my phone
is sitting
in my pocket
the battery ran out earlier
and i'm too scared to recharge it
i told myself you'd text me.
i told myself you'd say you loved me.
after all, it's valentine's day
and you're you
good, old, romantic, beatiful, you
i know i have to turn it on eventually
i just can't let eventually
be right
now.
Author notes
I Love Him. He Doesn't Love Me. Simple.
[[but why can't he?]]
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Interesting
"...and you're you
good, old, romantic, beatiful, you..." beautiful...but, anyone can have a typo...but that line...rather makes the write, I think...
you have so many ways to go, wonderful to read you, here there and everywhere and piece it all together...
amicus...
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Hm, alright firstly I know what it feels like to have feelings for someone and they have none of the same back. It's so hard to just forget about them and move on.
This seems like a good poem for this day and age ...
"the battery ran out earlier
and i'm too scared to recharge it
i told myself you'd text me.
i told myself you'd say you loved me"
--cellphones, texting it's what people are these days. This piece is sad ... damn love! -
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Damn love indeed. Damn Valentine's Day, and Damn Hallmark.
Noise&&Kisses
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Heyy this is really neat. It has no capitalization, which makes me think a teenager is writing it [idk if that is what you are looking for] and also, for the last line, It is good. And yet, you broke up 'be right' and 'now'. I am not sure if I like that. Since it was that way you read now before you hit the right and it gets mixed up. But then again, when you have the now inline with the 'be right' idk if that now would lose meaning..
anyway, great write!
~WU -
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Thanks for that comment, it was helpful.. and yeah, I am a teenager [13]. But most of the time, none of my poems have capitalization anyway. I like them better that way. I'm not sure why.
Noise&&Kisses
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awww.
sweetface!
hang in there...
[he doesn't know what he's missing.]
&& i absolutely adore you.
[thats why we are getting married!]
muah! -
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ILoveLoveLoveYarr Sweets.
Noise&&Kisses
♥x♥
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I know exactly how you feel. But I have this thing, out of sight, out of mind, right? Wrong, I still think about him even when I don't see him. And when I do he's with his other girlfriend...and he hates me. Sorry you feel like this. Great write.
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He might like me.. we're supposed to be friends.. But I suck at gauging love, so how do I know if it's more than that?
Noise&&Kisses
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