Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Inner Vision's Gem (Metered Mirror-Rhyme)

Missing image
painting "amma" by maa




I see a bright light up ahead
It glitters like a star
With hues of orange, gold and red
This light seems very far

Few turquoise sparkles can be seen
Some purple flashes, too
With brilliant spots of deepest green
Adorning darkest blue

A firework of amazing grace
This rainbow of delight
That dwelled within my inner space
Dispelling darkest night

Behind closed eyes I contemplate
This blissful flow of joy
While peacefully I meditate
All sorrow I destroy

Like brilliant star of Bethlehem
Third eye’s delights unfold
I follow inner vision’s gem
Like Holy Kings of old

***

Like Holy Kings of old
I follow inner vision’s gem
Third eye’s delights unfold
Like brilliant star of Bethlehem

All sorrow I destroy
While peacefully I meditate
This blissful flow of joy
Behind closed eyes I contemplate

Dispelling darkest night
That dwelled within my inner space
This rainbow of delight
A firework of amazing grace

Adorning darkest blue
With brilliant spots of deepest green
Some purple flashes, too
Few turquoise sparkles can be seen

This light seems very far
With hues of orange, gold and red
It glitters like a star
I see a bright light up ahead


Author notes

METERED MIRROR-RHYME in alternating iambic tetrameter and iambic trimeter - with an abab cdcd rhyme-scheme

For more info about this form, please visit my column :
http://allpoetry.com/Column/2191585

***

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 67 of 67

  • Malabu
    March 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    such a colorful poem...I cant help thinking rainbow...and the flow of words melt like the colors to it...honestly..I dont think Ive the patience or the talent to contrive a poem such as this...perhaps because im lazy...or just not talented enough to perform such a fete....lol...simply a work of art


  • raspberry Greeters member
    March 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    the flow and rhyme s awesome.. soo poetic.. ur subjects r always fascinating Marion..


  • Lyndon gold member
    March 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Linearly palindromic form.

    Expertise in this form is not always as easy as it seems and you have done the method justice. Accuracy of rhyme and meter are obvious bonus points.
    Colours are central and delightful to take in. Creative, calm and serene~ yes, all of these. Thank you, Marion. Ron.


  • Elora Danon gold member
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You've done justice to your form and your work in impeccable (as always). I love this one.

    e~


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    March 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An excellent poem showing me yet another form of poetry. This was a joy to read.

    All the best in the contest...Sue


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    March 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful colors in splendid rhyme with such beautiful traces of golden admiration. An excellent poem. Wow. best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela


  • poet2angels gold member
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely! I have read this one several times before and loved it every time...Amazing!

    Best wishes!

    Lynda


  • Princess Perdue gold member
    March 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It won't let me give you applause.


    • maa gold member
      March 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      how sweet of you ...
      I guess it's because you have already sent the clappies a little while ago ... let's see ... hehe, found it : february 17th 2007
      the system allows only one offering of clappies ... thank you again so very much !

  • Linda Sue silver member
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I remember this one very well. It is one of my favorites. A very difficult form which you presented so beautifully. Just great! ~ Sue


  • RuthKephart
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am just in awe at anyone who can write this form and pull it off as well as you have here. I attempted this once and after a bottle of tylenol, 3 wasted hours and a few shots of vodka I gave up No wonder this took a gold at all
    Ruth


  • Prince Charming
    March 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very strong

    I have enjoyed this piece in the comfort of a silent office and it made me read it over and over again. Made me make a rollercoasterride of insight thoughts to calm down after that and feel refreshed. I like the used style and i enjoyed the melody of the rhyme. It is fantastic written and a pleasure to read
    Herman

  • Princess Perdue gold member
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I find this poetry just as beautiful as the first time I read it....my comments remain the same. Dear maa....you always leave such a calm and serene feeling with the reader, and I love the woven threads of delicate penning within each stanza. Beautiful.I wish you all the best in the contest.

    Shaz xx


  • Wandika gold member
    March 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very creative

    Like that would be a surprise! Marion my best to you in this contest with this wonderful and creative piece.

    Jim


  • Legend silver member
    March 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Welcome back Good luck in the contest

  • snehaprava dash
    April 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wonderful poem.you are a real talent


  • Frozentearz
    February 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on your award,
    well done a wonderful write,
    warm thoughts
    Frozentearz

  • Princess Perdue gold member
    February 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the well deserved gold, I knew from the very start this would be the winner, and now that the contest is over I can say that you certainly got my vote. Absolutely amazing and a write to be very proud of. Well done dear.

    Shaz xx

  • Linda Sue silver member
    February 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations...a well-deserved gold winner. I just love the mirror-rhyme form...and this was so beautifully done. You are truly talented. ~ Sue

  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    February 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Congratulations!!

