the drop of a hat,
two cigarettes down;
eighteen or life to go.
they should warn you about verbal std's
(or offer some kind of generally accepted contraception).
'cause three minutes in,
you're screaming profanities
and this conversation
is harder
and faster
than you thought you'd enjoy.
you've sold yourself,
for false truths, and
half lies, and
dry humor that, well, any blonde would get.
but i'll get to the point,
when you get the point,
that i can talk like i see,
through that clear (plastic) face
and i listen for real,
and i know that you’re fake.
don't sell,
what you don't have
and no, i wont buy.
so give in, or
give up,
for good, and
goodnight.
In a list
A contest entry
- Give me your very best! by Carly Pop.
450 points, ended April 3, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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The title is so catchy. It's ambiguity makes it hard to know exactly what's being said but it still sounds good. Quite a talent. I remember feeling all those ways about people until you stop caring and be as real as you can be. You sound like a realist. I love the line 'I'll get to the point when you get the point.' So sophisticated.
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BRILLIANT
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Clever
Nice and witty, clever and very much coherent, i don't know if it was thought out or if it just flowed, but i can definitely agree on the fact that it was an enjoyable read, there is talent there, continue to tap into it
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this may not be my style, but yet I see a writer when I finished reading this. Thanks for entering and keep writing you have unbelievable talent!
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Wow, I really love this, especially:
that i can talk like i see,
through that clear (plastic) face
and i listen for real,
and i know that you’re fake.
Great piece, thanks for sharing
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Easy read, this is! Dont sell yourself short for anyone, blonde, brunette, whatever...Love the idea of contraception for verbal stds..what a creative mind you have...please write more, write often!
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wow.
wow.
the end. -
This is a "kickin" poem.. clear, direct.. absolute. I could not have stopped reading it even if I wanted to. Great work here.. Debby
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cool
for a second i thought it was a wonderful poem you could rework later and make it even better. then i realized that's part of it's charms, the just don't giva a fu*k cause the jerk***s won't get it anyway and the people who sometimes get frustrated with the stupid ones will recognize and sympathize just fine with what you're trying to say
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the title really capitivated me. its what got me into reading the poem. i have scowered through people's pages looking for a good title and this one, thus far is the best. there is an ambiguity i can appreciate with the parenthesis. that aside, the content was not disappointing. very cool, sarcastic and casual.
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Cool. I like it. The title is awesome, and the words you used to express this poem are amazing. Good Job, I enjoyed reading it.
three minutes in,
you're screaming profanities
and this conversation
is harder
and faster
than you thought you'd enjoy.
My favorite part is that.
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Wow!!! This piece pulls me right inside it's honest and bitter clarity. There's a story behind the lines, one that leaves me remembering conversations in my own life that presented the same qualities.
I've taken personal meaning from your words, and am amazed at how closely I can connect with this write.
Unbelieveable.
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wow. amazing poem. very good i really enjoyed it. Very much from the soul. Well done.
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i really enjoyed reading this poem.
"You've sold yourself,
for false truths, and
half lies, and
dry humor that, well, any blonde would get."
my fave... -
"don't sell,
what you don't have
and no, i wont buy."
I´liked a lot in this poem, a lot of great lines, and an interesting title! It's a thoughtful piece! Good job! -
awesome, this was brilliant ryan..
It had a real bite to it, that rich dirty prettiness that makes something strangely enticing. The word play on the final stanza was stunning.
Is this a song too? I'd love to hear it..
missed youx
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wow this is defintely a unique and thoughtful piece. I just felt this had a certain edge to it for one, and was written wonderfully.
'don't sell,
what you don't have
and no, i wont buy.'
<33
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Very well written and thought out. I really enjoyed the flow and emotion in this write. Very cleverly done. Loved it
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