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14 Red Roses


 

 


One gorgeous rose to mark this day,
Exquisitely beautiful in every way.
The second rose used to caress your face,
While locked inside your sweet embrace.
And the third, for just being my friend,
Babe, I love you, there's no "depends."
With the fourth, I'll gain a kiss,
Together with you is such a bliss.
The fifth to show, I really care,
And if you need me, I'll be there.
The sixth rose is to dry your tears,
Like you've dried mine for all these years.
The seventh, an angel from above,
Flown to show me what is love.
Number eight, it's you I adore,
One touch of you, and I want more.
Now the ninth, shows the beauty inside,
That desires to build your strength and pride.
Here, the tenth shows what you mean to me,
Because, for my heart, you hold the key.
Eleventh, to say, I'll give what you need,
I'll risk my own life, and fight till I bleed.
The twelfth is for you, to keep me warm,
And carry me away with your handsome charm.
The thirteenth, to say, that all this is true,
I don't have to say it, you know I love you.
Last but not least, will you, be mine?
I can't stay without you, for this Valentine.



~*~

This is a relating poem
14 Black Roses

Author notes

This poem is for Yash, for Valentine...

If you have time .. please read the relating poem
I'd appreciate it

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 72 of 72
  • i remember when you wrote this one.
    i can see why you won so many trophies for it.

    yours and only yours
    granny


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    September 27, 2008
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    !!
    Cuuuuuuuuuuuuute!

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    June 21, 2008
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    Thank you for your lovely entry, good luck in my contest, Josie


  • theflamepoetess
    May 28, 2008
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    i really ike this, it has such emotion and depth, good luck in the contest


  • masky
    May 27, 2008
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    OOH! Beautiful, beautiful, in every single way! I don't know where to start, but I really love this poem, in 14 different ways. I also read the Black version (It's like perfumes, you know? Day and night!), ...which, I have to stay, I liked as well, but this one is so much more cliche - delightful, beautiful, cliche! Somehow, I looked at the dates of both poems (3 days apart), and...I want to say I'm truly sorry that love had to end. Because it was really love, I can see that!! Let me point out my favorite part (as I can't point out any flaws, contrarily to my usual critiques):
    " The thirteenth, to say, that all this is true,
    I don't have to say it, you know I love you.
    Last but not least, will you, be mine?
    I can't stay without you, for this Valentine."
    A truly beautiful ending for such a lovely poem - also, I would love to hear more about it. Though I can figure the basics out, I love details. And this sounds like one detailed story!
    "The fifitienth one is to show you you're close
    To getting the prize and the ultimate rose!" (Poor attempt of ending my comment your style - my apologies! )
    P.S. - Re-read my old comment- how quickly I've changed, hee ^_^

    • Never Fall in Love
      May 27, 2008

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      lol, the perfumes go crazy - you'll soon see midday and midnight and half afternoons - I swear!

      It's all cliché - lol, love is cliché.
      One question - you sound really really hyper, lol

      • masky
        May 27, 2008

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        It's the fact that I have a cold and a sore throat, so I can't really talk - I vent out in writing. Or, i am just crazy like that!


  • FollowingFate
    May 19, 2008

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    This was an incredibly gorgeous poem, very tender and sinceer.(sp?) Obviously it's good, otherwise you wouldn't have won so many trophies. I really enjoyed that you described love in all its little cherished treasures. It was very heart-warming, and the rhyme was perfect. I found myself reading it kinda slow, which added extra power to each word. The only thing that kinda threw me off was that you made some things plural that didn't seem like they were supposed to be like..."mines" and "Babes", which when plural, makes you seem like a polygamist. But oh well. My favorite line/stanza type thing was "The thirteenth, to say, that all this is true,
    I don't have to say it, you know I love you." I enjoyed reading your adorable piece. Great job and good luck.

  • DarkRomantic113
    April 11, 2008
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    Great and wonderful poem. Yash is a lucky guy to have been your Valentine.


  • Beautyfull-x-Angel
    March 23, 2008
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    simply beauty no other word describe it thank you nd best wishes


  • Entwining Beauty
    February 20, 2008
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    Very beautiful poem good luck in the contest


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    February 13, 2008
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    ~~~ Thank you very much for entering this beautiful poem… ~~~

    I absolutely loved this picture and the poem… The things you say one with each of the roses is enough to melt any heart!