    It is so awesome to see the gold on this piece. So perfectly written in form and message. Truly, my heartfelt congratulations! Whoooo Hooooo ~Pamela

  • raspberry Greeters member
    February 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent Rhyme

    The rhyme scheme is here which something sweeps me off.. so excellently crafted Very well done Marion.. Good luck in the contest, I am always a lover of delightful rhymes and this piece is a definite feast

    • maa gold member
      February 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much, dear archana, for your encouraging comment and abundant applause ... I love to play with rhyme and meter, it makes me happy ...
      take care, sweet one,

      maa


  • EvilKate
    February 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It is an absolute joy to read such a complex metered work with no stumbles in the flow at all. I'd tell you that you have a rare talent but then, you already know that

    Those who are fans of meter would be well advised to read your wonderful entry: to best see how to hold flow without using those oft-placed 'filler' words too much.

    Thank you for this

    • maa gold member
      February 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      dear (not so) evil femme,
      thank you so much for your truly kind comment and abundant applause ... I am still a beginner in writing poetry, having written my first english poems 10 months ago ... so I have still a lot to learn ... but I have already discovered that I love meter ...
      all the best to you,
      and thanks again for your encouragement,
      good luck to you in this adventure,

      marion

      • EvilKate
        February 26, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        not so?

        Hey .. Sshhh - that's supposed to be a secret!

        But seriously ... 10 months eh? - obviously a quick study then

  • Wandika gold member
    February 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Very Colorful

    I like your form and have written a couple recently. I am always amazed how well they read backward. This one is no exception and quite lovely. The imagery brilliantly colorful.

    Jim

    • maa gold member
      February 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much, dear jim, for your generous comment and applause ... I would love to read your mirror-rhymes ... please feel free to send me the links ...

      marion


  • Lj-
    February 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is good. Great imagery.


    Best of luck.


    • maa gold member
      February 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you, angel for your kind visit and wishes ... good luck to you as well ...

      maa


  • timothyward
    February 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this poem. I has a grace to it that makes it beautiful. Much success in the contest


    • maa gold member
      February 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for your kind comment, dear timothy ... good luck to you, as well ...

      maa


  • slipperssun gold member
    February 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this metered mirror rhyme looks wicked and i love the way it reads... you have made great use of the line you used. well done and i wish you well in the contest.
    cheers
    Jen


    • maa gold member
      February 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you, dear jen, for your kind visit and wishes ... I wish you good luck as well ...

      maa


  • Haunted-Memory silver member
    February 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant

    This is a brilliant poem loved the layout and the flow wishing you all the very best in this contest Brian.


    • maa gold member
      February 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much, dear brian, for your encouragement ... all the best to you, as well ...

      maa


  • -Ink Artist-
    February 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Incredible work, maa! This is gorgeous! This is, by far, one of the best pieces I've read in a very long time. Your imagery is divine! Not only is it powerful in message, but your incredible ability to write in form leaves me awed by your talent. You are truly a blessing to this site, as we all learn so much from your example. Absolutely excellent work, my friend! Excellent!


    ~Lori

    • maa gold member
      February 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      look, who's talking !
      I must say that I enjoy your poetry as much as you seem to enjoy mine, dear lori ...
      so I send the pretty flowers right back to you ...
      thank you for your sensitivity and receptivity - aaand for your abundant applause ...
      all the best,

      marion


  • aslanlight
    February 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Yoowwwssssaaaa!

    This is the best poem I've read in ages. I silently meditate so have experienced incredible things and empathise completely with this. I'm a Christian but lately have been considering that I'm really a Universalist and sympathise with the Hindu idea that all religions are a path up the mountain to enlightenment and Nirvana.
    You speak of the light, yes living it, breathing it, being it. I've come over all blessed! Thankyou

    Love, light & peace

    Georgia

    • maa gold member
      February 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      dear georgia,
      your openness of mind and heart are a precious gift ...
      if meditation has guided you towards the vision of Unity and Oneness, embracing all paths as (part of or equal to) The Path ... welcoming all visions as (part of or equal to) The Vision ... tolerating all truth as (part of or equal to) The Truth ... then it has done a great job !
      as my hubby, who is a psychiatric doctor, would say now : "meditation is the ONLY medicine that works."
      so happy to cross your path, dear soul,

      marion

  • Linda Sue silver member
    February 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This is amazing. I've always wanted to try this form...but I can never quite come up with anything as beautifully written as this. This is one of the best I've read of this form. Everything was perfect...rhyme, flow, and the mirrored lines. Bravo! ~ Sue

    • maa gold member
      February 19, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much, dear sue, for your appreciative comment on this poem, as well as for your abundant applause ... I am sure you will create a marvelous poem, should you ever decide to use this form ... please don't hesitate to send me the link, so I may read it ...

      maa


  • Sacrificial Love
    February 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Absolutely amazing...

    The inner peace reflected in this peace is so wonderful...and the way it flows...naturally...and through the mirrored reflection? WOW. You are so incredibly blessed and talented.

    xo
    Sahabah alMahgrebi


    • maa gold member
      February 19, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much for your thoughtful words, dear sahabah ...
      much love,

      maa


  • jjbreunig3
    February 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    An enjoyable write...

