen...
Elmarie
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Thanks for stopping by... always love to hear from you... your comments are always cherished.
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wow this was so very different. Warm and beautiful and so different and creative from what ive been readintg as well as what i write myself. Thanks for the change.
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WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!
STUNNING WRITING. WONDERFUL WRITING HERE. THIS IS DEEP AND POWERFUL. THE LANGUAGE USED, IN THIS PIECE IS JUST BREATHTAKING. WELL DONE FOR THIS. THIS HAS HIT HOME WITH ME. BRILLIANT WRITING.
Wayne
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Thanks for the kind words. I was showing off for two women. It worked. They were impressed. Thanks again.
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beautiful,poignant the kind of write i can read forever!
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they say follow the light, one step at a time. Great acrostic, your in the light now so show it all lol keep up the good writes.
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It is so good to see you again.
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every stanza, perfection!!! now this is so why i love to write and read poetry!!!
overall, this is far better than i have to offer in feelings as well as imagery!!!!!!!!!
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Thanks for the glowing endorsement. Did you notice the poem was an acrostic?
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Holy snap frozen cow b@lls in cow bells!!!
Great interpretation of the picture...
Yes I believe 'abstract' and 'natural' go hand in hand.
And you have done an amazing job at describing this....
Jeffro -
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You may not have seen it, but Crossroads was also an acrostic! Yep! I was showin' off that day. Ha ha ha.
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what an amazing poem...you have certainly put into words what so many can only but mummble well done this is amazing and very very insightful..
laura xxx -
A piece with a natural flow,the crossroads at the intersection of introspection,food for thought penned with an appetite for life to be lived and not merely an existance.
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Wow! Do you get me. Thanks.
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God! Your author's note just made me HUNGRY!!! Ah allan but time is but a figment of our perception, and yours is always now!
xxoo
dk
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Did you notice that this was not only a villanelle but an acrostic rhyming villanelle! I am showing off.
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you are a strange strange man!
i like it! very cooooo. a bunny for you!
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I do read you, you know...
Lane
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You complain about having too many bunnies... here's a place to unload some.
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Great flow... Your words just roll down the page like an ocean wave. Change is necessary to us all, I suppose, and it is good to recognize that change and go with it. Bravo!!
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I am in the deep process of change myself , I can appreciate this piece greatly
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woot
very nice
the poem flows weel in to next part and it has a nice meaning great work
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Beautiful
A very special poem with a good layout. The words a not forced and it flows like a dream. BRAVO!
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thank you
Well, all I can say is I’m impressed. This is pure magic. You created a wonderful image with fluidic flow in a difficult style. I’m speechless and honored regarding the hidden message. I love you. Amera
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