He looks at her with caring and concern
Something she has always wanted.
She knows that there can not be anything between them
She she treasures this and (every other moment they have).
He is her rock, though she doesn't think he knows it.
Tonight he wants to know what is wrong.
Since he always seems to sense this without her even saying a word.
She lies to him, she wants to proctect him.
He however ( and as always) knows that she is lying.
Pushing it he asks her again
This time she only tells him of things he already knows.
Frusterations of life, and wanting to be free.
There is more, she wants to tell him the truth
the things that pain her the most.
But those are her dark secrets,
and she fears losing him over it.
She wants to tell him of her past, of the pain.
Of how she was raped,
of the baby she had growing inside
the one she loved and lost.
And now the reality...
there will be no more children to grow inside.
She wants to share her childhood.
Of the fears she kept hidden,
Things that now plauge her dreams
She wants to be open,
Be honest
and to trust him.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Sad And Sweet
This poem releases infinite world of emotions in a finite number of lines. I can feel the longing for love, the terror of losing it forever and finally the sadness and frustration of playing it safe. Trust ~ such a complicated concept.
You have outdone yourself on this one, it flowingly tells such a haunting story....you'll just have to write a sequell if the character ever decides to trust again. But I do like th way it ends, the reader has to pause and reflect upon their own reactions and thoughts.
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I think that you may beable to look forward to a sequell.. but we will have to wait and see. I think that the character in question has been learning to love and trust again, so we will have to see what happens.. Trust is such a hard thing, but it is great when it is there, when the assurance is there. Thank you for once again encouraging me in such a touching and profound way. I always look forward to your comments.
Rivkah
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Great Work
wow this is a great write i could atualy relate which isnt good on my part. this brought tears to my eyes, i think we all have times when we want that someone to tell everything but the fear of them leaving hold us back. i have learned that you just have to open your heart and if they leave they never cared. anyways GREAT write. keep it up and never let your talent die.
love the shark
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Wow thanks so much for your comment. I really appriciated it. I didn't think that this piece would render such raw emotion from others.. I was just trying to write from my heart. This is what I had to deal with, and you are right telling them is really the only thing that you can do. I did tell him and he did not leave and that is all that matters. I hope that I can keep touching people with simple words.. thank you for the encouragment of your comment.
Rivkah
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Good Job
Good job Bec. It's very honest and it's as if you can peek into this person's mind and see what they are thinking. I can relate to how the girl in the poem hides her past from the one she loves. Our past sometimes isn't something we want to talk about with others, and it can be hard to deal with. Thank God for poetry! -
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Hey hun... thanks for the comment.. I think that it seems like I can get inside this persons head because that person is me.. this is actually what happened to me.. of an experience I had when with a friend. It is really personal but I had to write it. It is nice to know that people can relate.
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Looks like you were trying to spice up your style.. that's awesome. I enjoy doing that myself. One thought though, this line needs revamping. "And now the reality of having the posibility or the opertunity to have children." It seems to be missing a "not" and it's too long to flow well. But other than that.. Good job
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Thanks Bethie.. I always love your comments. I changed that line.. actually almost took the whole thing out. I wrote it kinda late at night so I think it looked better then. Yeah I am not sure what I was trying to do here other than to just write.
Rivkah
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