I once called
myself
an honorable,
loving,
caring person,
who would never do the things
he so often criticized others of doing
because he had stronger character.
And perhaps he did.
But it always falters.
I once called
my lactose intolerance
brought on by my waking consciousness,
or perhaps by the nervousness and fear
of seeing the student body again,
"morning sickness."
The counselor laughed when he finally got it,
and I guess it was funny.
I once called
the first three digits
in front of my phone number
the extension, rather than the area code.
I was given a perplexed look
by my headmaster.
He knew me,
but maybe not that well.
I once called
elevators alligators,
and my parents got a kick out of it.
I even continued to do it
long after I could pronounce the word,
just for them.
I once called
myself "Lori"
on a sheet of paper
simply because I was looking at her,
and not paying attention
to what I was writing.
I don't remember how I reacted.
I once called
my girlfriend
my fiancé.
She smiled.
It didn't last,
but
I don't regret it.
I once called
myself
a dedicated,
educated,
and generally gifted person,
and I genuinely believed I had something
other people didn't.
I've since learned that I don't.
I just have it in a different place.
It's all the same,
like a little boy
with a crush on a little girl,
showing his scars
as if she would appreciate them.
Hurting himself to impress her;
it's almost a metaphor.
Almost.
A contest entry
- Oy, there's a differently colored pawn on the chess board! by file not found.
405 points, ended April 23, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Who are you... Really? by Second Dance Reborn.
1050 points, ended November 10, 2008, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Well?
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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You have definitely caught my attention with this one...in fact, it's peaked. ^_^
This was excellent. I share all too much of this...especially the first stanza, and the last two. Your wording for these thoughts is impeccable and eye-catching.
What a great read. Well-deserving of both golds, I'd say with confidence. I look forward to reading more of your work. ^.^
--Flare
o}--{=======>
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No worries on the :P
Wow.
That's about all that came to mind when I read this poem. Your life is an interesting thing to look at poetically, and I enjoyed reading the result. A great write and you have my best wishes with you.
Sincerely,
Dragon of the West -
Excellent darn excellent
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Nicely written, but not quite what I was looking for.
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Great write. Kinda funny in a way... Thanks for entering
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Who are we if not our experiences?
Maybe snowflakes start out all the same
but get different on the way down.
I/he?
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The change of perspective is intentional, like looking at yourself as a then and now -- or maybe a more apt description is as a real and an ideal.
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brilliantly executed!
I love the way you portrayed the thoughts of feeling 'gifted' which then turned into a moment of clarity when you realised we are all different and that of itself is the true 'gift'!
Inspiring work indeedy
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Ty for entering and good luck
wow this is amazing -
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Appreciate it =)
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That was fun- life is a quirky plane of existence, no doubt. Very engaging, thank you!
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This was great. You put yourself out on a sheet of paper (figuratively speaking
) in such a characteristic manner, and it was great that instead of telling your likes and dislikes, you moulded yourself with the experiences you've had, and the things you've done. All in all, I think it was great 
Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x -
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Thanks a bunch!
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WOOOOOOOOW!!!! Ilove the title!
I once called myself my twin sister's name while I was introducing who was who to someone...that was weird. I also supposedly said "pass the katsup" in my sleep. (according to mysister) I also went into the guys bathroom at school when I thought no one was around because there was a sick girl in the girl's bathroom. Luckily I was still in the stall (there was only one stall) when a guy went into the bathroom, used the urinal, (luckily didn't need the stall) washed his hands and left. I was so scared I could have peed, but I already did. I even took the caution to take my flip-flops off just in case he liked to look at feet. (and no I didn't see anything! who do you take me for?!?) That was the strangest moment of my life! (besides having a dream about mini flying underwater chickens, but that's another story!) BOY! That poem helped me get a lot off my chest. I really had to get rid of that bathroom incident. Now I can go in peace! Thanks alot, and keep up the gutsy writing! -
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More than a full year after the fact... I appreciate the honesty. It must have had some real impact to get you to spill your guts so readily. That makes me quite proud, really ^_^
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wow! i am impressed. that is all i can say. that and i hope noone would hurt himself trying to impress me. thank you for sharing this. congratulations on the gold and i am looking forward to reading more from you. viyanna rosemarie
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More than a full year after the fact... Thank you greatly for the congrats, and don't worry... guys are stupid lol
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Congratulations on your gold. I got a kick out of your title and decided to click.
Not sure what the contest was about but obviously the host thought it was a winner.
As they say around here, keep on writing.
Lisa -
i can see why you got the gold for this, it's a brilliant write, testimony for a generation. I loved every second of reading it. Thats a masterpiece right there, catchy right from the title down to the end. Brilliant job, absolutely magnificent!!
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Thank you greatly ^_^
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Nicely put
This poem shows that humans are full of mistakes but they dont constantly dwell on them. -
That was funny. I like it! good job! nothing i would fix!
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This is beautifully written... really, there is not one thing that I can see to point out that's negative
well done!
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well alrighty then...
I intended to enter... and i don't even know you but as far as i'm concerned you've swept this contest up! i personally know i truley enjoyed a peice when the first thoughts out of my brain are "i want to write that!" my desire to emmulate this work of genius is (supposed to be) a sign of how telanted i think you are and how effortlessly you penned pure eloquence and beauty onto paper....
i appreciate and worship you.... and i don't even really know you haha...
(looking back i think that was a really akward way to say that i think this is a fantastical poem.... but as long as i got the point across with some zest then sckrew the akwardness.... you get the picture!)
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That's some glowing praise, indeed. I don't know that I've ever heard someone say that they "worship" me lol, but thank you greatly =)
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wounderfully written my love this is very good to what memoreys is it a trubut to though i wounder? reminds me of how the book "ordinary people" was written...
Ja Ne
Luna ShadowCat -
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I suppose it's a bit of an allegory, to be honest. It's a pattern that seems to follow me throughout my life.
Thank you for the kind words =)
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Gasp! I love this. It is very personal and touchy... a piece of poetry indeed. Good luck!
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You have left me speachless! You have a talent for writing poetry that is beyond words. At first glance, it looks like you have no style, no rhyming or meter, no real emotion, and no metaphors, imagery, or anything that a truly great poet would use. Normally when I read a poem like this, I would just read the first stanza, think that it sucked, and then make up a great comment for that person. But for some reason I kept reading your poem. And whatever that reason was, I am thankful for. Because this poem kept me in and made me continue reading. It is amazing, truly. Your words have such power, emotion, a creativity... and I loved the ending. Very well done! You have a wonderful talent and I'm very pleased to see someone like yourself joining us at this site. Keep up the great work!
Welcome to AllPoetry!
--Tim
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Thank you muchly, greatly appreciated =)
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