You’re my morning, be my evening,
and at last when endless night
comes upon me, dims my seeing,
be my promised final light.
You’re my springtime, be my autumn
and, when winter’s snowfall deep
melts into the darkened water,
be my slipway into sleep.
You’re my starting, be my ending.
Time will not relent, its pace
measures; so without regretting,
let it wash away my face.
Life is wonder, live in earnest
when my clear footmark is gone;
and, when I am lost in my rest,
down the road of dreams – walk on.
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Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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I sit back and sigh with this one. "You're my starting, be my ending..." I don't know - this entire poem gave me a lump in my throat. It's beautiful.
Love, Lane
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Now this one IS a personal one, cuz. And I think you felt it the way I wrote it.
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<
No, the 2nd person viewpoint continues, with the imperative "live in earnest when my clear footmark is gone". That follows a simple statement ("Life is wonder"), which is addressed to the object of the poem. Even if it had been a clear transition, I would have counted it valid, as such a transition is often used in the last verse of poems, to give the equivalent of a coda (to use a musical term) and to add finality.
However, thank you for your perspicacious observations, and for your praise. It is flattering to be compared to EB. -
I love this...
Beautiful in its rhyme and content...
Emotion and sweet sounds of love heard here and I love the ending...
Lynda
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I love this...
Beautiful in its rhyme and content...
Emotion and sweet sounds of love heard here and I love the ending...
Lynda
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You liked it so much you commented twice. Thank you for your appreciation.
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such splendour about this one!
nicely done
~aj~
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Your rhyming skills are phenomenal ~shaking head~
This has an almost sad feel to it despite the fact it is about love ... sometimes we have to kiss a million frogs before we find our princes huh?
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I have lost count of the frogs, hon.
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Excellent poem with a great rhyming pattern and smooth rhythm that erupting straight from the soulful heart...I really enjoyed this poem. keep writing...thank you
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Thank YOU.
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Wonderful
True poetry from the heart .I love your unrestrained words and feelings that have a melody all of their own. Your poems have a voice that is uniquely yours and yours alone and although I am lacking knoeledge and experience in poetry the voice that is your words always entrances me in wonder.
Great stuff.
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Thank you, Bazza
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i pick up on hope here to begin with then love, but then also an underlying coat of independence. i could and will counter with this to me is not what i would read but once readingi did enjoy and appreciate. we're all gods throwing snowballs at each other from clouds.
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Indeed we are.
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Mairi
Beautiful Valentine's poem. Did you go to college?
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Thank you. And yes, I did.
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A true honor to read your work
Ah so lovely and gently write. I felt love and peace when I read it. A calming in my soul that rest upon my heart. I love the way you broke up the stances. (Lisa)
"You’re my springtime, be my autumn
and, when winter’s snowfall deep
melts into the darkened water,
be my slipway into sleep."
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It is an honour to be read and appreciated, Lisa.
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what's going on with "is settled; so without regretting"? Otherwise, nice.
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(second reply)
ea, the unstressed "is" though technically breaking the rhythm and introducing an extra syllable, is almost a 'grace-note' to the stressed first syllable of "settled". I felt the verse could carried it. However, I have made the whole more regular by substituting the word "measures". It carries a slightly stronger meaning, now implying that time itself imposes and is definite and defining. How does it seem to you? -
ea, it runs thus:
Time will not relent, its pace is settled//
So without regretting, let it wash away my face//
The sense is this: that the loved one is being told that time ticks on with its own set regularity; she should have no regrets about time removing my face from memory.
Clearer now?
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yes, it doesn't catch me up this way.
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That's good. Thank you for your help.
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Aaahhh the wonder of your words, wonderful. Happy loving Mairi..
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Thanks Bazza, you ray of sunshine.
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I love it, and very interesting style and rhyming scheme. Very creative and unique indeed. Keep writing from within.
See you around the deep end
moment liver
SBMH -
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I never swim anywhere else.
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The supposed "deep end" is referring to the vastness of ap and I just might run into you sometime in the future, but highly unlikely, but looking forward to it if we do.
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The image of AP as the local municipal swimming baths is a nice one.
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lol, thanks
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This is simply beautiful. It has such a lovely flow and I can just imagine someone sending this as a valentine. Very well done!
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Thank you. That is exactly what I did with it, to the tearful delight of the recipient.
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oohwee
Darling dreammummy
Whenever I need ease
from fitful nightmare sleep
I read you please
to my heart keep.
Smooshies.
Janet
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Dear Dreamkid - That is the first time anyone has commented "oohwee" to any of my work.
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Beautiful!
Oh, I knew I added you as a favorite for a reason! This poem brings such beauty to death and longing and sadness.
It awakes the soul and it makes it listen to every word.
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Another comment that makes me blush, and I don't know what to say in return. Thank you for your assessment, March.
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No words good enough ... I am speechless.
One of the most beautiful poems I've read at this site. 
The lines reach out with the purest sincerity and sweetness. 
It makes me proud to know you and be invited to enter in to your esteemed mind. 
Melodies
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I am touched by your comment, Melodies.
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