I befriended someone new last night,
Kind of like love at first sight.
At first she was hard to figure out,
But after awhile, in my mind was no doubt.
She told me she could end the pain,
That she could clear up my heart's rain.
She told me she would never leave,
So she left her mark under my sleeve.
The crimson river flowed so free,
Taking away all innocence in me.
This was the beginning of my end,
In my hand, I hold my new friend.
Author notes
Written June 17th, 2003
A contest entry
- Your best prewrite by glazecovered.
300 points, ended February 23, 2004, 274 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I have been there so many times I can't even say. I know how realy this is to me and I hope if this is real about your life you stop or havestopped. You are way to good a writer to follow the crowd and self mutilate. Great Great job this is a fantastic piece. Keep up the good work and good luck in the contest.
Shine brighter,
Baby Star -
Hmm...I thought some of the rhymes were rather banal, but overall this was rather good.
"The crimson river flowed so free,
Taking away all innocence in me. "
Those two lines are simply beautiful. You put a lot of emotion into this, and it shows. Great job. Thank you for entering and good luck.
~Anastasia -
short and straight to the point good write could use just alittle bit more of work though NO disrespect to you. keep writing and always share your poetryfriend
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ditch that friend quick! she ain't no good! be thankful that you got a good poem out of it but then run run run for your life!
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great
a good write.it was a little sad to think that a new friend may be the beginning of your end.you did a great job.good luck -
wow this is great,when i first started to read it i thoughit was about something copmpletely diffrent
its so sad but its and amazing poem
"Taking away all innocence in me.
This was the beginning of my end,"
luv thouse two lines
great write
me
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