today is tinted with shadows
held behind wallpapered lips,
rain slices through sky,
brushing at secret diary windows,
smudging emotions in a wash of blue-grey.
lightning scissors brainstormed memories,
and every dream
is a poem which ends
in a burst of light.
In a list
A contest entry
- 10 Lines or Less - Free Verse - Amaze Me by Cupcrazy.
400 points, ended February 13, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical comments are most welcome.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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today is tinted with shadows
held behind wallpapered lips,
rain slices through sky,
brushing at secret diary windows,
smudging emotions in a wash of blue-grey.
The transition seemed off between those two parts. But I love the visual of wallpapered lips!
Wowness.
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"held behind wallpapered lips"
--love this image. It's a different kind of lips, I've seen many kinds you know, stapled, burnt, torn, I could go on.
"and every dream
is a poem which ends
in a burst of light"
--aw, that's adoring. Great job with this
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Thanks!
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Wow; the ending was awesome, this was a great write.
So image and emotion packed in so few lines! Excellent.
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Thanks for your lovely comment and appplause.
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Ohhhh beautiful , I loved the last line ,
and every dream
is a poem which ends
in a burst of light.
Can I steal that *smiles* Storm
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Thank you. I love those lines too - I woke up the other day and had vivid memories of dreaming something like that. It doesn't seem to make sense, but I like it.
Oh, and I suppose you can steal it.
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Absolutely breathtaking. thank you for this fine entry
Bunny
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Thank you - have fun with your contest.
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