This dreadful day comes once a year
catches me by surprise,
I thought I had my one true love
turns out it was just lies
You left me with a broken heart
and a stream of tears in each eye,
I shan't ever forget that day
when to our love you said goodbye
I miss you with a passion
think of you all the time,
for even though you left me
I love you with my heart and mind
For friends is what we started as
then lovers we became,
there's something you must realize
our love was not the same
I cherished it, and nurtured it
I believed in it with all my soul,
and you when you said 'goodbye' to me
you words took quite a toll
And here it is, another year,
another day of Valentine's,
the only difference is this year
you will not 'be mine'.
Author notes
One happy moment in life, gone. Wooosshhhh. Just like that. Anyone care to meet an eligible bachelor? Just kidding.
'Death is near'
A contest entry
- Valentine Day (ages 8-15) by kim5519.
550 points, ended February 15, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LOVE LOST by Darc Soul.
300 points, ended March 2, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The perfect poem by xandercheerios.
800 points, ended March 3, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I loved that poem. It was so good. You could really feel what you were going through by reading that. O:-)
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Oh, hun... My heart goes out to you! I totally understand how you feel, as I have been there myself. This year, I got dumped, for my anorexic roommate on my one-year, and it hurt like a bitch. But hey, just stay strong, and keep pushing on. You'll find someone who is wothy of your love one day. Best of luck to you.
Best wishes,
Laura -
Passionate
Dnt worry u hav ppl here 2 help u make it thro dis n u noe dat! (i hopeb =]) i like it i love da flow n i cant get da perfect ryhming out of my head =]
i enjoyed dis one alot.... u made it flow sooo good...
i hope u make it trho dis ok... i noe it hurts but u should noe u will always have a shoulder 2 lean on =] !
♥Helen
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ok, this starts off well, but I'm noticing some problems with the rhythm. That is, how I read it. I'd remove "and" from line 2, and then try have all the other verses follow the first verse with it's syllable count 8,6,8,6. 4th verse is also close, I'd add the word "then" in the 2nd line and have "there is" in the 3rd line change to "there's". Other than the rhythm, this poem is good, good rhymes, good wording, good imagery...
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This is sad, well written and relatable. .
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WOW JUST PLAN WOW
This is a great poem,and the deep emotion you put into it is awsome...You are on your way to becomeing a great poet.I could see and feel all you were sending out to us....and more
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I really like it, it's well written and i really enjoyed reading it. Sadly I was alone on valetines day too, well i've gotten used to it. Anyway Good job.
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I liked the words you used. The poem really flowed. My favorite part was the first stanza. Excellent job. Good luck on the contest your the best one so far. Don't forget to put your option in the authers box.
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i like it. It shows that your normal and venting after something bad happens, but im not normal, and being normal is not good, lol. jk, it can be good.
~kenz~
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Hey, thanks for the comment! Love this poem, you put a new twist on a simple structure,and that is something great. Four line stanzas are so common and drolling, but you manage to make it exciting
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I know the feeling all to well, being single on Valentine's Day is really no fun whatsoever. Anyways great piece, your heart really speaks in it. Just don't give uup you never know someone might think of you as their valetine. Heh so thanks for entering, and good luck.
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aww!!wow tht's so great!!!i'll be alone this valentine too acctually no..my wolfy ap sis is my valentine
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