Our beloved ancient homestead
In God's Name I
hear feet upon planks
arising with a sigh
children complaining potty pranks.
Past cast iron tub
is ivory tiled bath
with remembered back rubs
echoing suds and laughs.
I behold divine light
exposing crown molded ceilings
wafting through curtains right
in one corner pealing.
My closet, cedar wood,
smells like a forest
with shelfs which withstood
two centuries of tests.
My bedroom hearth cool
embers behind metal skirt.
Before last evening's tool
lay crumpled night shirts.
Slippers traipse rugged floors
embracing ancient oaken boards
knocking on enameled doors
"Rise my manor lords!"
Donning robe, I descend
down central stairs when
one crystal chandelier bends
light into prisms again.
On right, mud room
left, salons, great, small
and behind kitchen rooms
connected by little halls.
I open entrance door
to collect morning news
and say once more
"Home, God bless you."
Turning in side closet
saying "Lets baptize here!"
my beloved companion wet
embracing me, "Oh dear!"
by Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari
Author notes
Peace
Dear friends
I love ideas like this and it is my type of house a Federal Style colonial in America also called Georgian Style in the UK. Brick understated dignified. Yes I can do this and I tried my best.
I wanted something that should not only show a home but expose a good natured love of home life and being in a family with just a bit of mischievous spice. I hope I achieved it. I dream of this for my beloved companion one day not too distant in our future.
Peace
Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari
In a list
A contest entry
- What's in a house? Contest by JeannieD Hunter.
1000 points, ended February 19, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Discriptive
You have done such a wonderful job of displaying imagery and emotion Not only for a well loved home but the future of a well loved companion to share it with. Excellent content and flow. Words here fit like a warm glove. I could breath the air you do and feel the sun in the morning. Well done my friend. Good luck in the contest, Don
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This was beautifully descriptive. I could imagine everything. Great job!
~Mon Amour Ange
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Superb.
Beautifully observed with descriptive expression and with such imagery.You took me there.
I have taken the liberty of placing it in my personal library.
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This is a wonderful look at the past. A look inside that beautiful house. The rooms and closets, just great. Thanks so much for this entry and good luck. Jeannie and James
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Yes, a house is not a home, until the family is there within it. Like the heart, it becomes the center of being.
A house
is not a home
until opens the door
and the family spreads their love,
"we're home!"
Good luck in the contest!
Smooshes.....................
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This is one of the most imagraic poems I've read in a long time. I love it. You can instantly recognize the sentimentality, the good and the bad while at the same time avoiding the cliche.
Donning robe, I descend
down central stairs when
one crystal chandelier bends
light into prisms again.
Your pace is perfect, good meter. Of all the organs in my body this poem appealed to, it wrung most the anxiety of my heart. Planks and pranks stanza was an awkward if not forced rhyme. Which was too bad given its placement so early on in the poem. I did gather your children were very mischeivous though.
"smells like a forest
with shelfs which withstood"
There's too much of a common sound in these 2 lines. Quite the tongue twister.
Those are my only points of real contention. Good write
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Knock, knock, knock...
Darling sol
I heard your taps
upon these ancient doors
renovated after your rap
requires one more explore.
Smooshies
Janet
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Love it
Absolutely beautiful
I know the feeling of loving a home so much, and you express it so wonderful.
*thumbsup*
"My closet, cedar wood,
smells like a forest
with shelfs which withstood
two centuries of tests."
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this is wonderful! The love you feel for your home very clear, and yet it is not a museum piece...clearly it is well lived in, well loved, ad you don't mind poking a little bit of fun at its dignity. Wonderful,trul
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My brother and his love,
Blessed be those who allow God to dictate the pace and circumstances of their fate. Patience, is more than a virtue, it is a requirement of true, lasting love. Uhhhhh, can I have the painting contract?
Your loving brother
JD
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You didn't mention the guest room...
Darling you and boo
Will I get stuck
in an attic room
or with my luck
with mops and brooms.
Smoosh
Janet
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I believe, due to my audacity, I can speak answer of that question Janet. The only thing you are stuck with is My and Abduls unwavering love and adoration of you. so deal with it.
Dad
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How beautiful...
Your words took me right into this home...
Gave me visualizations of each room...
Made me smell the scents within...
Amazing...
xo
Sahabah
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Can I visit your new homestead, auntie, please
Darling auntie
Maybe your den converts
with a sleeping couch.
We can gobble desserts
in gowns and grouch.
Smoosh
Janet
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