    WOW!!

    ~~~ Good luck in the contest and hope you enter again ~~~

    Becks


  • Ignis Corpus
    January 27, 2008
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    Wow, this poem is so sweet. It made me smile and made me think of my one and only all the way through this poem. It made me smile. I'm glad you follow the rules. It had a pretty solid rhyme scheme, too. I liked it very much I wish you the best of luck in this contest.
    Beautiufldisasterxx


  • GypsyEyes
    January 26, 2008

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    i love the way you formatted this poem! you have written some thing very powerful! i like it! i wish you the best of luck in the contest!
    NineTailedFox


  • tawk gold member
    August 10, 2007

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    Hood-Wink!

    Such a beautiful poem of ones love for another. So full of wonderful imagery and emotions. I can't pick out a favorite line I loved them all!!! Wonderful flow and rhythm. Enjoy your day today

    You have just been Hood-Winked courtesy of the Poetic Bandits


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    June 11, 2007

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    Very smooth and flowed softly across the page...dedicated to the one you love thank you so very much for sharing and entering


  • arafura gold member
    June 10, 2007
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    Nicely written and cleverly structured! Hope Yash liked it...


  • Triste
    April 21, 2007

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    I really liked the sweet love you convey in this poem, and the rhyme scheme was refreshing because it felt relaxed and natural. Overall the rhythm was good, but it did seem to stumble in a few places, and you might want to revise a few lines to make the flow smooth and connected. One typo, 'mines' should be 'mine'. Thank you for your entry.


  • Erin200
    April 14, 2007

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    Thank you for entering my contest and I like this also your other poem about red roses. I love anything to do with roses. Good job and keep writing!


  • MysticAngelEyes
    March 22, 2007

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    Wow that was so moving, so emotional, just lovely. It flows so well. I like the way represention of the amount of roses. Very nice.


  • Angierie
    March 16, 2007

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    Great write! Thanks for the entry!

    "Now the ninth, shows the beauty inside,
    That desires to build your strength and pride."

    Adorable!

    Angie


  • LoveNeverDies
    March 4, 2007

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    great write it was really good the only part i didnt agree with was the end of lines..23 &24 i believe with warm and charm it didnt rhyme right it didnt really match the setting but it was a wonderfull write besides that keep up the great work and best of luck to you in the contest have a great day


  • Cunningtrickster
    February 25, 2007

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    i like it especially the representation of the amount of roses. this is so beautiful, i'm totally stunned


  • Avendesora Dreamer
    February 24, 2007
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    this is a very sweet love poem, almost classical Halmark card, but better...


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    February 24, 2007
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    good

    Love and roses go together all year round.


  • eating vertigo
    February 24, 2007
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    This poem is sweet, all about foolish love.
    But what about the thorns?

    • Never Fall in Love
      February 24, 2007
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      The thorns are in another poem
      The link is to the bottom of this poem
      But at times, we have to focus on one thing
      not the whole picture

  • masky
    February 24, 2007
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    This poem is so sweet! I can't belive I haven't read it before...
    I must mark my favourite group...the one of the fifth rose:
    "The fifth to show, I really care,
    And if you need me, I'll be there."
    You know what's funny? That this is how I feel, my favourite flower is the rose, and 5 is my lucky number. I guess I might just be childish about this, but it really means something when I find something that really fits me!
    I won't suggest correcting anything- I would spoil the atmosphere if I would.


  • Rockstar Bob
    February 24, 2007

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    I see why you liked my Haikus.

    This is a Masterpiece on it's own level. My silly little Haikus fail to compete against the beauty of this poem.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    February 23, 2007

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    Great work with this poem!
    I really enjoyed reading this piece.
    Thanks for sharing it and keep up
    the great work here!



    Jeremy0826


  • Amethyst jean
    February 23, 2007
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    This is really sweet.

    *Amy*


  • autumns rising
    February 23, 2007
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    this is really sweet/ I love the whole 14 roses thing lol

  • Arcomage
    February 23, 2007
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    too cliche

    sorry but better luck next time. I found this poem quite cliche, the ryhmes forced, and just kinda sucky in my opinion. Whoever it's for, glad she liked it.


    man, most those ryhmes sucked... sorry


    • Never Fall in Love
      February 24, 2007
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      You Mind pointing out how my rhymes sucked?
      and it's for a he .. not she .. im not lesbian .. sorry


  • February 23, 2007
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    I really thought this was a beautiful poem


  • ForsakenAngel
    February 23, 2007
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    amazing

    wow! just wow. i loved it. you have extreme talent.

