My Non - Poem of Insanity

This is not a poem.
Anyone caught reading this shall be trespassing.
Trespassers shall be shot.
Survivors shall be shot again.
But i warn you.
This is NOT a poem.
*Yells*

What would you do... if i offered you.. YES YOU!! A chance to play with....*drum role* MY PLASTIC PET FISH FROM MORDOR!!!!? YOU CAN FEED IT CHEESE!!!!!
Shut up! no laughing at me!....or I shall unleash...THE CHEESE!
Do you agree that all things furry are evil and should all be fed cheese until the giant dyslexic mouse runs around like a green banana with ugly monkeys?
Is *shudder* Brittney Spears almost as evil as everything furry?
Night Fighter has the kind of face only a mother could love. A mother who was blind in one eye and had that sort of milky film over the other
[jk!]
SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR NON POEM!
SPECIAL NEWS REPORT!
Our top story today: Convicted hit man, Jimmy McLeod, confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field, using only two small porcelain figures. Police admit that this may be the first known case of a 'nic-nack patty-whack.'
Hey Night Fighter!  Yes you! We can stay up all night, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles, BABY!
If i screwed a cow, and it said 'moo' does that mean its having a good time? I mean, would it have to say 'mooOoOOo' or 'MOO!' ??
Im sorry, but i just have to ask! Have you ever shoved cheese doodles in your ears and pretended they were your eyeballs?

You Were Warned.
Any Mental Injuries Or Effects Caused
From Reading This Non - Poem....
I Cannot Be Charged For.
*suddenly yells*
ITS ALL NIGHT FIGHERS FAULT!
IT WAS HER DAMN CONTEST!!!!!!!