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Rats

Born in a box of filth
from the rats of the street,
scraping for pocket change
to join the other side,
the parents were children.
Though these faceless creatures
were called by mom and dad,
the small boy only knew
the demonic darkness.
The child's hate turned to cries,
which turned to running scared,
which quickly lead him straight
to the source of the rats,
where he realized the truth.
Rats don't have mice for kids.

Author notes

"When bunnies attack the inner sanctum of other fluffy things"

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • storiesuntold
    2 days ago
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    Interesting work here

    Very well penned work here and a most interesting muse


  • Treeny
    November 8, 2008
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    Not true.

    Together, you and I are mice. I love this, though

  • Peteskid gold member
    February 16, 2007

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    a simple truth

    hidden beneath words that act like litter blown around a downtown street... this is very skillfully done...

    . Rewarded 4


  • Inside and out
    February 16, 2007
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    A poem filled with logical detail. Your poem is filled with vivid imagery, allowing my mind to picture the scene without effort. I love the last line. It is strong and memorable. A wonderful moral to the story. Well done dear poet.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Saphira Calvaire gold member
    February 14, 2007
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    This was interesting different but interesting. The analogy of rats and people well that was definately an interesting concept over all it was a good write good rythm and good flow. Thank you for the write and for sharing this with us.

  • Pureisolation
    February 14, 2007

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    i found this poem very interesting. I liked how you discribed rats to people, differnt but i get it and i like it good job.
  • nothinghere silver member
    February 14, 2007

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    Ahhhh this is so true, sometimes I wish they did, but they don't or I'd have turned out a hell of a lot better than this... sensational write here. got me thinking

    Karen

  • Dalaney gold member
    February 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A rather different and thought provoking piece
    you've written. Good flow. Easy to read and
    understand. Great work. Love, Lane

  • Thrilla N9nna 503
    February 13, 2007

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    That was very good and very different. I had to read it a couple times to really get the meaning out of it but that was a good poem.

  • Veronica Leigh
    February 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is good and different. Thank you for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck!

1 - 10 of 10