He stands, watching, in the distance...
Her beauty is breathtaking.
She is pure perfection,
Put on this humble Earth
By God Himself.
He stands, watching in the distance...
Does he deserve her true love?
The man, who looks afar,
Wanting love so divine,
Wishing for her.
He stands, watching, in the distance...
And what is the beauty's name?
Her name is beauty itself,
And the fire in his heart
Burns so brightly.
He stands, watching, in the distance...
But to a post he is tied, and he cannot reach her.
He is gagged, and cannot shout to her.
Truly, the fire in his heart burns more brightly
Than the fires of the torches below,
But he will soon burn a brighter red, and then a darker shade,
Because his fires burned for her.
As his muffled, frantic cries fill the air,
He thinks upon his foolishness-
For the stake cares not for the fires of love,
And tears of longing are quickly licked away by death's flames.
He glows, staring, in the distance...
A contest entry
- For Those Poets Who Have Never Won A Trophy Before by wings of an angel.
525 points, ended February 26, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Brilliant
I've already told you what I think of this poem when you posted it on myspace. I didn't tell you that I printed it out and read it over and over again for a week. This is a very, very good poem. It manages to get a sigh out of me everytime and makes me long for something I don't have. Beautifully done. -
Chilly indeed.
Wow that was a cool turn. I didn't expect that kind of ending. Your first part was so emotional and it really brought the desire into view and then you rip our hearts out by showing us he will not only never get her again, but he's going to die because of her!! I'd give you 3 but I'm short 1 point.
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exceptional!!
Nice dark, and dreamy. That's the ideas that came to me when reading this. He, obsessing over her when he should have been more focused on his mortality, very vivid and detailed I enjoyed the whole wonderful yet disturbing story you penned
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This is a lovely poem you penned here dear poet good luck in my contest
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Very creative use of metaphors in these lines - love working with fire, an burning, glowing, flames - well done.
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wow
this is so beautiful..It made me sigh with each line..thank you so much for sharing this beautiful write..
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Bravo
I particularly enjoy the title. I agree with most of what everyone says, but I think the soul of this poem lies in "Because his fires burned for her."
That is the door of perspective that I think will take individual readers down different avenues of understanding here.
Good job keeping this as short as it is...I wouldn't be able to help doubleing it.
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Metaphors abound in this write..love the way you played with "fire" awesomely emotional and definitely stirring the thoughts...Bravo!
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For the stake cares not for the fires of love,
And tears of longing are quickly licked away by death's flames.
He glows, staring, in the distance...
Truely so touching work indeed...Well there is a depth here in this work with reference to reveal a story of the sentiments of the heart where things are not in order and the take on this concept have been put here...Indeed a thought provoking and so heartfelt work is here..
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Amazing!!!
This nearly brought tears to my eyes. I love everything about it. The mention of fire used both literally and figuratively. Wow. So powerful. Truly a wonderful job. As sad as the ending is, it's my favorite part. This really spoke to me. Such a tragedy.
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Perfect metaphor...
...which is about all I can say for it. Your images are solid and communicate on several levels, so much so that I am sure many a reader will be left wondering at the end whether or not the work is entirely metaphorical. -
Creepy
And, indeed, very powerfull. I have "dark" love poems as well ( example: Dark Angel ), but none of them has this poem's style. It is sweet, however, that "his fires burned for her". Really deep meaning, congratulations!
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i liked it :)
I feel that this poem was able to capture the obsession of one man or at least it can be seen as obsession from someone elses point of view. But once u see what hes thinking while hes basically about to be killed and burned alive you have a lot of sadness towards him. I love how you show that love can be blinding and even in the midst of this man being killed hes staring at her with love and hope that he really knows logically will never happen. Love is amazing and can cause the worst things upon the best lovers out there. I hope people who aren't able to see past the red veil read this and maybe try to get into a more healthy relationship. hahaha... but yeah i liked it... i hope i interpreted it right...
come leave me comments on mine.. i love feedback from good writers!
--namaste
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