trailing smoke
blazing his way into my soul
leaving a trail of burning fire
and throwing me deeper into the shades and flames of Hell-
burn me
till i breathe no more
and Fire conquer all other elements
blood boiling
flesh burning
no relief
from the agony of love
sand blinds
as the phoenix rises
A contest entry
- Fragment, Soulful Poetry (Quick Contest - 2) by Ryno.
300 points, ended February 13, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Elements (Water, Fire, Earth, Air) by tabbykat10988.
600 points, ended February 27, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
this is great... i love how you made it about the phoenix... and still the fire that broght it back... great job and good luck in the contest...
-tabbykat -
Love how you personafied this poem i liked it and enjoyed the metaphor.
Slán Dolores.
-
Very epic, detailed, dark and enjoyed. I thought it's flow was disrupted a little, and sort of rocky;
"and throwing me deeper into the shades and flames of Hell-"
might work better/well to the flow as;
"and throwing me deeper into the shades
and flames of Hell-"
An interesting write, though. Thanks for entering!
~Ryan~
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