It stood tall like a dead tree,
ancient axes buried in its faces.
It refused to sway with the wind,
and an occasional branch fell,
balding it more.
Etchings in its bark,
odes to others
with no faces.
Children afraid to sleep under it,
for fear of its stability
in question.
Everyone strays -- no one stays,
not in autumn or winter.
Author notes
Contest: Ego Trip
lines 3-5
A contest entry
- Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ego Trip by Theasp.
525 points, ended October 26, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites for Comments :] by ElectricBloom.
700 points, ended November 23, 2008, 30 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Well?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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very nice :]
ok, so, i have your permission to explicate this? could you help me? i think i understand it. i will give credit where it is do! thank you, this is a very good poem, i liked it extremely well.
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Oh my gosh
this is amazing.
This is seriously one of those poems I could read over and over again.
Such beautiful imagery! and you've used one of my favorite words ever - Etchings - just how beautiful is that word?! I really don't know what to say. I' left speechless.
Simple, short and sweet. A fantastic poem and one I truly enjoyed reading!!
ElectricBloom -
This is an interesting poem. I'm trying desperately to figure out what the tree symbolizes, but I just can't get it. I'll probably think about it for 3 or 4 days, it'll hit me, and I'll feel really dumb. lol. Anyway, I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you for your entry & good luck!
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Outstanding
I loved the lines:
Etchings in its bark,
odes to others
with no faces.
Really deep! This poem represents for me everything that I find great about Ap - an inspirational poem with some thought behind it that stops me in my tracks. This is a very creative poem full of symbolism. I liked how you created layers of meaning until the tree became an extended metaphor for life. This is an excellent poem. I liked the ending as well suggesting time passing. It is difficult to suggest revisions I didn't like the line " Everyone strays -- no one stays," it just didn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem but this is the only line I would suggest changing. Fantastic to read, thank you for posting.
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An example of free interpretation, I see that this is where the author throws as much of the art out as possible with a destiny of others; t houghts on it.
I see similes, hyperboles, and metaphor oozing outward for the reader. And yet, even in the season of things, we see the message of change and transition.
Form and content are wonderful together. I enjoyed and have no nits as of this reading.
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Mmmm… I’m sure the “ancient axes” the “dead tree” is a metaphor and symbolism to a bigger implication.
I felt like I was captured for a moment in history, at times of knights and horses but as you continue your poem I see a typical scenario of a child afraid to sleep, with no where to run, surrounded by darkness and fear where ever his skinny legs drag him. And then you generalize that thought to “everyone” stating that…
“Everyone strays -- no one stays,
not in autumn or winter. “
This is my interpretation, you might have something else in mind, if you do, please share it with us… your poem is deep, a lot of interpretations might come out of it, I read it a couple of times until I felt I grasped the idea or the symbolism your trying to express.
Its very beautiful with a very simple heart felt flow.
It has some sort of ancient/modern wisdom to it.
Really is very intriguing.
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The critique paints a pretty picture. It's not what I had in mind; then again, it's a symbolic poem designed to be taken however the reader wishes.
Taking it strictly as its title would suggest, an ode to symbolism, the tree would be symbolism.
The ancient axes for those who have tried to conquer it.
The etchings for those who have tried to claim it.
The wind for those of passing fancy that sully it.
The children as the naive that try to hide under its veil and are forced to abandon it as they realize their symbolism simply doesn't work "for fear of its stability in question" (with the word "question" being interchangeable with "scrutiny").
Honestly, I forget what the final lines are supposed to mean allegorically, but I had something in mind this can be certain! I mean, it needed some kind of reference to its falling leaves, yes? -
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The fact that each individual that commented on your poem perceived your poem in different and at times mutual interpretations makes your poem and symbolism very successful. This isn’t easy and you basically mastered it. Good job on that!
And yes now I have a pervasive perspective in terms of your symbolism now that you explained, even though a lot of which I had felt while reading your poem.
And yes, autumn and winter reflects falling leaves I would agree, which is symbolism for change. Instability. You demonstrated your poem in an educated way, it takes a talented poet to conquer the world of symbolism and your personal style or display was very warm, gives the reader an opportunity to think and travel beyond just words but into the depths and it’s true meaning.
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Or they can just read about a tree.
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I see symbolic of what!
I saw the sign CROATANm but why do you think this doesn't cut it?
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Beg pardon?
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This brings to mind so many ideas, and images. It reminded me also, of the book, "Where the Red Fern Grows" because of the boy spending all his time amongst the battle scared trees, out with his dog. But another book, another story sprang to mind, I can't fully remember it - perhaps it was, too, Where the Red Fern Grows. It had to do with a boy, a young boy, taking an axe to a large tree - YES, in order tog et the coon out of it. And he put all his energy and sweat into doing the job - in order to knock the tree down.
I'm rambling, but you should check out that book if you haven't read it because your poem totally reminded me of it!
It was very well written, very descriptive - I thought the end of it was a little disappointing; unexpected, true, but - well I have no suggestions for how you could end it, it just wasn't [in my eyes] up to par with the rest of the poem - the last line that is.
But, thanks for entering
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I see a medieval knight whose been disfigured by a war. The etchings in the bark are like his scars. People are afraid of the way he looks. It's the "ancient axes" that made me think that.
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