Now cast aside by Pyrrah’s glowing fire,
Bereft and waste, his wild heart never tamed,
Long flown away, burnt out upon the pyre
That winter's teary passion once inflamed.
Apollo’s chariot climbs in the east,
And Delphi’s altar calls with prayers and songs,
While chilly mortals long for summer’s feast
Bewildered by sad winter’s sorry wrongs.
The spring draws near upon the Roman shore,
And laughter fills the streams, an aerie choir,
While my new lover hammers at the door
Seducing me with roses from the briar.
Slow winter pulses quicken and awake,
And love, sweet love, will give and then forsake.
A contest entry
- Shakespearean Sonnet Competition: "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY. by Vera Rich.
490 points, ended June 15, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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We know that wild roses flourished in ancient Greece, in Crete at around the time of Christ. I can't find any definite data about whether any bloom in spring, but I can say that the first cultivated rose I saw here in Scotland opened in May, by which time the wild rose bushes, red and white both, were in full bloom.
I loved the poem.
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On reading this through for final placing... I have begun to wonder: even in Mediterranean lands, would roses have bloomed in spring? The flowers that come to my mind when I think of spring in classical Greek love poetry are violets and jonquils. Perhaps I am being over-pedantic (and I fully appreciate that "briar" provides the necessary rhyme with "choir"), and certainly it took several rereadings before this idea surfaced... but then in assessing a poem one needs also take into consideration not only first impressions but also how well it wears with time.
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speechloess- very nice
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Very, very nice ...
and a delight to read.
Good luck in the contest.
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This is a well-wrought piece, with an excellent grasp of the sonnet form - not only the "rules" of its structure, but also how to deploy the form to enhance what you have to say. The language too is well-chosen... and "teary passion" is an expression that Shakespeare himself might have relished.
But do note that "winters" in line 4 should have an apostrophe - winter's. (Obviously a typing error - but I am a little surprised to see that no one has picked this up so far).
And co gratgulations on having the courage to let the "plot" stand alone, without "Author's notes". -
ah sonnets, you are so good at them, much better than me with them i think
a good piece of poetry here
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You are certainly talented, your expressions reap successful intensified images...
Reminds me of Greek mythology with their 'God's'
even though you speak of Roman times. A bit of spring romance to top off the perfectly composed poem.
Love it Beth.
Jeffro -
Behold...
...a poet! Love the poem, and it's connection obviously to myth. A gift you possess, because without knowledge of such tales, your poetry wouldn't be so vivid- and most definitely- it IS.
It's like...I AM THERE...
-James.
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Great write. I love the lines "That winters teary passion once inflamed." and "Seducing me with flowers from the briar." The first one just brings me wonders. I just love the way it was put. And for the second one, something just caught me with the seducing. The word just enthrolled me
A Murderous Lament -
Amazing.
That about covers it, I Love this.
~Artemis
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