Untitled.
I love you ever so much my pretty little misery
but don't think for a second that I need you.
We let our lives be built upon hope
yet hope is weak just like our strength.
All the dreams we had for each other
shows our adolescent hearts
I love you, would die for you
yet don't believe that I couldn’t do without you,
Because I can. You say I'm so negative
lover I'm not.
I just know that hope cant last forever,
I know about reality and how bad it hurts,
lover wake up!
We're not okay, we're loosing our grip on each other,
our nothing fights are getting worse and so is our tempers.
Why does love have to hurt so good?
Why do we care?
Stop liing about pathetic things, and I'll stop trying to always be right.
Do we really have any trust?
people say you can't have love without trust,
well that's bullshit,
we love each other full heartedly... and there is little trust.
Is our love built on hate? Is it alright, if we're completely satisfied with that?
I hate it when you prove me wrong
You hate it when I complain
hate hate hate hate hate hate hate
I love you.
Author notes
i believe i'm getting worse at writting how feel, i feel as if i cant get my point across and even if i do, it sounds bad
A contest entry
- **Blue Eyes and Secret Smiles by Ohriginality.
525 points, ended May 29, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Great!
This is...amazing. It doesn't sound bad at all; perhaps it's a bit confusing, but aren't your emotions confusing? I certainly got your point, and loved it. There is so much emotion in this piece, and conveyed wonderfully.
The only suggestion I have is that sometimes the rhythm seems a little bit awkward; you might look at that.
Other than that, it was wonderful. I thought you conveyed your emotions very well, especially given their complexity, and I believe everyone can certainly relate. I loved the ending:
"hate hate hate hate hate hate hate
I love you."
So simple a last line, especially after the rest of the piece, yet it fits. Again, awesome job, and keep writing!
~QoA
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thanks!
thank you so much for your helpful comment
i really do appreciate it, thanks again.
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