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My First...

Drowning in the madness
My all time low

Giving into temptation
I let the blade go.

Such a sweet intoxicating feeling
The look of crimson against my skin

 

This habit, the rush of my flesh peeling

The wounds..kept hidden.

 

I sigh, pulse racing

a shiver of delight and a cringe of fear

 

The truth, I'm facing to try with all my might

Sadness sheds a single tear

 

Comming down from the high, I notice all the signs

My heartbeat slows...no longer hoping to burst

 

I bandage the wound tight, to think soon it will happen many times

A cut...Crimson...This was my first.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Vicious Kitten
    March 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed reading this. The emotion packed into the short 16 lines, delivered a knock-out impact that im sure people wouldnt be able to express with 30 lines...
    Keep it up!

    Ps- Im glad you enjoyed "The Edgar Effect."
    I have a new one up now, seems like im on a roll today lol.

  • gdog
    February 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    cutting the skin feeling the meat rip watching blood poor fuck this life let's go tight skin lose brain insain fuck the blade tape the the cut no more for the blood still pour's good write


  • screamin2u
    February 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Great write

    Good flow
    Good emotion
    you get your point across
    keep it up
    good luck in the contest


  • Gay-Militant
    February 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very well done. but this doesn't go under the dark genre as much as it would fit the angst genre. Just because this more goes under the big difference where a dark poem is usually like marilyn manson, where this is more like Evanescence. Not in the sense of context, but more in the idea of intensity. ya know what i mean? but this was very well written, and the tinges of the dark genre that were portrayed were beautiful. amazing job!


  • dead inside an out
    February 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    Great write.

1 - 5 of 5