The time was filled;
With tears I wish I cry,
sigh after sorrowful sigh.
Dreaming, hoping, wishing;
that I could be yours,
knowing it never to be true,
my heart, it sores.
Jazz in the night,
you face oh so soft,
in the gentle blue light.
Yours and mine,
our hearts beat in time;
to that of the rhythmic drum,
so wishing to me you would come.
Your eyes catch mine,
from across the room;
the longing for your love,
overpowering the gloom.
A contest entry
- Rhyme by XxNinjaNemoxX.
650 points, ended August 4, 2009, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRWRITE CONTEST FOR ALL by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended August 2, 2009, 984 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The only thing I can really complain about is a spelling correction.
'our hears beat in time;'
You mean 'Our hearts beat in time;' right?
Other than that, this piece is rather amazing
Thanks for entering and best of luck
xoxo. -
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thank you for the observation, sometimes i just get into a rush! it's now fixed
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great write, the emotion in this is overwhelming to me. amazing
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Romantic
A great piece and well written, very elligently put. Such lovely structure as well, wonderful job. peace be with you.
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