The Moralizing Atheist:
So wronged
So angry
Hypocrisy feels his mouth with bile
The judgement ties a knot in his throat
Scalding hot memories
as sharp and biting
as a father's abuse,
a mother's neglect
Maybe the rector said that
his dog wouldn't go to heaven
Those who judge sicken him
He must judge them
The inhibited disgust him
so he must constrain himself by
his own fickle consience instead
The Reasonable Atheist:
So scientific
So rational
Lives in the empirical
Dwells on the tangible
so she cannot love her daughter
until psychology catches up with her
The Little Atheist:
And then, of course, the masqueraders
Those who attend the ball in costumes
as the angry atheist
as the scientific objector
but really revel in
the freedom it grants them
to pick their nose
behind the mask
Little atheist, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Gave thee life, and bade thee choose
Use thy brain to think and muse;
Gave thee voices cold and dire
That thou mightest vent thine ire;
Gave thee leave to turn astray
To pursue thy fruitless ways?
Little atheist, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Author notes
The last stanza is modeled after The Lamb by William Blake.
I don't like atheism. I can deal with literally any other religious persuasion on the planet. Muslim? Fine with me. Hindu? That's great. Wiccan? Sound's good. Atheist? How depressing (and boring) Once more, I put the disclaimer that this is just my opinion and you are more than welcome to disagree. You are entitled to think whatever you want. I only ask that the same service be granted to me. If you think I'm a stupid Christian, you can just shake your head and move on and we won't get on each other's nerves anymore.
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I love the last lines of the first stanza. Made me laugh!
Everybody needs something to believe in. One quote i heard (Probably from a movie) "Mother is God in the eyes of a child" so even if the child is an athiest they have something to have faith in.
Otherwise your screwed!
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In my opinion Atheism is just as bad as every other faith-based religion (by which I mean, having blind faith that there's no God is just as irrational as having blind faith that there is.)--Only Atheists always seem to feel like they've got something to be arrogant about.--Religion in general just makes me cringe. Anyway--Here's what I think of the poem:
Concerning your presentation of the message itself:
You shoot yourself in the foot somewhat in the first section. What I mean by that is--You're being incredibly judgemental about just how judgemental a certain group of people is. Ironic, no?
Right then, stylistically speaking:
In my opinion, it lacked subtlety. The entire work had a certain belligerence to it that made it seem in essence, sophistic. If you really want to *convince* people of something (as you are in this poem), tone it down a bit. A few lines of cold hard rage can be good, but to me this sounds like somewhat of a meaningless tirade. You can do pleanty of damage without yelling about anything.
And technically:
Very nice, actually. You've got a good sense of language and technique. I'm not entirely sure of what the lowercase letters at the beginings of the lines in the last section add to the piece, but that's a personal preference (you must have done it for *some* reason--I'm probably just missing it.)
Sorry for writing so much,
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Actually, I don't really think I'm trying to make an underlying point beyond being judgmental is stupid. And yes it is ironic that that in and of itself is a judgement. The key here is whether or not a judgement is blind. People obviously have the right to have opinions. The problem I have is with people who are so convinced they are right that they will not entertain any suggestion of something different. The poem is belligerent, but it is addressed at a certain type of belligerent people. Those people are not all atheists, but rather some key categories of atheists if you will. I do not like atheism, but I believe there are atheists who are honest people who are not judgmental or narrowminded and have arrived at their decision through long and careful thought. I am not judging atheists so much as the act of judging blindly or emotionally with little regard to much of anything except what they personally want to be true. If anything about this poem is truly abrasive I think it is the author's note which can be easily amended. The title references the "little" atheist not just any atheist. I could just as easily write this poem using key categories of Christians or Muslims or any religious group and if fact have written another poem called Without Excuse that discusses how all of these groups are in many ways equally guilty of being narrowminded, unwilling to listen to differing opinions, and prone to getting caught up on pedantic details. The poem is meant to be belittling to people who are completely convinced they are right, but cannot defend their belief or who are unwilling to listen to differing opinions and even to consider them and especially to the "little" atheist or in essence the hypocrite, someone who pretends to be something not because they actually believe it but because they like what it lets them do or the attention it gets them. Obviously this could just as easily refer to some Christians. If you are a reasonable person who can defend your position with precision and intelligence because it is thouroughly thought out, this poem should not be threatening. It is only threatening to people who feel it applies to them. I did not mean to come across as yelling and do not really think the poem flows as such. Condescending perhaps, but not screaming. I too agree that blind faith is very dangerous because it prompts the very sort of thing this poem is about. I should perhaps delete the author's note which I freely admit was more dictated by passion than reason. It distracts from the true intent of this poem. I believe that in a decision of this magnitude that heart and the head should have equal dominion over any decision that is made. Acting blindly with no empirical evidence is irrational and dangerous, but relying entirely on empirical evidence is equally dangerous. In that case, we cannot truly know anything beyond the fact that we exist. There is always Descartes' Evil Daemon afterall. Oh yea, and the lines that aren't capilized are lines that don't start a sentence. Someone else complained about me capitalizing every line. I've gotten to where I don't really mess with punctuation at the end of lines or capitalization unless it's just unreadable or increadiably distracting. Oh well, I'll look at it later.
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"The key here is whether or not the judgement is blind"
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Very true, and obviously I don't know whether it is or not in your case (I can't judge your judgement
) because I've never talked to you before--I don't know how you think but--The way it came across (I think it all comes back to my quams about the tone) was as a sort of a "blind judgement"--Clearly (by your comment) this is not the case, but it was the most immediate thought that came to me when I read the poem (without talking to you about it.)--And we're talking about your poetry, not your philosophy (which actually sounds quite stable by the by, I think we'd agree on many things.)
"I did not mean to come across as yelling, and do not really think the poem flows as such"
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Just telling you the way I (as a reader) heard it. The problem with writing poetry is that it's seldom if ever read just the way you originally intended.
As for the capitals, I prefer capitals at the beginings of lines because it seems cleaner to me (don't know why) but it's whatever you like, I suppose
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Love it Don't change a thing.
That is how I think atheists are divided into those three groups but you are not a stupid Chirstian in any matter. I also don't like atheism as a matter of fact I think it's a joke personally along with Scientology. Good Job keep writing.
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