  • Krystina Kay
    February 23, 2007
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    love it!


  • forsaken2lovex
    February 23, 2007
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    I loved it


  • Sitara
    February 23, 2007

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    A sweet poem ,glad to read about love and romance.I really liked the way you added up your words by the increasing number of roses.Very nice chandni

  • stolenKisses83
    February 23, 2007

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    It is so sweet, my fiance is not a romantic like i am, and i didnt get 14 roses all i got was a card and baby sick lol lovely work


  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    February 23, 2007
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    This poem was excellent I'm glad your happy unfortunately the woman I love doesn't love me so I'm stuck being constantly miserable. Anyway I'm sure you deserved the roses and to be happy and again excellent work!!!


  • Lady Altheia
    February 22, 2007

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    Awww, I wish I got fourteen roses for valentine's Day. However i did get a valentine for Valentine's day.


  • Useless Love
    February 22, 2007
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    this is a super sweet poem. i really like the way you wrote it.


  • perdisbeaute
    February 22, 2007

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    Awe...that's all i kept saying through the whole thing. I just adore this write, it's so sweet and romantic!! Awesome job on this, so cute!


  • Deus ex Mechina
    February 22, 2007
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    Wow.

    This is so beautiful.


  • kathy1967
    February 22, 2007
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    Excellent Poem

    Very Beautifully done.


  • LadyInRed55
    February 22, 2007

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    Great

    I thought this poem was great and very good written. I really felt the love in reading it and I felt the passion love can bring.
    Over all, Good Job!!!


  • Poet Brokenheart
    February 22, 2007

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    Beautiful

    This Poem is just....Beautiful,

    I hate Valentine, being Mr. Lonely, but this poem make me feel really good about it. THe Person this Poem is written for is the Luckiest Man in the world!

    • Never Fall in Love
      February 22, 2007
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      This luckiest man didnt think I was lucky enough .. so that's why i made the other peice

      thanks for your comment


  • ISheHer
    February 22, 2007
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    this poem is so beautiful.
    absolutly gorgy.
    and so touching.

    nice job.


  • star crossed
    February 22, 2007
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    it's so sweet. I wish someone would feel like that about me.


  • February 22, 2007
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    Is the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • elemental angel
    February 22, 2007
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    Beautiful


  • trista gold member
    February 20, 2007
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    Beautiful...


  • February 19, 2007
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    perfect in every way


  • Manic Panic
    February 19, 2007

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    Wow!!

    Aww, sis, this is such an amazing and heartfelt write. I absolutely adore it! The rhyme scheme you set up helped the poem flow very nicely. I love the lines, "Here, the tenth shows what you mean to me,
    Because, for my heart, you hold the key." and the ending. Very cute. Great job, and good luck in the contest.
    You truly do have a gift for writing!


  • Death of the Author
    February 19, 2007

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    Wow, I'm glad you got a poem written, its fantastic, I love it, hehe its p e r f e c t x take care x keep writing! x


  • Perplexed in Love
    February 16, 2007

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    OMG.. this is the most amazing love poem ive ever read in my whole life... you totally pulled this one off..

    the person you are dedicating this poem to must be really special..

    i like the rhyming and most of all the romance and the sweetness of it..

    you rock..!!!


  • Painted Warrior
    February 16, 2007
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    Beautiful work!


  • Sacred Ground
    February 16, 2007
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    This is a great valentine poem! It is written with such love and caring! Just beautiful!

  • piccola silver member
    February 16, 2007

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    beautiful presentation and lovely sentiments. you might want to change the spelling of the word mines to mine..probably just a typo.

  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    February 16, 2007
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    OMG ~~~
    Sweet Heart I don't even know what to say.
    I don't think I have ever read anything more beautiful.
    Yash better know how lucky he is to have you care so much for him.
    Everytime I read a poem like this from you, it just makes me ever more proud of you. I love this and I am sure Yash did to.
    This piece looks like a winner to me, but good luck in the contest anyway.
    I love you very much young lady.

    Love your Granny


  • Shantalina
    February 16, 2007
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    please put your authors name in the title. beautiful poem.

1 - 72 of 72