the sun rose normally
and the day went the same
there was nothing special today
who is to blame ?
i would have brought a bouquet of flowers
we could have eaten out
we could have been the closest lovers
but you made me sit with a pout
i dreamt of you the whole day
i wished you were with me
i wanted it to be the best V day
but you made it the worst for me
i saw people exchange roses
and greet each other
i heard them say
" we are made for each other "
i wished you did the same for me ,
and at the moon
i laughed like a crazy lover
and the moon whispered
the day is over ..
A contest entry
- Anti Valentine by Memoirs of a Girl.
385 points, ended February 20, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Great poem
I like this poem very much. Itdescribes your fellings so clearly. It made me sad but I guess you have found a new love already. If not, I'm sure she's just around the corner.Great poem.
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This is kind of straightforward and shows ordinary life yet it's so depressing. You've done a great job in expressing your feelings. Also, I liked how you had wrote it in terms of the day.
"the sun rose normally
and the day went the same
---
and at the moon
--
the day is over ..
This is certainly real life for a lot of people.
-DesertRose
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It's pretty impressive, are you really only 13 years old? I know how you feel too, we'd all like to feel special and loved. Thank you for sharing this with us!
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very good
good -
wow
a really good write. I especially liked the last phrase "and at the moon I laughed like a crazy lover and the moon whispered the day is over..." it had good rythm, and the ryhmes were creative. Great job!
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Wow, amazing write, I felt pretty much the same on valentine's day.
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wow.
I'm on the verge of tears right now. I think I connect to it so well because I felt like this on Valentine's Day. It almost makes me feel better. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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