    An enjoyable write; found the mirrored approach of the stanzas very interesting; it's like having two poems in one; nicely done. --Joe

    • maa gold member
      February 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      yes, two poems in one, the second one with a slightly different sense ... for example, the lines :

      "This rainbow of delight
      That dwelled within my inner space
      Dispelling darkest night
      Behind closed eyes I contemplate ..."

      get transformed into :

      "Dispelling darkest night
      That dwelled within my inner space
      This rainbow of delight
      A firework of amazing grace ..."

      fun, isn't it ?
      thanks so much for visiting and applauding, and for leaving your cyber-footprint on this page ...


      maa


  • SaoirseLou
    February 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    kaleidoscope

    I can see colours in the world that I can't see in me.
    Your inner vision is powerful, perfect.
    It is peaceful and I wish it was mirrored in the world.
    The rhymes is effortless, the talent is effortless. Stunning.
    saoirse

    • maa gold member
      February 18, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much for your delightful visit, dear saoirse lou ... I hope that you and your baby are well, he must be a big boy now ! ... best regards to your entire family,

      marion

      • SaoirseLou
        February 18, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Fionn is great thankfully. 9 months old yesterday which was a bit of an emotional landmark for Killian and I. Best regards to you and yours too


  • MyrddinEmrys silver member
    February 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    So sweetly done

    Thanks for the exquisite view within, little sister. Beautiful, like the soul from which it comes.

    Be ever bright, rainbow light.

    Rahad (aka Rod)


    • maa gold member
      February 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      rainbow light thanks you for your sweet words and the clapping hands ...
      what does "rahad" mean ?

      marion

  • Princess Perdue gold member
    February 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm sigh, peaceful as swinging on a star or drifting on a breeze--this made me feel so relaxed and laid back. I think you have much talent--your rhyme and flow are both amazing, and you made it look as if it was all penned with the greatest of ease. This is one of favourites in the contest, I truly loved it!. Well done and good luck in the contest.

    Shaz xx

    • maa gold member
      February 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you very much, dear shaz, for your kind words and your generous applause for this poem ... your visit has been most appreciated ...
      all the best to you,

      maa

  • Frozentearz
    February 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Fantastic

    First I must say wow..
    Then I can say amazing write with words,
    and then lol.. Fantastic Form.
    This truly was an overall amazing write
    Thanks for sharing.
    Love and Light
    Frozentearz


    • maa gold member
      February 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much for your appreciative comment, dear frozentearz ... all the best to you and
      much love,

      maa

  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    February 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    *HUGE SMILE*

    I simply adored this piece. First off the form is exceptional, but then from one who introduced ME to it, I would expect nothing less. The message? More pure than one can even imagine. An absolute delight to read, enjoy, and absorb. Just wonderful. ~Pam

    • maa gold member
      February 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much for your appreciative words and generous applause, dear pamela ... it is so nice to meet you again here in legend's contest, where I have first crossed your path a little while ago ... plus, for me, you are one of the best poets who accomplished this form ... so your feedback means a lot to me ...

      maa

  • Theasp
    February 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A lovely spirit-filled poem of enlightenment, for one so young.

    • maa gold member
      February 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      well, the body seems relatively young to some, and relatively old to others ... but the soul is as old as the universe ...
      thank you so much for your generous applause and your most appreciated comment ...
      all the best,

      maa


  • Random Lily
    February 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I love the mirror effect, it's very beautiful. The imagery here is just amazing and the flow is smooth. Good job and good luck in the contest!

    • maa gold member
      February 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you, dear lily, for your visit and kind comment on this poem ... I will be over soon to read your entry ...

      maa

  • Legend silver member
    February 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Maa I can always be assured of something specie when you enter one of my contest.This poem would have been excellent if it had only contained the first section. That you then mirrored it to complete two wonderful pieces take a rare talent and not one that many can pull off You Do Excellent Good luck in the contest

    • maa gold member
      February 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much for your kind words, dear legend ... and for your gift of applause ... I have been hoping for another one of your contests recently ... since they are my favorites ... thank you for hosting, once again ...

      maa


  • little-hug
    February 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    breath-takingingly beautiful

    Dear marion
    Not for the first time I am left speechless and awe-struck by a poem of yours and here I am 10 minutes later still trying to make my head find the words my heart wants to say..
    um.. this poem is breath-takingly beautiful because it doesn't need big fancy words to make it sound clever. Your wisdom and heart shine through I love the imagery. Its so beautiful and peaceful and happy !!
    I think this has to be one of my favourite poems you have ever written. Is it okay if I print it off and put it on my wall please ?
    I love you
    ellie x

    • maa gold member
      February 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much, sweet ellie, for your wonderful comment as well as for your generous applause ... of course you may print the poem and put it on the wall, if you wish ...
      I love you, too, my little star-fairy

      marion

  • poet2angels gold member
    February 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful!

    I love this form, and you always write them beautifully!
    Such wonderful usage of the line provided...Best wishes in the contest!!
    Lynda

    • maa gold member
      February 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much, dear lynda, for your encouraging comment and abundant applause ... I will soon be over to read your contribution to this contest ... looking very much forward to it ...

      marion

1 - 67 of 67