Drink after drink
feeling so great.
Burning my throat more and more
with each powerful sip.
Growing more tipsy,
My mind fills with thoughts
I don't usually have.
Trying to stop drinking.
But the force is too strong.
Or maybe I am just too weak.
Now I am heading to Rehab,
to get help for my little problem
Too bad I didn't know how bad it really was.
My mind going crazy
wishing I had some booze
To free myself.
My hands are starting to shake.
My throat burning.
Breaking down in tears
night after night.
Begging for just one sip
just one taste.I have a nervous breakdown.
Wanting It
Craving It
Needing It.
They respond with a Shot,
to calm my nerves
I fall asleep.
Drinking on my mind.
Days pass and the cravings slowly fade.
I am released back into the world.
Free of My addiction of Alcohol.
But being free is not easy.
was more trouble than starting in the first place.
But I Survived.
To-Day I am free.
" Free At Last,"
Author notes
This was co-authored by Me and My Grandaughter
Option #2
A contest entry
- Rhyming Contest - 6 options come see (AP Family Wanted) by GenUWinePoet.
700 points, ended April 14, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
-
Good one! I like the changing meaning of the word 'free.'
Thanks for entering!
-Dlvvanzor -
forgot the applause.
-
I have read this before, I'm working with people who had this addiction for years, and following rehabs over and over but couldn't hang on to life itself.
And now they can't think straight anymore, some don't even know wich day it is...
Sad if life knocks you down...
Great if life comes back to you and you survive..although it will always be a fight against it...
XXJeannette
( and now I'm off to your prewrite
)
-
This is a great write dealing with addiction. Thanks so much for entering it in the contest. Great write!!!
-
A very good piece, Ed. The collaboration btween yu and your granddaughter is well done, hitting on the craziness that an addiction can bring. I'm glad it's over and congratulate you on winning the battle.
Dee
-
I like the descriptions that you and your grandaughter used. I liked how you wrote it like a thought or a journal entry.I love the story behind this, mine is similar so I can relate. I'm glad that you overcame your addiction to alcohol and are free.
Maybe if you broke the poem up into stanzas it would help on the effect instead of making it feel like a run on. Good job and good luck in the contest. -
-
Edited
I took your advice and broke it up into stanzas .
Hope you will take another look at it .
would appreciate your opinion.
ED. -
-
It looks much better broken up. It's more structured that way, good job!
-
-
-
Yes...we can attain "freedom" from addiction but we must always be mindful that that old demon is lurking in the shadows, waiting for an opportunity to strike us against the head with a powerful blow. We must stay on guard. I feel the urgency in your words. That urgency that made/makes us "want, crave, think we need..." the drink and drug...whatever the addiction.
Very well written poet. Thank you for this entry and I wish you well in this challenge and life.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
-
this hits home the hard way. My son is 40 and an alcohaulic. He doesn't want to be free of it; he says it's the only thing that stops him from being angry all the time ... and from killing himself. So sad to have booze as one's closest companion. I felt this one. Thank you for your entry.
-
Cool!
You portrayed the dangers of drinking here very well. Best of luck in the contest! -
You and your granddaughter huh? I think that's awesome that you can write something so raw and real together. It really shows the connection you can have if you overcome the barrier of age and family!
I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it does to me! 
Great piece, thanks for entering and good luck.
-
Great write! It takes alot of strength and courage to admit you have a problem and then quiting! Good for you! Life has to seem alot better! Thanks for entering and God bless!
-
This is really a amazing peice... i loved it especially as i know it needs strong will power to come out of this habit.. You have captured it so well....great peice of work...
-
That's great! I love the recovery aspect of it.
Keep up the great writing skills.
-
beautiful. thank you for entering my contest and I wish you the very best of luck!
-
A most powerful look at the life of an alcholic. You really captured the emotions and the harm it can do very well. My Dad was one. He never sought help. But maybe others can. So well done! God bless! Smiles, Terry
-
Praise God that you're free at last
I was married to a raging alcoholic and drug abuser; the alcohol and his drugs were his first love; not his wife and children
I'm proud of you; may you always be free of this addiction...I will pray for you -
what a dark write but oh so much truth in it. my father was and husband is a recovered alcoholic. what you have written just barely covers it, but you did good conveying this much. people don't understand alcoholism and think its easy to kick. each day they have to repeat "I am free" keep writing. God bless you
-
-
FREE AT LAST
Thank you Debilynn for your kind comment on my entry Free AT Last This was Co-Authored by Me and My Grandaughter She deserves most of the credit because it was her experience that inspired the poem. And you are right it only covered a very small portion of the total story. (check her poetry out.( mymutilatedsoul)
Seems like too many people don't care anymore I put this on Feb.13th and you are the only comment so far.
Thank you for caring.
Your AP.Friend.
ARLIE
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 20 of 20
