The very mortal words
That do declare love
Should be left spoken by
The flaming tongues above
The mortals declare
That they love one another
But they lie in utter truths
As they kill each other
The flaming tongues
That reside immortally above
Was created out of the void
Did they know love?
In the beginning was Adam and Eve
Far from them high above
Eve ate the damned fruit
Adam did too out of love
Did they truly love
Before we were here to love?
But us mortals do love
Those flaming tongues above
As we wonder this earth in confusion
Were we created from spite or love?
A battle field between good and evil
Those damn flaming tongues above
Do I love you?
Well I’m not sure
Ask them above
Those flaming cur
Author notes
the flaming tongues are what ever you worship
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Very ingenious poem. Adam and Eve poems are interesting. The poem is well written and awesome rhymes. I wonder if we are branded as sinners as a result of a mythical action by two people. Whhen u think the transition from harmonious innocence to murderous hatred and.. the growing crescendo of evil following. hmm we can't pretend nothing has happened. They decided for themselves, a step toward upwards, a decision not between good and evil but rather between themselves and God.. so came that disturbance and desintegration. It was a real choice. I wonder if Eve ever said why am i stuck with Adamn
My husband is calling me and i have to finish writing.
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So true!!!! Eve at the damn fruit! And Adam did too out of love! I love that! This is truly a great poem! It speaks nothing but the truth about this world and its false love.
Great write!
Miss Marie
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great
the truth is horrible to hear, but you voice it well. it is a shame that we say we love, but do actions of hate.
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Very interesting write, thoroughly enjoyed!! I do have a slight suggestions however: I like the repeated love/above rhymes, however I would suggest that you either alternate it each use (my preference, personally) or keep it in the came placement within the stanza. Also, S7 you have love ending 3 of the lines, which throws off the balance a touch, and last stanza you dropped this above/love concept altogether.
I think with just a touh of refining in these it would be an awesome write, as it is almost there now. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors.
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I really really enjoyed this write. I loved the flow and use of inmagination. It's almost fantasy but reality flows through
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