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oak touch (terzanelle #22)

 

sepia leaves and branches shade
the supple parchment of your years
rooted deep in stardust dreams

wind shimmers through the boughs of time
beneath an ever phasing moon
the supple parchment of your years

bares the mark of ancient grace
that rustles by a canyon's edge
beneath an ever phasing moon

grasses lap gray plates of bark
spread throughout a billowed crown
that rustles by a canyon's edge

with each new breeze like subtle gems
glimmers softly in the dark
spread throughout a billowed crown

writhing in elusive light
the serpent beauty of your form
glimmers softly in the dark

etched against the realm of night
sepia leaves and branches shade
the serpent beauty of your form
rooted deep in stardust dreams

 

 

Author notes

to learn more about the terzanelle: http://allpoetry.com/Column/784852/

In a list

Thoughts, Feelings, Interpretations, Experience:

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Anasacia
    June 6, 2007
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    Wow! I can picture what your saying. The way you put the words together is beautiful

  • cafegroundzero silver member
    May 21, 2007

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    Beauty? expressed in powerful graceful images

    Your verse is like a fine liquor, which should best be appreciated by a connaisseur, one experienced in the joys of the tone, the rhythm, the alliteration of the consonant sounds and altered assonance of the vowels, so well blended as Zatarain's spice cajun mix.


    • Zahhar gold member
      May 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      really appreciate your vote of confidence.

  • brown paper bag
    February 14, 2007

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    I like the repetition of certain lines.this particular poem gives a richness with how you wrote the imagery.Sometimes I read poetry and it's like I'm reading a painting.You give balance with the calm like serenity.A beautiful poem and very soothing to me.A person who finds it hard to be soothed LOL.
    ~Helen

    . Rewarded 4

  • Kay Laon Anders
    February 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Starting Over

    This is what this gives...a feeling of newness..a flicker of hope with something different in life that will have a positive effect..I am sorry that I have not been ontop of commenting on your work but I still have been reading it...something always comes up when I am on allpoetry lately..chores..homework..workout time...voice excercises..the list goes on and on..I am sincerely happy for your new found happiness...you seem to be more upbeat..go you!..I was goofin about the married thing last night..have not had the chance to be a spaz in a while with all the dying going on around here..sooo yeah..lol...anyways I wish you the best still... "the serpent beauty of your form" kind of gave me other thoughts..lol...great write dudeman

    KAY

    . Rewarded 4


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    February 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    beauty with wings........

    You flew so far from the branch.......
    trios of lines
    7-8-8-7.......Other than 2nd,3rd,4th with 8s in the final lines.Not that it matters to me, but thought I'd suggest/ask if it is part of it.
    Alliteration and form make this unconfined.
    Could you teach it?
    Teach it. Really,


    Without doctrine, ambiguity can be the underlying need
    for the reader's interpretation and/or layer that doesn't require immediate explanation. I've learned that free verse has done that for me, in spite of my deep iambic roots.
    If for any reason you feel freed with this one, I'll come from elder appraising in an agreement.
    "writhing in elusive light
    the serpent beauty of your form
    glimmers softly in the dark"-- *serpent* is freeing!
    I'd love to see this one caption a painting of your own or another's whose vision needs it, since there are wonderful layers!

    I will post a 'ditto-plus' on AllPoetry so that others can see how important form can mix with interpretation.

    . Rewarded 4


  • fromzerotonothing
    February 13, 2007

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    this is amazing and beautifull.... a lot of imagery and i like the fact that you repeat certain lines... great job!!!

  • grannyeri gold member
    February 13, 2007

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    Have never written one of these, but they read so nicely and one can seee the repetitive lines as the poem progresses. Works well in this poem. Lovely write.
  • Molassis gold member
    February 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Man, you're poems are always soooooo friggin amazing. The imagery, rhythm, form... all just so exquisite. You do this form so well.. it really seems to suit you but the things you capture with your pen are glorious and grand, leaving me almost breathless at times...

    You see things the way I see them... but I can't write them the way I see them... and you seem to be able to.. I think that's what I like most about your poetry... you capture what I long to capture...

    Also, you don't have to use these huge words that I have to run and look up... but you use the simple language in such an amazing manner that they create this web of beauty that just spirals around on the page...

    This poem is extravagant... enchanting and inviting. It held me spellbound and demanded my complete attention to it's every word... I wanted to go to where you were writing about... wanted to be a part of it... and see what you were seeing... to experience.. and was actually able to, through your words...

    This poem leaves me with such a feeling of grace and peace...

    Amazing.. the way you write...

    ~Melissa

    . Rewarded 4

1 - 9 of 9