Suddenly frozen my heart cracks like a lake
Torn, stretched distorted pain twists its way through my body
Thoughts drag my mind to destructive hatred of just being
Confused, searching everywhere I wander
Through my own depths, no answers to be found but still I wander
Aimlessly lost, wanting nothing more than to dwell
Hurt being the comfort Love no longer brings
Agonising over anything, everything, something
Holding back the natural anaesthetic that is shock
Paralysis starts to take a hold
Hands thick and heavy no control now
Cold moves through motionless limbs surging towards my body
Inside I cry with anguish knowing pain is fleeing me
Caught between hysteria and hushed emptyness
Pictures flash in the frames of my mind
Desperately clinging to the internal struggle to keep hope from slipping away
Too late the unimpassioned one takes over
Dead in the eyes, smile non existant
Not even a tear quenches my eyes
Deep within a voice so small cries in terror at the loss of life, hope, dreams and Love forevermore lost to the cold
A contest entry
- Anti Valentine by Memoirs of a Girl.
385 points, ended February 20, 2007, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need To Cry My Everloving Brains Out!! by Angel With No Halo.
525 points, ended February 16, 2007, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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To give up
Or give in.ometimes sadness can ring us to the brink. Very well explained here
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Thanks Bob, the important thing is to always remember to climb back up again
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Wow..hun this was very deep and so detailed...I think that you've done a awesome job on this piece here.
Kari -
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Hi good to see you back! Thanks hun
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This is brilliantly written. The flow.. the rhythm.. the wording.. everything.. this was a pleasure to read even though the sadness of it consumed me. Thank you for entering and great write hon!!
~Krys~
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Thank you so much for the honourable mention and Im glad u liked the poem but yeah sorry about the whole sadness thing he he, question is did you cry lol
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it's really good. I thought it was a bit long. I got lost a little bit in the middle, but it was a very good poem. Good luck and thanks for entering.
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What a emotionaly enthrawling piece this is. It drags the reader through the pain which is expressed clearly and with deeply moving emotion. Well done and thankyou for sharing.Also good luck in the contest.
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Thanks Baloo Took a bit of imagination and combined life experience but got there in the end I think.
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Damn good!
You penned this very well! I too have been there in that place you wrote about more than once, it's a place I hope to never again go for I fear if I do it will kill me physically as well. This entire poem was very good, but the ending is what hit me the hardest. It's just so goddamn true, at least for awhile. Once again, you did a great job on this write!
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Wow quick response lol
Thank you very much Im relieved the depth of despair is clear in the poem. Love can be the worst pain, more so than simply physical as it is all pain in one. Luckily I do not feel like this presently so can be happy at your appreciative words, thanks again
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