sincerity in the voices of talking hawks
I try to find the answer and he gawks
polished lies hit me like a storm
the tragedy in your stories are warm
the soul of truth around the scarred corner
it sits there like a hurt mourner
lies from your lips cold and near
these tears of my heart (your memories are dear)
golden wrapped hearts in denial
I’ve been looking for the answer (forever a mile)
justified ice coated burned souls
they found the truth (there aren't goals)
so my eyes glimmer in your direction clearly
take your time im here forever
you can't do it can you? (could you ever?)
lies from your lips cold and near
these tears of my heart (your memories are dear)
golden wrapped hearts in denial
I’ve been looking for the answer (forever a mile)
(forever...a mile)
the curls of truth and respect
something you wouldn’t expect
light explodes in your direction (forever more)
it happens so much your heart gets sore
your dirty secrets are dead
(just like everything else you said)
lies from your lips frosty and clear
those tears of my heart (your memories not so dear)
my golden wrapped heart was in denial
I’ve found the answer and it's vile
(it's vile!)
I’ve found the answer, and it's
vile
Author notes
my chemical romance inspired lyrics!! woot
Option 4~Write a song. It can be about absolutly anything.
- Non Vampires Who Hate People Pretendin group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Write me a song to scream my heart out to. by ThisIsMyWonderland.
300 points, ended March 18, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hallelujah, Lock And Load - My Chemical Romance Inspired Lyrics/Poems by Death of the Author.
700 points, ended February 19, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Love of music by saxophonicwolf.
550 points, ended March 4, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - One Hundred Poems by Lady-Pegasus.
700 points, ended April 10, 2007, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Gonna Wannna Use Those Unlimited Entries by TWiSTEDxCUPCAKE.
700 points, ended April 22, 2007, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lyricists and Songwriters!! by Andy Stephenson.
800 points, ended May 12, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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This is a great song, in my opinion its definitely a first place winner. i loved this verse.
"the curls of truth and respect
something you wouldn’t expect
light explodes in your direction (forever more)
it happens so much your heart gets sore
your dirty secrets are dead
(just like everything else you said)"
Great job, keep up the lovely work.
jan
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ty =)
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You're over here, too!
Lyrics, Lyrics, Lyrics & Songwriters group... not much activity in either one, is there.
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I like parts of your lyrics, if they were mine I'd probably scrap the rhyme all together though.
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:)
You've done a good job of side-stepping a lot of lyrical cliches with the rhyming.
I've got a tip though, take it as you will...
Maybe you could try to think of rhyming by vowel sound instead of the entire word ending.
the curls of truth and respect
something you wouldn’t expect
light explodes in your direction (forever more)
it happens so much your heart gets sore
your dirty secrets are dead
(just like everything else you said)
For example: "respect" can work with "intent"
"more" can work with "hoard"
"dead" can work with "meant"
I only picked that lyrical section because of the very clear rhyme scheme, not because it particularly sticks out to me...
Just wanted to share a tactic I use sometimes.
I'd love to hear this set to music. -
Thanks
Thanks for entering my contest. I really appreciate it. This song doesn't seem quite right for a happy anniversary, but the lyrics are good. Do you have a melody for it?
Andy -
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no but i want to write one, =p sorry bout the not being annaversery part hehe, my parents just had an anaversery tho!hehe well thx for reading anyways =)
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very nice
A very nice song ... Well done and tahnks for the entry
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Thank you for your contest submission, I do need to ask you review the rules and edit your submission appropriately. Please IM me and let me know this has been done, thank you.
Very intriguing write, I wuite liked it thanks.
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I like this!
The lyrics here are very interesting and the rhymes unusual. The rhythm also is good and I hear a melody as I read this song. Have you composed a melody?
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The beginning had me worried, I wouldn't trust that rhyme, if it were mine. It just seemed out of place and bland. Compaired to the rest of the poem, it looks weak. I did enjoy it a lot, but some lines are hard to get over. You did a wonderful impression of Geard's style of writing, so cnngrats. Good Luck and thanks for entering.
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lies, lies, lies, and lies
the world cannot hold much misery anymore
more lies about a world that never was and never will be...Hav you no shame can't you see me... but you know you've got everybdy fooled (evanessence)
but what i see here ios agony, hurt and pain...
we are all looking for the truth.... Where is it? -
Loved the "Take your time, I'm here forever" line.
Actually, loved it all. Fixed capitalization, etc. would help the reading process, but otherwise I've got no complaints. -
Nice song! You have talent! Thank you for entering and good luck!
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YOU SUCK-not.
This is my favorite poem in the contest. As a poem it's better than anything MCR writes. I wish I could hear it sung! The end reminds me of the book Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad - "The horror, the horror"
Actually wow this is one of my favorite poems I've read on here, I can't think of one that stands out I liked more. Seriously. -
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wow! tyvm!!
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haha, i love those guys... i was thinking that this sounded kinda familiar but not exactly as i was reading it, now i know why. very cool, love the ending lines just like the guys would do it with your own touch. great work.
-mandy
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ty!
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Thank you very much for entering my contest, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Best of luck, keep it up and take care x
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ty and u too
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they found the truth (there aren't goals)
that disproves many reasons justified -
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i wasn't trying to b justified i just wanted it to sound good...=p lol
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There's some spelling erros maye a slight bit of rushing in the second stanza (second paragraph)
Very defferent and emotional nice poem
yet their was some unorignal metaphors/similies i saw that didn't balnce the few i saw that were good. -
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tyvm for the coment
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This is a very good poem you penned here, you mispelled the word answer you should use spell check apart from that this is a great poem. Your rhythm and rhyme flowed beautifully throughout the entire poem good luck in the contest
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tyvm for the comment
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very impressive lyrics and spelling mistakes aside, your flow is lovely, almost rappish in cadence - the fact that this is in a contest does not diminish the quality at all, so many poems that are written for contests seem to be hurried, rushed - this is not one of those, the time you took shows and makes this a most enjoyable read. It stands well, apart from any contest. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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tyvm!!!
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this is good.
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thx
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this was amazing!!! I can already imagine it put it on guitar chords the word choices are quite powerful and the rhythm is simly vrilliant!well done and keep up!
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tyvm!
im glad it was good, i'll keep em goin then =p
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